A Bond That Can't Avoid

I let my toes dig further into the cold dirt, feeling the brown mush beneath my painted blue nails. My fingers curl around dying blades of yellow grass, pulling them out of the ground in clumps, roots and all. I sigh enjoying the quiet woods surrounding me. The smell of autumn was here, if not the rustling of dead leaves was a sure enough sign, and the cold winds were definitely a factor too. Fall was an analogy to me, it wasn't perfect it was cold but the colors made up for it, sometimes it was perfect, sun shining, oranges and yellows rustling in the small breeze. Sometimes it was ugly, bitter cold, dead brown clumps of leaves clogging the drains in the road. This was my life, inconsistent, but a nice long time of pure and utter ugliness. I was so caught up in my own thoughts, that I didn't sense someone coming up behind me. "You know the Beta is looking for you Cay?" A deep voice behind me said. "You're ruining the moment, Evan." I mumbled as I let my head fall to the ground in a soft thud, a crumple sound of the dry leaves follow in my wake. Honey brown hair falls around my face and shoulders, blending into the leaves beneath me. The wavy hair curls around them, twisting and latching on to each and every one of them, trying to stay grounded to any amount of sanity left. There I sat, soaking up the Earth's peacefulness and humanity. "Yeah, well, the moment would have been thoroughly ruined if Beta James found you first." "And you just ruined it." I opened my eyes, greeting the sunlight with a toothy smile, my hands stretched out as they grabbed more grass, pulling up slightly. The sun and earth are the only elements of tranquility that I have left, my past screwed me, and my future is screwing me now, they're the only ones who haven't started to decompose me, to ruin me yet. Even the beloved moon mocks me with it's cunning and misleading intentions. "And you're ruining the grass." "It's ruining itself." I fire back. "Oh yeah, how?" I could almost hear the smirk on his face. "Mother Nature you dimwit." "Fair enough." He said this, as he looks around at the piles of dried leaves in the beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red. "Now come on." His voice was kind, yet stern. He's trying to manipulate me into thinking he's on my side. "Why does it have to be me?" I mumble. I turn around, laying on my stomach, looking up at him. "Out of all the girls, the only who wants to leave is imprisoned, forced to stay in this Hell hole." Evan sighs dramatically as his body slamming down on the ground next to mine, shaking the earth beside me. Leaves swoosh up behind him, dramatically floating down back to where they lay, rustling. "Cay, not everything is bad here, you know." "Says the guy who's not being forced into mating someone seven years older, you get to be mated to your soulmate, you get the freedom you want." As I thought about this I grabbed more grass, taking my anger out on it, squeezing it until all that's left are wet globs of grass and mud. "Everyone treated me different since it happened, but I am the same person...Beta James only wants me for my blood, not for me, but for the blood." "Cay?" I nod my head in acknowledgement, closing my eyes and relaxing as the sun slipped out of the clouds almost as if it were angry. Just like me. "Carina think about the good you're doing for the pack, everyone will love that you sacrificed your mate for this, for our pack and realize just how loyal you are. People will love you!" I sit up abruptly, throwing dirt at his chest in anger. "Don't you understand? I'm not that loyal person everyone wants and I'm not sacrificing anything, it's being taken away from me!" Angry tears filled my eyes and my breathing became heavier. "I hate this." He looks down at his chest mumbling about my rudeness, as he brushes it away. "You'll be Beta Female." He tried again to calm me but all I did was throw more dirt at his already muddy jacket. "No, I'll be a breeder for the future Beta bloodlines." I stand up swiftly, I need to leave. "Evan I can and will never be able to get over he did to me." I spit out as I turn and walk away. He stands up too, following me. "But you're doing it for the pack, for Beta James." A loud slap rang throughout the forest and my hand stings from the impact . "And I'm doing this for myself." His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he absentmindedly rubs his red cheek. "What? Doing what?" He says quietly, disbelieving. "Running." I announce proudly. "As in away? Like running away?" He waves his hands around, gesturing towards the woods that surround us. I slap him upside the head. "Duh." My jean covered knee quickly slams into his lower area of insecurities, my heels digging into the freshly overturned grass. All that could be heard was loud, painful moans and the sounds of my feet as they hit the cold earth, and I was on my way. The trees whiz by as I frantically ran away, dodging fallen trees and low hanging branches. The autumn leaves crunch under my feet as the rocks sliced into them, but my drive was controlling me, not pain. My breathing was rough and heavy, my wolf was screaming to come out, pushing her way into the real world. But I knew if I was to turn that my scent would be easier to find, and I could not see his face again. I was thinking to much, too much about what my life would be like when I became rogue or would I try to join a pack. Would they let me in when they knew a powerful Beta was after me? No. I flinched at the distant sounds of howls, my legs pushed harder and my arms pumped faster. I can make, I know I can.