The Queen

3|NEW GUARD

ISABELLE'S POV

''your majesty the coronation is fit to commence tomorrow, the country needs it's ruler to be stable, and fit for the throne!" willem, the most decorated knight of the court, countered at me

I have being seated at the throne for more than four hours, listening to each and every individual present at the court, some doubting me, some overestimating me. I've never been this strained my whole life. Part of me wishes someone would be there to guide me through it all. My parents were right, it is crushing me already

papa has only being gone for over a week and I didn't even have time to mourn, mother's still grieving, absent and locked inside her room. This is drowning me

I then start to remember the words i said to myself as i first sat on the throne. The sense of strength and power that laced through my veins. How could i doubt myself now? I tried to picture papa on the throne, and how he calmly governed the men, that are now uncontrollably driveling and retorting at me.

They doubt me, they love me as a child, they don't fear me as a queen. I've had it. I've had enough. I will take no more

"SILENCE!'' I yelled as loud as I could.

The whole court quieted down all at once. It is evident that the royal court was shocked to see me fearlessly put my foot down. Demanding and strong. Just what they need. Some was even afraid to utter another word.

Good.

I won't be crushed no more. I felt a sense of satisfaction. Being dominant, feeling confident. i was wearing the majestic crown, and I hope it suits me just as it did on papa. I have to walk in his footsteps, and I do hope I'm doing it just right.

"Duke of Taliscur, is the coronation prepared well for the morrow?'' i sternly asked the duke as he hastily rushed in front of me, i can sense the fear on him. He fears me

''yes your majesty, your attendance, along with the queen mother and royal highnesses charlotte and Mary is all that's needed''

Mother, she's not in her right mind, she hasn't even seen me on the throne yet

''right is that all?"

"Yes your majesty'' churned in the duke of malbrow. All I really wanted to do was to get away from the throne. Be the Isabelle i once were. Free myself from the strain of the throne and run around the garden

But wait, with all of the work i was piled on and the subjects i was to resolve at the court, i forgot all about Jacob. The man i met hours ago, the man who made me doubt myself, weakened my knees and made my heart jump. As a queen I don't want to acknowledge it. I can't, but as a young woman I'm more than interested. He's mysterious and intimidating, he was just too perfect to let go.

i must know all about him

I hurriedly dismissed the royal court and rushed my way to the royal garden. But I mustn't let anyone know what the real reason is for rushing to the garden this quick. Perhaps Mary is in the garden playing with Duchess Mildred's children. I could simply pretend that I was going to see how my youngest sister was doing, god knows I love the child but I can't seem to forget his face. I cannot seem to dismiss him from my mind. His brooding yet enigmatic eyes, and that roguish smile. I never thought of myself to be interested in the likes of him, perhaps a boring prince from another land who'd love me enough, but him? A captain general serving under me? What would papa think? I'm doing him wrong already, I feel dreadful. But it feels so right.

"Your majesty the queen mother wishes to see you" one of my lady in waiting's, Helen I believe, joined me to my walk to the garden. I decided to slow down as I started to feel as if I was being followed. I gave a quick smile at Helen and hastily looked behind me.

I do not, for the life of me, imagined what I would find behind me. Of course. Royal guards. I suppose being queen means you will be followed wherever you go. How am I going to handle this? Being a princess was much more blithely, but now? I am to carry this weight, I am forced into this.

"uhhh yes, thank you, I will see her later" with all that's going in my mind, I couldn't visit my mother. I ordered Richard to keep a close eye on her, all she's been doing was drown herself in wine and tears. She hasn't even seen me on the throne yet. She hasn't spoken to letty or Mary either. I don't want to lose another parent. I understand what losing papa meant to her, but that does not mean letty Mary or I deserve to lose both. The girls need her. I need my mother. I cannot bear the crown alone.

I dismissed Helen and proceeded to enter the garden, much aware of the two guards behind me. Just as I suspected, Mary was in the center of the garden, a few feet away from the maze, playing with duchess' son and daughter.

The royal army was always trained a few miles away from the garden. Knowing that I have no obvious reason to visit the station I must resort to hiding in plain sight and look for Jacob from here. I am queen after all, who would question.

"Leave... I want to be left alone with my sister" the two guards dare not to hesitate as they turned around and walked away. Good. Left alone at last. Now all I need to do is walk close to the station and hope to see Thornburgh. I felt a sense of excitement run through my veins, my heart was beating rapidly and my skin was crawling. I don't know why I'm feeling this way, but I am and I enjoy every minute of it. It's the first time I've ever felt this way, and I will not let the crown take it away from me.

There's that little abomination. Mary can be adorable and a loving child, but she is the most conniving tattle tale of the whole family. She loves being the center of attention, and after papa died, she cried for days because of three things.

1) She lost her father

2) She lost the one person who babied her and gave her all the attention she wanted

3) She wanted to be queen and rule the country, all because the crown looked "pretty and the throne will make her the superior''

She's only 10 which is quite understandable I suppose, but I won't have none of that. No one in the family puts Mary in her place aside from mother and I. charlotte or Letty as we call her, is subjected to Mary's constant nagging and pranks. She's just like her father. Tolerant and too innocent.

''Mary!'' she was playing with her friends, but I do see her face lit up with joy and comfort as she saw me walking towards her. I'm aware that I am selfish and a terrible person, yes, the only reason I'm even visiting my littlest dear sister is for hopes of seeing Jacob.

But

Seeing her little face, smiling after the last terrible day's we've been through, makes me truly forget what I've put into. Makes me feel like the old Isabelle again. I realize how much I miss my family, and how much I truly yearn for us to be together, and as Mary starts running towards me, I realize things will never be the same again.

''sabbie!! You camee!!'' the little rascal really did miss me. As much as she aggravates me most of the time, I forgot how much I truly love this stubborn arrogant child.

''do take a walk with me mare? Your friends won't mind would they?'' Yes I do feel guilty, it does look like I'm using my little sister to get close to Jacob, BUT!

Isn't that what sisters do? Please don't hate me papa, I'm just being a girl too.

''okay! I missed you sabbie'' did she just say she missed me? This little rat? She's making me more and more guilty. How can she be so aggravating yet make me love her more?

''I missed you too my little piggy'' yes it's a name I created for her. Funny story actually. one day, we were visited by the royal family of Espea. My little sister here pushed the roasted pig out the table and decided that it would be funny to emulate the pig instead. Not only that, she held an apple on her mouth pretending to look like the dead pig. Thank goodness for us, as the emperor has a good sense of humor, he held his belly and started hysterically laughing. Mother was fuming while papa was stressed for the outcome. Me and Letty were trying so hard not to laugh. Hence the name piggy.

Those were truly our happy days, I smile to myself thinking how happy we all were.

''ehhh!! You promised you won't call me that!"

''I promised to papa piggy, not to you" I winked at Mary and we both started laughing. We walked towards the station and I guess in my luck, the army was training today. All of the men were engaged in intense training. Some were sword fighting and the a few running and a few doing god knows what. At least our country offers a large number of active strong men.

''sabbie.. Do you miss papa?'' Mary broke my trance of searching for Jacob. I look at her and see the little one almost pouting. All I wanted to do was to hug her real close and tell her everything will be alright. She gripped my hand tight. And I can tell she's yearning for physical affection.

I kneeled down so I would be at her level. I looked into her eyes and I see it's almost welling with tears.

God damn it Mary, you're making me cry too.

''I do piggy, with all my heart. But he's somewhere happy now"

''like heaven? With god?''

''yes piggy, and he's watching over you, watching over letty and me and mother...he'll always be here with us, don't worry''

I can see a smile break through her face. All she needed was to hear those comforting words. How could I forget the girls were left alone to deal with something they were never prepared for? I don't believe we all are. But they never had anyone to comfort them, with mother shutting herself away from us all. Mary yearns to be loved and to feel safe. Letty is 16, she can handle herself I suppose. But Mary? I can just see it in her eyes how much she wanted to be held and loved.

I bring her into my arms and give her the embrace she's been yearning for. Both of us very well wish it was papa we were embracing as we always do. But it wasn't. It was just us. She held me tighter than ever. I felt how she felt. Loved and protected. And I will never let Mary feel alone as she did before.

''are you alright now piggy?'' I ask her, not breaking the embrace. I can feel her tiny head nod inside my arms.

"Mary!!!! We found the rabbit!! Come quick!" far into the center of the garden we hear the son of the duchess call for mary, as we break our embrace, I see her almost toothless happy warm grin again.

''you want to go?'' she nods, I give Mary a kiss on the forehead, to remind her, that she'll always have me.

''I love you sabby" this rascal sure knows how to make me forget about all my troubles in a day, I give her a warm smile.

'' I love you too piggy, off you go now'' and with that, she goes skipping off to her friends. If only I knew that, that is all I needed for my own comfort. She does have papa's eyes. I hope Letty is okay. I must go visit her as well.

There's something in the back of my mind, as if I came here for something aside from Mary, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it....with all that happened with Mary how could I forget?! What was it? Who.... Who was it?

''Your majesty arrived to watch the army train I believe?"

I stop dead in my tracks. I know that voice, How could I have even forgotten? His low yet husky voice.

I slowly turn around to face the person where the voice was coming from.

His shirt is the most sheer cotton shirt I've ever seen? It's drenched with his sweat, or water I cannot seem to differentiate, anyhow, the shirt is hugging his bare body and it's truly evident how big and muscular he is. his muscles are firm and compliments his strength. I hope my cheeks aren't  turning red. How embarrassing of me. My god Isabelle you're the queen. Put your foot down and act like one!

He was almost smirking, his shabby but blonde beard suit so well around his smirk. He was staring at me, more like eyeing me top to bottom.

'' yes, I came to watch the royal army train, it is under my name now and I believe it's in my best interest to see how well the men are doing.."

Perquisites of being queen I suppose.

He nods his head, almost bow in respect for my answer. He looks behind me.

And he smirks even more.

''your majesty...''

Why does he sound like that?? Why does his voice sound so husky and intimidating when he calls me?

''why aren't you accompanied by any guards? You're supposed to be under protection at all costs" his smirk disappeared into concern. And left me in a mild surprise. For a second he caught me off guard.

The irony.

'' I needed to be left alone with my sister.'' His concern washed away to that irresistible smirk again. Thornburgh, stop it. But I suppose as captain general, it's his duty to worry about protection.

I'm so hopeless.

"I'll make sure your majesty won't be left alone as much, as new queen, you require to be guarded at all times. You need to be watched... better protection......if you allow me, that is''

why Is he giving me a smug smile? He's another one of those men treating me like I'm just another woman? although his smile is making my face go red, he still needs to know I'm the queen.

''Granted'' what could go wrong right?