Friend Without Time

Chapter 4

                                                With everything going on I wasn't sure how to say it out loud,

                                                 Other than to scream out to the world that I am depressed.

                                                  But then that would be too loud,

                                                  So keeping it in me would most likely be the best.

My day went from being really amazing, and trying to be helpful to ultimately full buzz kill mood. After finding out about the reason, why Nick got kicked off the football team in the first place I couldn't help but feel responsible for it to some extend. As if Nick and I weren't as close as we were right now maybe he would have just shrugged it off like nothing but unfortunately, that wasn't the case so I am stuck feeling bad about it. And while doing that, I was trying to think of ways to help Nick and in the process of doing so. I always seemed to come back to one thing that I could do in this situation which was, confront Tayler about the situation. Not only for Nick's sake but also for my sake in a way because I just wanted to know what his intentions were to calling somebody that degrading. So yea, I made up my mind and decided that I would be going to do exactly that after school. My mom wasn't going to pick me up after school because Pinky's mom asked her if I could come over today because it was her birthday and she wanted me to be there for the celebration. Which was incredibly sweet of her to do so, and it gives me time because Pinky had a Physics club meeting which I should be but I did excuse myself because I had to go and have a small study session with Mr. Costello, my English teacher but unfortunately he wasn't here today for English so perfect opportunity to talk to Tayler. But as I was scheming this in my head, Nick flicked me on the forehead;

"What are you scheming? And stop overthinking," he said to me.

"I am not doing anything. And no, I am not overthinking." I said to him.

"Don't even try Benji, I have known you since we were 3 years old. You always listen in class unless you are scheming some absolutely evil against someone. On top of that, you always squint your fringe every single time you think about anything quite seriously. So judging from my observation for the past 10 minutes, you have been showing both these expressions on your face, so I say you are plotting something and thinking about something really hard." he said to me. f**k Nick for knowing about me way too well.

"Do you really need to know me so well?" I asked him, and he laughed softly because we were still in class, then ruffled my hair and said;

"Because you honestly one of the people I truly care about in my life," he said to me, and I just smiled at his response, and we both just went back to listening to the lecture. Nothing much happened to me for English because we had a substitute since Mr. Costello had a delayed layover in Japan and he won't be arriving in San Francisco until late today so that is why. After just completing the worksheets that were given to us, I just sat and chat with Nick and both of our moods just started to get a lot better from there. So we both ended English with a lot more cheerful feelings than when we first started with. And when the bell rang, we said goodbye and branched off to our separate classes. I waited outside of the class for Pinky to get out, and she got out a minute later and walked together to our final classes for the day.

We arrived at Study Hall, signed in, and walked to a vacant table and as we sat down we both sighed. And that caught my attention so I asked her;

"So what is kept you thinking in your mind?" I asked her.

"Well its something that I am feeling very frustrated right now," she said to me. What? Pinky is frustrated?

"But I thought you didn't like keeping bad thoughts in your head?" I said to her. She faced me and said;

"I don't but I can't seem to be able to get this one of my head. And that is what I am frustrated about?" she said to me. Well, I better hear this one than because I have never seen Pinky frustrated in my life for as long as I could remember.

"Wanna talk about it? You know, getting this off your chest always helps you know?" I said to her. And she looked up at the ceilings, thought for a while then finally nodded her head. Well, I guess this is going to be a deep talk study hall session. 

"I mean I am feeling bad about how I handled Nick's situation today because it made me feel worse now. I just thought I would use my rational skills into play but it did not since it just made me look like a fool to some context because I am sure Nick wanted things to be normal but maybe not what we portrayed.' she said and ranted at me. Well, this is interesting to say so the least.

"But why do you care about this so much right now? I mean we have all had fights in this friend group but why bother now?" I asked her.

"Well this was going hand in hand with one worry I have been on my mind since the beginning of the summer of junior year," she said to me. I didn't say anything and just listened.

" I mean I know this everything has been building up to the very moment, but it wasn't until this summer that it really hit me how we are all going our separate ways after high school and ultimately might drift apart from one another. I know you think that this is overdramatic but think about it. You are most likely going to be New York or Los Angelos,  Nick is going to join any university that offers him a sports scholarship that will ultimately go on to him playing professionally, Steven is going to study somewhere in Asia because of his desire wanting to travel and find out more exotic locations, and I will either be in Australia studying oceanography. We are all going to be so busy with our lives that we will stop contacting one another, ultimately drifting apart and we will be so awkward with one another in the reunions and just be those friends that drift apart." she ranted to me. Wow, that was a full-on rant, she must have kept this for so long.

"Wow didn't know that this was really affecting you," I said to her.

"I know that I don't always like being emotional but you guys are all I got. I mean what are we going to do? Like I don't wanna lose you guys just because some distance that is going to come along when we leave for college." she said to me.

"I mean it is inevitable, but like I mean if we are still going to have the internet to our advantage. Like its all going to okay." I said to her.

"You say that now but what about when all of this does happen what are you going to do?" I asked her.

"Look Pinky, I don't know what life has installed for us. Nobody does, but what I do know is that what we have right now is the best thing I could ask for. I love you guys and I always will even if I don't get to see you guys often. But whatever happens, will happen no matter how much you try to delay it so let us just play our part and let life take care of the rest." I said to her, and I guess it made her somewhat better because she smiled than hugged me. God, she really doesn't get any skinship thing, does she? Well, I guess I will just have to deal with it for one year. So I just patted her on the back and she let go of me.

"Sometimes I just feel really lucky that I have a friend like you," she said to me. Oh god, the cheesiness is starting.

"Stop, you know I don't know how to handle this s**t," I said to her.

"But seriously though, I look up to you in a lot of things, this is just one of them," she said to me. No, don't Pinky you shouldn't think of me like that. I am a mess, and I don't deserve to be in this world, but that wasn't what I said and just said;

"Thanks but not really." And then the school bell rang, so it was time to go to our final class of the day.

The last class of the day was pretty good actually I didn't really expect it to be good but it was, I even good a good painting out of it and so yea a big plus for me! Then, soon after that, we cleaned up and it was time for us to go home. So which means that it was my cue to go and talk to Tayler. So I was walking back to my locker with Pinky and as I placed the books into my locker Pinky asked me;

"So, I have the meeting for the Physics club and me knowing you aren't going to come today, so I must ask where will you be waiting?" she asked.

"Just in the cafeteria, come out when you are done I will be waiting," I said to her and smiled and left me to go to the physics club meeting.

Now the time has come, I need to go and see Tayler. God, I have been dreading this but it needs to be done if I want to help Nick. I am most likely going to regret this but oh well.

And with that thought, I started making my way towards the football field.