Breaking The Cycle

Chapter 3

Sarah's POV

*Present Day*

    I sit smiling as I watch Cameron and Lizzi play together in their bedroom. Barely enough room for the two twin size beds, I made the best of the space for my children; walls decorated with a mix of flowers and monster trucks and a small rug on the hard flooring in the middle of the two beds giving the kids a soft place to play with the few toys they have. In the far corner of the room, I sit criss-cross on the floor at the small art table filling out job applications, hiding them under the mattress of my daughters bed as I finish them. I will have to sneak these back out of the house to turn them in one day soon when Mark is out. 

    Checking the time, I know I should start dinner soon before Mark comes home and becomes angry. He's been in a fowl mood everyday for the last few weeks and I'm not sure why, but I know better than to push him and make it any worse. The regular beatings are starting to get to me, so I'm going to try to keep him in at least a decent mood tonight, hoping that I can get out of anything too bad.

    A mix of bell peppers, onions, broccoli, and cauliflower with chunks of grilled chicken are just finishing up on the stove top when the front door swings open revealing a very drunk and very angry Mark. I quickly cut the stove top off and begin setting the table. Making Mark's plate first, I set it on the table in front of his chair and turn to make the kids plates. Before I can even spoon rice onto the plates, I am yanked back by my hair. Coming face to face with Mark at that moment, I let out a small cry as a sharp pain shoots through my scalp and I can feel hair being ripped from my head.

    Getting as close to my face as he can, Mark speaks loudly, spitting on me, "Why is my dinner not ready yet?! You must enjoy me beating the s**t out of you since you never do what you are f*****g told!"

    "Your dinner is on the table for you honey, I was just running a little behind today. Please can you let me go? I promise I didn't mean to be late with dinner. It will never happen again. Promise!" I cry out in obvious pain. 

    "I don't give a f**k what you say! I saw you throwing food on a plate trying to cover your ass before I came in. You're a lazy little b***h and you need to be taught a lesson."

    "Mark, Honey, please! I really am sorry. Please listen to me. I love you!"

    Letting go of my hair, Mark grabs up my hands forcing them to lay flat on the still hot burners of the stove top. I bite the inside of my cheek as hard as I can fearing that any noise I make will make it worse. After a couple of minutes, Mark lets my hands go and wraps his hands around my throat and chocks me till my body slowly starts to become limp in his hands. I stay as still as possible trying to save my energy. I know there is no use fighting him; he is bigger and stronger than me and nothing can stop his fits of rage once they have begun. A silent prayer runs through my head as I begin to see spots of black filling my vision. A moment or two later, I let go of consciousness allowing the spots of black to consume my vision. My body crashes to the floor of the kitchen, my head hitting the counter top as I go down. Blood pools on the floor under my head and Mark huffs, irritated by the sight in front of him. Walking to the table, he snatches up his dinner and takes it outside to the front porch and sits in the old rotting wood chair on the far side where he can watch the door if I decide to try and runaway from him.

    Slowly coming to, I blink my eyes a few times trying to take in my surroundings and remember what just happened. I have no clue how long I've been out, but laying next to me on the kitchen floor is a crying Cameron and Lizzi. I hurry to sit up, becoming very dizzy in the process, but I push through reaching for my children to check them over and make sure Mark hasn't hurt them.

    "Mommy, you're bleeding all over the floor!" Lizzi lets out in a soft cry, almost to quiet for me to hear.

    "I'm okay sweetheart. Don't worry about me. Did daddy hurt either of you?" I question as I look into their scared little eyes.

    "No mommy, we're okay. We hid in the closet when we heard daddy being loud and I held Cameron's hand the whole time like a big girl!" says Lizzi beaming with pride.

    "Thank you baby girl. I am so proud of you! I love you two more than you know." I say as I pull them into my lap. I look around me seeing the small pool of blood on the floor and begin to feel all the little spots of pain across my body. Scooping the kids up, I make my way to their room putting them down and directing them to stay put and play quietly. I walk slowly down the hallway checking for any signs that Mark is still here as I head to the bathroom just down from the kids room.

    I'm not surprised by what I see in the mirror, but I know this will be harder to cover and I probably won't be able to leave the house till the deep bruising on my neck fades. I reach under the sink, pulling out the first aid kit and try to patch the shallow gash on my hair line and place a little antibacterial cream on my hands before wrapping gauze around where the burns are. In 6 years time, Mark's beating have never been quite this bad. He always hits me, but always in a place not visible to anyone except me. He held nothing back this time and the purple bruises around my neck and wrists show that. Grabbing a couple pain pills from the box, I throw it back under the sink and go back to the room with my kids. I know tonight, I will need to stay with them to keep them safe in case Mark decides to come back for round 2. I grab them both up and climb into Cameron's bed and the three of us doze off to sleep for the night.

    Waking up, I can just barely see the sun starting to peak through the curtains and I can feel my 2 little one's snuggled up in front of me on the bed. I slip slowly out from under the blankets, trying not to disturb their sleep and creep out of the room, pulling the door closed behind me. Without looking up, I turn to walk to the kitchen and instead walk into what feels like a brick wall. I look up quickly taking a step back only to be left staring up at my husband's face. I try to steady my breathing, fear setting in as he lifts his hand bringing it to my face. He gently runs his rough fingers over the small piece of gauze taped to my forehead and down my cheek to my neck, where he studies the bruising intently. He steps back a little, letting out a ragged breath as he takes in my full appearance. 

    "I'm sorry Sarah, I don't know what came over me last night. You know I love you, right? I don't like hurting you, but you never leave me any option. Just learn to listen and follow the rules and this won't happen again."

    "It's okay honey. I was the one in the wrong and I should have made sure your dinner was ready on time instead of being lazy. I promise to be better for you. I love you too." I reply to Mark, cringing on the inside as I do. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but arguing that with him will only cause more problems for myself. Instead I continue on my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Before I even make it past him, he has a hold on my arm.

    "Where the hell do you think you're going?! Did I give you permission to walk away?! I'm not done talking to you! You just never learn do you?!" Mark growls as he yanks me back to him.

    "I was just going to make you breakfast before you left for work. I'm really sorry Mark, I didn't know you still wanted to talk and I don't want to wake the kids."

    "I don't give a f**k about those sorry ass kids and breakfast can wait. I want s*x before work today." Mark grins with an evil look in his eyes as he drags me through the house to our bedroom. Slamming me on the bed, he rips my clothes off of me and begins taking his clothes off as well. He climbs up on the bed over me and I lay still waiting for him to do his thing and get it over with. He roughly pushes himself into me causing me to arch my back up from the bed in pain. He takes my pain as pleasure and continues to move in and out of me as aggressively as possible, releasing all his anger in each of his thrusts. Finishing quickly, he rips his body from mine standing up and walking off to the bathroom. I lay in the same position he left me in as I wait for him to finish in the bathroom and leave. After a few minutes, he walks from the bathroom throwing a small purple  box at me.

    "Take that pill right now, so I don't have to worry about any other bastard ass kids." he says as he leaves the room. I hear the front door slam shut and his car start and pull away. I look the box over seeing that it is a Plan B pill. I feel sick to my stomach as I take the small capsule in my hand, quickly swallowing it. I'm hoping one day soon I can get out of here and if I do, the last thing I need is another baby to raise alone.

    I climb from the bed and make my way to the bathroom and start the shower. I step in hurrying to clean myself as fast as possible while being cautious of my burns and cut. I get out and redress my wounds before throwing some clothes on and heading into the kitchen to make my kids favorite breakfast; smiley face pancakes with bacon, blueberries, and eggs.