Shredded past

Allison’s POV I never lifted my eyes off Isaac, watching closely each movement he does. I didn’t realize I missed him that much until I finally saw him. Words aren’t enough to describe how I was feeling right now. I was on cloud nine, feeling an overwhelming sensation in my chest, as if a part of me returned, making me feel full again. He finally placed down the coffee, lifting his grey eyes to mine. The way his eyes gazed deeply into mine, it was as if his soul returned to him again. I broke him… my selfish self broke the only person who was willing to help me. This is not how I planned to meet him. I preferred a private place, but here we are in the airport cafe. And we haven’t talked yet. All we were doing was staring occasionally at each other. I hated this tension between us. He was giving me space, afraid to say or do something I’m not comfortable with while all I needed was physical touching. My body craved for him, mostly it was my hormones, but I needed him. I missed sleeping in his warm embrace or him just cuddling me. "You're silent unlike your usual," he broke the awkward silence, and I snapped back to reality. He placed his hand on mine and I tensed under his touch. "We don't have to talk-" "I want us to talk, Isaac. I already left without hearing what you had to say, but I'm here now…" I paused, not knowing what to say. I was lost in my own words. So, I decided to improvise. “Umm… you look nice,” I stammered, offering a small, awkward smile. He tilted his head, looking at me with confusion. "Are you serious?" He asked, lifting a single eyebrow. I nodded my head, and he let out a low chuckle as he removed his hand off mine, holding his coffee. "And you look beautiful as always, princess," he played along, and I somehow felt relieved. It wasn't the conversation I wanted, but I didn't know how to start, so I was building my way up. At least trying to get somewhere. Isaac looked so much different from the last time I saw him in a photo. He had his hair trimmed and shaved his stubble beard, but he still looked strained exactly like in the photo. Emotionally strained. I did that to him. “I see you got rid of your blonde hair,” he remarked, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear with his free hand and pulling me out of my trance. My eyes locked with his grey ones, and a wide smile crept on my lips. “Yeah, I hated it. Blonde made me look like The Simpsons,” I joked, letting out a nervous chuckle. “I like brown hair. It suits you more,” he said with a soft smile and I felt my cheeks get warm. “And I bet Grace Haynes had other thoughts about blonde hair,” he trailed off and I rolled my eyes, picking up my juice and taking a big sip to cool down my flaming heart. Focus on what you want, dimwit. My inner voice snapped at me. I was baffling, reaching nowhere while I had a lot of things roaming in my head. A lot of things to share. I just wanted to go back to where we were happy and I was worried about getting pregnant. I nibbled on my lower lip as I remembered that tiny human growing inside of me. I didn’t know how to tell him I was pregnant. “What happened to your morning coffee? You hate carrot juice,” he remarked, and I felt as if someone dumped cold water on me. “The caffeine doesn’t do very well with my meds, and I try to eat healthy now,” I answered with the first answer in my head, taking another sip of my juice. Eat healthily? I slapped my forehead mentally, cursing myself for missing up. Among all people, Isaac knows I live on junk food, especially burgers, sushi, and pizza. He will know about his baby sooner than I thought. My inner voice retorted. I placed down the plastic cup, feeling Isaac’s intense gaze on me. Thanks to his phone, which rang and saved me. I looked at him as he sighed before answering the call and pressing the phone to his ear. “Yes, Millie.” His eyes locked with mine as he spoke to his sister. “Something at the company happened, and I had to leave,” he lied, breaking eye contact by looking at the flight’s announcement board. “It depends, Mills. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to fix the problem.” “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of myself. I have to go. Scott is calling,” he came up with an excuse to hang up. “So, I’m a problem now,” I remarked, and he took my hand in his, the corner of his lips quivering into a small smile. “You and I know you aren’t ready to meet anyone,” he said as he tightened his grasp around my hand, trying to assure me it was okay. He was right. If I was ready, I would've shown up a month ago instead of chasing him to the airport. My gaze lowered on his hand around mine and I could feel the tears forming again in my eyes. “Am I a coward?” I asked. I always felt like one because I just run away from my troubles instead of facing them. “No, you’re not,” he spoke as he caressed the back of my hand with his thumb, drawing imaginary circles on my skin. “You just needed time to heal and-“ “I didn’t let you explain, Isaac, I just left, and that was selfish of me,” I cut him off, feeling the hot tears rolling down my cheeks. Yes, that’s the guilt eating me from the inside. A lot of things happened after I brought Lola and Scott together, and only Rafael is the one who knows what happened. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as the dark memories made their way back inside of my head. I took my hand out of Isaac’s grasp, wiping my tears before opening my eyes and meeting his soft gaze. The thing I hated the most was Isaac trying to keep a distance from me, yes he grabbed my hand to reassure me, but I needed more. My gaze flickered between his eyes, noticing concern creeping in. He was waiting for me to get things off my chest, but I couldn’t. First, we were in public and second thing I didn’t know what to tell him, I forgot what I planned on the way. Start from the top. Remember the purpose of why you were meeting Isaac? My inner voice tried to encourage me. I clasped my hands in front of me on the table, focusing my gaze on them and taking deep breaths. “I welcomed you into my life. Maybe Scott didn’t tell you, but meeting you was planned… I had a plan and it fell apart as soon as I-” I stopped before finishing my sentence. He placed his hand on mine, and I lifted my gaze to his soft, caring ones. “I fell in love.” I completed the sentence, plastering a wide smile at him. This is it. You can tell him about the baby. My inner voice chimed in. A low chuckle escaped his lips, and I knitted my eyebrows. “Pete placed my table next to yours, and I passed by your table when you were going over the plan with Jordan-“ “You knew from the start?” I cut him off before he could even finish his sentence. He sighed and nodded his head slowly, bending towards me. Isaac knew my plan from the beginning, so I wasn’t lying… “I wasn’t lying,” I repeated out loud as he placed his hand on my knee. “I just went along with you because I always wanted your attention,” he confessed, while I didn’t know how to react. Should I be mad? No, it wasn’t something worth being angry over. I got to meet the best that happened in my life. Even if he hurt me before, I was deeply in love with him. Was it even possible to love someone that much in just a month? Well, when he popped the question, I was in the liking phase, still managing my feelings, then slowly I got attached. My heart was complicated. A person who lies should be a red flag because once a liar is always a liar. But then he called me when I was in Miami with Lola. I ignored the call the first time around, also the second one, along with the third. I never answered his calls. When he stopped calling, I got worried. So I called someone I know who wouldn't lie to me. And that was Eleanor. We had a long conversation, she didn't ask why I left, or about what happened the day I left the house. I was the one who opened that topic as I asked about Isaac, he was way worse than I thought, but I couldn't bring myself to go back. I wasn't ready for that. So, I asked her if she knew anything about the Winstons and my family, and she told me all she knew about the conflict my family had with the Winstons. Turned out she had little knowledge about the problem. Leaving me with the only person who lived through that drama, Anthony. Of course, he knew about it, but I never had the guts to ask him. I feared him. He never stood up for the woman he loved or spoke to his child, he just gave in to his father's orders, afraid to lose the money. Yes, I was selfish, but Anthony Winston never cared for anything except for the money. My aunt wasn't a great help either, she was traumatized when she was told her kid died. So, she barely remembers anything related to the past. “Your silence is worrying me, Al,” his voice tore my loop of thoughts and I lifted my gaze to his greyish eyes. “Sorry, I zoned out,” I lied, plastering a fake smile. But Isaac knew me too well. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, and I sighed, relaxing in the uncomfortable chair. “Why did Holland kidnap me?” I finally asked, and a long moment of silence fell between us. After a few minutes, he parted his lips away to talk, but no words came out. Instead, his gaze snapped behind me, a slight look of confusion was written on his face. I knitted my eyebrows, following his gaze and finding Rafael. “I was looking for you two,” he beamed. Not the perfect time, Rafael. I hissed in my head. I clenched my hands into a fist, and Rafael noticed that, offering me a sheepish smile. “I told you to wait in the car with Scott,” I scolded, while he stretched his hand out for Isaac to shake. “Isaac, that’s Rafael, my cousin…” I introduced him, looking back at Isaac, who was staring sharply at Rafael. The corner of my lips twitched into a small smile when Isaac shook his hand. My favorite two people were accepting each other. Or maybe not. The handshake lasted more than it should be and I knew they were challenging each other, so I had to step in. Men and their egos. I grabbed Rafael’s arm, and he broke the handshake, turning his focus on me. “Maybe we could take this privately. Someone posted you’re here,” Rafael blurted. My free hand grabbed the edge of my hood, pulling it more to hide my face. Even with my dark clothing and the hood over my head, I was noticeable. Isaac didn’t bother to go incognito mode because he knew the paparazzi won’t annoy him anymore. Yeah… he punched one of the paparazzi who was annoying him two months ago. Ever since they take photos far away from him. “Yeah, let’s go,” Isaac agreed, getting up and searching the place with his gaze. The last thing I wanted right now was the media to know about us because mom would know I’m back. And she is the last person on earth I wanted to see. Rafael helped me up, which caught Isaac’s attention. “Are you okay?” He asked, walking to my side and grabbing my arm to support me. Shit. “Yeah, she just sprained her ankle on the way here,” Rafael beat me up with an excuse. How do I make my ankle look sprained? “But I’m fine now,” I reassured with a tight-lipped smile, tightening my grip around Rafael’s arm and turning my gaze to Isaac's. He didn't believe me. Rafael slowly removed my hand, and I found myself gripping Isaac's forearm to support my weight. "Don't worry, I'm okay," I mumbled, but I know my lie didn't get to his head. "Scott is calling, so you better hurry up," Rafael said over my shoulder and my gaze snapped to him, watching the mischievous smile on his lips. “Bastard,” I mouthed to him. Suddenly, I felt Isaac's arm on my back and the other under my knees, and my eyes widened as he lifted me off the ground, carrying me in a bridal position. “Isaac put me down, we are in public,” I hissed and he pretended not to hear me, walking ahead of Rafael. “I said I’m fine-" “I'm not letting you walk on a sprained ankle,” he cut me off, and I huffed, rolling my eyes at him. I’m sure everyone was looking at us and that was the opposite of what I wanted. I threw my arm around his neck, burying my head into his neck, his warmth and his strong cologne instantly swarming me. “I survived two broken ribs and several traumas. I think my ankle being sprained is nothing,” I murmured under my breath. “Did you get fatter?” Isaac asked bluntly, changing the subject. Only a few pounds, thanks to the baby. But it wasn’t our subject. I hit his chest, and he let out a deep chuckle. “Geez, since when did you become that rude,” I grumbled. His chuckles slowly settled down, and I felt a kiss placed on my head. "You know I didn't mean that princess…" he whispered, "I love you, but I just hate your dark humor." He continued, then tensed up at his words. I tilted my head, and his eyes locked with mine, waiting to see my reaction. "I love you, too," I said back before pressing a kiss right next to his lips and burying my head back in his neck. Maybe we will pick up from where we left things off, and that's if I handled the truth.