Vic
I watch as Blu walks out with that man. I knew this day was coming, but I never expected that it will hurt this much.
I feel like my heart is being shredded into tiny pieces.
Fuck…my world is falling apart.
I take a deep breath pulling myself together.
“I guess that’s it,” I say walking out the door. I take another deep breath as the night air washes over me. I make a beeline for my car and get in. I sit there staring at Tau and Tlou’s house as if it would offer me the answers and comfort I need.
I am a little angry at Tlou for not allowing me to talk Blu. Maybe I could have convinced her to come home with me.
For how long?
I shake my head at that question, because I know she would have gone to him one day.
I clutch my chest as pain radiates through me like poison.
Fuck…why does it hurt so much. It’s not like I didn’t know that this was coming…it’s not like she didn’t tell me. She told me…and I fought her on that when I should have enjoyed every moment I had with her.
Now, she’s another man’s arms.
A scream rips out if me. I slam my fists on the steering wheel, as rage takes over my body, as if it owed me something.
I know I’m taking out my anger on the wrong thing. The person I should be beating to a pulp is Xavier Maake.
Oh the way I want to hurt…so he can feel even a fraction of what I’m feeling.
But I know I can’t do that…
Fuck him though…fuck him and his billionaire ass…he is a selfish and entitled bastard and I hope he rots in hell!
I clutch my head in my hands as it suddenly feels too warm like it’s about to explode if I don’t calm down.
I take a deep breath…I need to calm down. I can already feel a massive headache coming on.
I wipe my face ready to go home and face my lonely existence.
The door to the house opens.
Oh s**t…I search for my car keys as Tlou walks out.
Damn, I dig deeper as my pocket suddenly feels like a bottomless pit made of other pockets as my fingers keep missing my keys.
I groan as Tlou taps twice on my window.
I press a button and roll the window down. He stares at me for a few seconds saying nothing.
“You can come back into the house if you’re unable to drive,” he offers looking at me strangely.
“No,” I say not looking at him. “I’m good. I just needed a moment,” I continue feeling like a punk. I should be able to handle my s**t. Blu is not the first woman to cross my path and she’s definitely not the last.
I clear my throat as my fingers finally connect with my keys. I put them in the ignition and start the car.
“Is it him?” Thou asks not looking like he is about to go back inside.
I turn to him; his eyes bore into me. And I can feel the understanding there. He is not saying much, but I can feel it.
I nod remembering that I told him about Xavier on our annual trip.
Fuck… that feels like a long time ago. The desire to take another trip burns through me. But our trips only happen once a year. Tlou, and his twin, Tau and I take a trip every year to explore the many beauties of South Africa. And this year we went to Port Elizabeth with the aim to explore the Garden Route. But Blu and Luna ditched us before we could even start the route.
Tlou never told me why Luna left, but Blu left because her family was commanding her to return and take her place in the family, a place that came with a marriage to a man she didn’t know or love.
I tried talking her out of it, but we fought because according to her I didn’t understand. I didn’t grasp the concept of being forced into a loveless marriage.
Of course, I didn’t understand…
Not that I believe that Blu loves me or anything, but being with Xavier just seemed like a fate worse than death to me.
But what do I know…
“It looked like you knew who he was in there. I mean the way you attacked him…it just…” Tlou says reminding me that I am still sitting in my car in front of his house. He doesn’t look like he’s in any hurry to go back to his and his brother’s fiancée.
I shake my head amazed that they managed to find her…their woman.
Lucky bastards.
“Vic?” Tlou says my name as I don’t answer him.
“Damn, man. I should get going,” I say placing my hand on the gear, and my foot on the clutch, ready to reverse and end this conversation.
It’s really over. She is gone, and there is nothing I can do about that.
Tlou opens the door and grasp my arm.
I clench my jaw, knowing I’m not going anywhere until he’s good and ready. He’s the type of guy who will follow me home until he gets what he wants. At the moment though it’s not clear what it is he wants from me.
He’s not saying much. I don’t feel like spelling my guts out. I think my overreaction in the house at the sight of Xavier was enough.
Tlou’s grasp tightens around my arm.
I sigh looking up at up.
Fuck Tlou, and his stubborn nature, I think as I turn off my car.
“f**k, okay. I googled him,” I say with a shrug. I’m not proud that I went that far. I mean I shouldn’t care who Blu chooses for a husband. But…
I couldn’t help myself when she threw his name at me in one of our epic fights.
We fought so much even Tlou thought that she was not good for me.
But I knew what they were seeing was just the tension and the worry that was caused by Xavier Maake.
That man had been a third wheel in our relationship and I didn’t even know him. Because of him I couldn’t touch Blu the way I wanted.
She had so many rules…hard limits…because of him.
And I didn’t care. Our connection was more emotional than physical. And maybe that’s why it’s hard to let her go, because I’ve never had that.
I’ve never had an emotional connection with a woman the way I have with her.
It’s like she takes my breath away on a level I never thought existed.
She’s smart, beautiful, vivacious and more. Even her moody and snappy side does something to me.
And I haven’t even had s*x with her.
Maybe I’m just crazy.
“Why did you google him? It’s so unlike you.”
Yeah, I’m definitely crazy, because Tlou knows me as the level headed one. He’s the crazy one.
“You’re the level headed one. If something is beyond you, you let it go,” he says as if reading my mind.
“I don’t know. I just wanted to see why she couldn’t choose me,” I say shaking my head because I know I sound pathetic.
Tlou stares at me for a few minutes. I shake my head again, because I don’t even know why I’m still sitting there in my car looking stupid. I am not the first boy to be dumped by a girl.
I’ll get over it.
I close my car door with a sigh.
“Maybe she can’t choose,” Tlou says as if the sound of car door closing woke him from his thoughts.
I stare at him as his words sink in.
What?
He’s crazy…
“Good night. Go inside to your girl,” I say looking at the house. “I’ll be fine, I promise.”
I start the car and reverse down the drive way.
Tlou waves at me and then turns to walk back to his house where his brother and their woman wait for him.
An unbidden image of me, Blu and Xavier together flashes through my mind.
A shiver runs through me…
And I feel…No…I’m not into that…
And Blu can choose…she just didn’t choose me.