Tell Me A Lie

4 - I ENJOYED WHAT I SAW

There are things in life that we can never undo. Just like when you betrayed someone's trust. The trust of the person you lied to is hard to retrieve. And just like trust that is hard to take back, hindi na rin mababawi ni Iris ang ginawa niya sa cake ni Tatiana.

"f**k! f**k! f**k!" she blurted. "Ano na ang gagawin ko ngayon?! It wasn't my intention to put my thoughts on her birthday cake!"

She was frantic about what she did on the cake. Any time soon people at the party will be looking for it. Hindi pupuwedeng ganoon ang cake na ihaharap niya sa mga iyon. As much as she'd like to say those words straight to Tatiana's face, she doesn't want to make a scene and let people know how bitter she was.

Her panic was too obvious because when Agatha saw her face, the woman was instantly on her side with a worried expression. "What happened?"

It wasn't necessary for her to respond because Agatha knew the answer when her gaze dropped on the cake.

"Oh," she uttered. "Iba na pala ang spelling ng 'happy birthday' ngayon."

"Give me money," singit ni Andrei. Iiling-iling ito habang nakatitig sa cake. "Bibili na lang ako ng ibang cake."

Napanganga si Iris sa suhestiyon nito. Hindi kapani-paniwala na bigla na lang itong nag-aalok ng tulong. "Why? Why would you help me? You don't have any reason to. At saka kanina ko pa napapansin ha. Bakit kung nasaan ako, nandoon ka rin? Bakit ba bigla-bigla ka na lang sumusulpot na parang kabute?!"

Bahagyang naningkit ang mga mata nito. "I am not following you, if that's what you're trying to say. And you just ruined my cousin's birthday cake." Halata ang inis sa boses nito. "Come on, give me money. Papalitan mo 'yan, syempre."

Iris swallowed the lump on her throat then forced a nod. She felt the urge to slap her self for thinking that Andrei might be stalking her. "I-I'm sorry about your cousin's cake. Hindi ko sinasadya. W-wala lang ako sa sarili ko." Humugot na siya ng pera sa kanyang pitaka. Dahil walang barya, buong isang libo ang iniabot niya sa binata. "Ibalik mo rin ang sukli sa akin and please hurry! I don't want to get in trouble!

"May bayad ang serbisyo ko kahit pa para ito sa pinsan ko." There was a naughty smile on Andrei's lips before he left which made Iris a little uncomfortable.

"Sino 'yun?" tanong ni Agatha nang makaalis si Andrei.

"Si Andrei. Kaibigan ng amo ko sa tea house. Tapos pinsan din pala ni Tatiana."

Agatha rolled her eyes. "Sayang pala. Hottie pa naman si Kuya, tapos pinsan pala niya ang suluterang 'yon." Lumingon si Agatha sa kanyang likuran na tila ba may hinahanap. "Pupunta muna ako sa taas. Naiinis na ako kay Enzo dahil kinukulit na naman ako." The woman turned her back and started walking away. "Kapag may naghanap sa akin, sabihin mo patay na ako."

Nagpunta na sa office sa itaas si Agatha kaya naiwang mag-isa si Iris sa counter. Few minutes passed and as expected, Enzo came to her looking for Agatha. Sinabi na lang niya na umuwi na ang babae. Bagsak ang balikat nito nang umalis. She felt sorry for the guy. Halata naman kasing seryoso ang intensyon nito sa kaibigan. But sadly, Agatha thinks the opposite.

Iris was alone again. She had nothing else to do, that's why her attention shifted to Troy and Tatiana. The couple are happily chatting, giggling, and laughing at each other's silly jokes. Kung saan-saan napupunta ang usapan ng dalawa. Tatiana was very talkative and Troy was very attentive to listen to whatever the woman says. Nagpapalitan ang dalawa ng mga birong makalaglag panga at kautut-utot. But none of those jokes had the ability to make Iris smile, or fart. Her jealousy was eating her alive. The resentment made a tear roll down her cheek unintentionally.

Hawak ni Tatiana ang malaking kahon na naglalaman ng regalo ni Troy sa kanya. "Ano ba ang laman nito?"

"Arinola 'yan," Iris heard him say. She wanted to laugh out loud. How generous of Troy! "Naisip ko kasi na dahil magkaka-baby na tayo, dadating ang time na mahihirapan ka ng tumayo at iihi ka na nang iihi. 'Di ba ganoon naman kapag buntis? Saka high-tech 'yan. Dekuryente kaya 'yan, ginagamitan ng battery."

Iris felt a pang on her chest. Iyon naman pala, nagpapaka-sweet na naman ito para kay Tatiana. Lalo siyang nalungkot. Never in her life had she received that kind of gift. It was a silly gift, she knows. But the thoughtfulness of the person who gave it is priceless. She wants that kind of love. She wants his kind of silly love.

Tatiana c****d an eyebrow. "High-tech?"

"Yeah." Troy flashed a heart melting smile. "Umiilaw 'yan sa gabi. Glow in the dark 'yan at kumakanta ng Let It Go kapag inupuan mo."

Humagalpak ng tawa ang babae sa sinabi ng huli. Halos makita na ang esophagus nito dahil sa laki ng buka ng kanyang bibig kapag tumatawa. But even though she laughs that way she was still freaking stunning! Alam na ni Iris ang pinagkaiba sa kanya ng babae. Not only was she prettier and sexier, she also has a more vibrant personality. Troy will never have a dull moment with that slut.

Inis na pinalis niya ang luha sa kanyang pisngi. She angrily rubbed her teary eyes with the back of her hand. This is bullshit, she said to herself. There she was, crying over her lost-love and there they were talking about some goddamn 'dekuryenteng arinola.'

It was ridiculous feeling possessive over someone who doesn't give a flying f**k about you anymore. Apparently, all he cares about now is Tatiana and their baby. For him, they are over. But what about her? She's still in denial about the fact that the two of them are done. She refuses to accept that truth and still clings on to the hope that maybe, a day will come and Troy will choose her over Tatiana. Deep inside, she was still hoping. Desperately hoping that they will be back into each other's arms again.

How heartbreaking it was for her to see him happier with another woman. Dati, siya ang nasa kalagayan ni Tatiana. Troy was once hers.

Para iyong sampal sa pagktao niya. Kahit pa imahinasyon lang niya ang sampal na iyon, pakiramdam niya ay naiwan pa rin ang lamat niyon sa kanya. Kung sana pisikal na sampal na lang talaga ang tumama sa kanya. At least iyon, mas madaling mawala ang sakit. Hindi tulad ng emosyonal na sampal, mas mahirap maka-recover mula roon. Her boyfriend cheated on her and knocked up another woman. Matagal din niyang hinintay ang pagbalik nito galing Amerika tapos pakikipaghiwalay lang pala ang ipapasalubong nito sa kanya. No sweet chocolates, no leather bags, no pretty shoes, and no expensive clothes. Only break-up. She thought she could still fix their relationship. But it was too late because Troy is already moving on with his new girlfriend.

"I'm back."

She turned to Andrei. He is holding a newly bought box of cake. Medyo basa ang buhok nito dahil sa ulan. Konsensya pa tuloy niya dahil napilitan itong sumugod sa labas para lang makabili ng ibang cake.

"Pinasulatan ko na sa cake shop ng greeting dahil baka wala ka pa rin sa mood."

Tinanguan lang niya ito. Mayamaya ay kinuha na ng mga kaibigan ni Tatiana ang cake. She sighed. Her eyes were glassy with sadness as she watches the people celebrating. They were all singing Tatiana a happy birthday song while the woman blows her candles. Lahat sila ay nagsasaya. Samantalang siya ay nasa isang sulok at nagmumukmok.

"Happy birthday, Tatiana. Condolence to my lost love."

-

Matamlay na naglalakad si Iris papunta sa sakayan ng jeep. Tumila na ang ulan sa mga oras na iyon. Tulala siya habang bitbit niya ang box ng cake na ginago niya. She was physically and mentally exhausted because of what happened to her today. Mabigat ang pinagdadaanan ng puso niya sa ngayon. Kung sana kaya niyang magmove on sa loob ng isang oras, kanina pa niya ginawa. Kaso hindi ganoon iyon. Moving on takes a long process. Losing Troy hurts, and it will still hurt when it heals too.

Someone whistled behind her back. Naroon na naman si Andrei at nakasunod. Her eyebrows met. "Bakit ka na naman nandito?"

Instead of answering, tanong lang din ang ibinalik nito. "Okay ka lang ba?" His face resembled a genuine concern.

Iris forced a goofy smile. "Yeah, baby!" She made her voice sound lively. She even gave him an approving thumb. Ayaw niyang ipahalata sa lalaki na nagngingitngit siya dahil sa magandang pinsan nito.

Gumanti ng ngiti si Andrei sa kanya pero hindi iyon umabot sa mga mata nito. Nakisabay ito sa paglalakad niya.

"Pauwi ka na ba?"

"Oo," maikling tugon niya bago niya mas binilisan ang paglalakad.

Wala siya sa mood para bumuo ng usapan kasama ito. Nang makalayo ay inakala niyang wala na ito sa kanyang likuran pero naroon pa rin pala ang lalaki. She is starting to feel crept out by his sudden presence. Kanina pa sila nagkakatagpo ng landas. Bigla-bigla na lang itong sumusulpot. Sinasadya ba ni Andrei iyon, o baka naman nagkakataon lang talaga?

Nagkibit-balikat na lamang siya. It's not a big deal. She's got bigger problems than that.

Napadaan siya sa tindahan ng street foods. Sa gilid niyon ay may mga hilera ng mga mesa kung saan may mga taong naglalasing. Tanging lona lamang ang nagsisilbing lilim nila. Iris found herself sitting on one of the monoblock chairs.

"Ate," tawag niya sa tindera. "Pabili nga po ako ng isang bote ng San Mig. Pabili na rin po ako ng kwek-kwek, tatlong stick ng isaw, dalawang stick ng betamax-ay gawin mo na rin palang tatlo. Saka pabili rin ng kikyam at squid balls."

"Kaya mo bang ubusin ng lahat ng 'yan?" hirit ni Andrei na umupo sa katabing mesa.

"Ikaw na naman?! Umamin ka nga, sinusundan mo ba ako?"

"Bakit naman kita susundan? Gusto ko lang din uminom."

Tumikhim ang matandang tindera. "Miss, iyon lang ba?"

"Opo." Binalikan niya ng tingin si Andrei, "Kaninang umaga, nagkita tayo. Nandoon ka rin sa tea house. Tapos sa men's comfort room, at pati sa club?"

"Baka naman destiny," singit ni ateng tindera.

Napapangiti na lamang si Andrei. "It was all coincidental. 'Yung kaninang umaga, nagkataon lang iyon. Muntikan pa ngang maging aksidente, 'di ba? At may business talk kami kanina ni Blake. Iyong sa men's comfort room naman, nandoon ako sa restaurant noon. Kasama ko si Anna. I saw you with Troy. Nag-alala ako sa'yo kaya sinundan kita. Lalo akong nag-alala nang sa men's comfort room ka pumasok. 'Yung sa sa club naman, it was Tatiana's birthday. See? Baka nga destiny."

Hindi nakaimik si Iris. Bakit nga naman kasi siya susundan ni Andrei? Hindi naman siya maganda. Ito na rin mismo ang nagsabi kanina na pangit siya.

Her food was served. Sinimulan na niyang lantakan iyon. Binuksan niya rin ang kahon ng cake. Pigil hininga niyang tinitigan ang malaking 'hotdog' ng lalaki na idinrawing ni Angela sa ibabaw ng cake gamit ang icing. The drawing still shocks her. Kahindik-hindik na simbolo. Pero sayang ang cake kaya kinain pa rin niya. She drowned her self with alcohol. Malamig ang inumin, pero gumuguhit ng init ang likido sa loob ng kanyang dibdib. It hurt and the taste was disgusting.

It was perfect!

Ang unang bote ng alak niya ay naging dalawa, naging tatlo, hanggang sa makalimutan na niya ang bilang. Mainit na ang kanyang pakiramdam at namumula na rin ang kanyang mga pisngi. Unti-unti nang nanglalabo ang kanyang paningin dahil sa kalasingan.

"Paano ka uuwi n'yan kung lasing ka naman?"

Binato ni Iris ng kwek-kwek ang binata. Tumama iyon sa dibdib nito kaya narumihan na ang polo nito. "Hindi ako lashing!"

"Eh, bakit mo ako binabato ng kwek-kwek kung gano'n?!"

"Magkakilala ba kayo?" singit ulit ng tindera. "Baka gusto niyong magsama na lang sa iisang mesa? Marami pa kasing customer, oh."

Tatawa-tawang humarap si Iris sa matanda. "Ay, hindi po kami magkakilala ate!"

"Ay, ewan ko sa'yo Miss! Magtabi na kayo ng boyfriend mo." Sinenyasan ng tindera si Andrei na lumipat sa mesa ni Iris. Inilipat din nito ang bote ng alak ng binata roon. "'Wag mo na awayin ang boyfriend mo. Sayang naman, ang guwapo-guwapo. Choosy ka pa."

"Ano ba naman, Ate?! Nagbabayad naman ako ng tama rito!"

"Magtabi na kayo. Ang dami pang customers, sayang ang pera!"

Iris stomped her feet like a child. "Pero hindi naman kami magkakilala ate!"

She was ignored.

Andrei was suppressing a laugh. "Bakit ka ba kasi naglalasing? Dahil ba kay Troy?"

"And why do you care?" she hissed. "Naglalabas lang ako ng sama ng loob."

"Eh kung itae mo kaya 'yang sama ng loob mo para lalo mong mailabas."

"Ginagago mo ba ako?"

"Suggestion lang naman." He sighed. Sumimsim muna ito ng alak bago muling nagsalita. "You know, there's really nothing that you can do about your relationship with Troy anymore. Tama lang na panagutan niya ang pinsan ko. I know it's a lot to take in. You probably have a lot of questions running in your mind. Like why did he had to f**k my cousin? Maganda ang pinsan ko, hindi naman maipagkakaila. Sa totoo lang ay ayaw niyang panagutan ang nangyari kay Tatiana noong una. He was insisting that he has a girlfriend, na nagkataong ikaw pala. He didn't want to leave you. But he had to be a man. Being responsible for Tatiana's child was the right thing to do. I hope you can understand that, at least. What's done is done, Iris."

Malungkot na napatango na lang si Iris sa sinabi ng kasama. Her eyes are starting to get teary again. "I know that." She tried her best to hold the tears from falling, but like a broken dam all her pain gave in. "I know! I know! I know na tama lang na panagutan niya si Tatiana! But what about my side? I loved him! Tapos, tapos... tapos-." Tapos makikipagsex siya sa iba dahil lang mas maganda?!

She bit her lower lip to stop herself from speaking. Ayaw niyang sabihin. Kapag sinabi niya, lalo lang siyang maiiyak. She hates crying. It's an act of weakness.

Minabuti na lang ni Andrei na huwag na ring magsalita. Iris was drunk. Wala ito sa tamang pag-iisip. Baka mamaya ay magwala na naman ito.

Lumipas ang oras na parehas lang silang tahimik na umiinom ng alak. Mayamaya ay tumayo na si Iris. "Uuwi na ako."

Iniwan na ni Iris ang box ng cake at lahat ng mga inorder niya na hindi naman niya naubos. Susuray-suray siyang maglakad kaya sinundan kaagad siya ni Andrei. May hindi maipaliwanag na puwersa na nag-uudyok sa binata na bantayan ito. He doesn't know why, but he feels like he has to.

Yakap ni Iris ang kanyang shoulder bag habang nilalandas ang daan patungo sa sakayan ng jeep. Andrei was still on her side because he was very persistent on helping her go back to her home safely. Iris was drunk. Masama kung uuwi ito ng mag-isa dahil baka mamaya kung ano pa ang mangyari rito.

Papatawid na sila nang manguna si Iris maglakad nang nakapikit. Muntikan na itong mahagip ng sasakyan. Buti na lang ay mabilis na nahila ni Andrei ang braso nito. "What the f**k, Iris?! Gusto mo bang mamatay?!"

"'Wag ka ngang maingay!" Humilahod na si Iris sa sidewalk. "Ayaw ko na maglakad! Pagod na ako! Pagod na pagod na ako! Ang sakit sakit na!" She started sobbing on the hard pavement. "Gusto ko nang matulog..."

"Ano ba, Iris! Bumangon ka nga d'yan! Nakakahiya!" Pilit na itinatayo ni Andrei ito pero talagang nakatulog na ang babae sa sahig.

Walang nagawa si Andrei kundi akayin ito. "Kaawa-awang babae," sa isip-isip niya. Pasan niya ang babae sa likuran.

"Manloloko..." bulong ni Iris. "Basta sexy... basta maganda... nagpapadala ka agad sa libog." Out of nowhere, Iris was hitting Andrei's head with her shoulder bag. His head was bobbing up and down. "Dapat sa mga tulad niyong manloloko, binabaog! Baog! Hayop lahat ng mga manloloko, mabaog na kayong lahat!"

Nanggigigil na si Andrei pero tinitikis niyang magmura. Inisip na lang niyang wala sa tamang wisyo ang kasama kaya ito ganoon. Pero naalarma siya ng gumagawa na ng naduduwal na tunog si Iris sa kanyang likuran. Minadali niyang sinubukan na ibaba ito pero lalong humigpit ang kapit ng braso nito sa kanyang leeg. He shut his eyes tightly when he felt her vomit on his back. Basa iyon at mainit-init sa kanyang likod.

"Putang-ina naman, Iris!"

Bakas ang matinding pandidiri sa kanyang guwapong mukha nang makita ang mga piraso ng isaw na kinain ni Iris. It was f*****g dirty!

-

Iris was sleeping comfortably on Andrei's bed. She inhaled the fragrant smell of the sheets and clutched the soft pillow tighter. Her eyes opened a little when the smell of fried bacons invaded her senses. Her eye sight was still blurry. She closed her eyes again thinking that maybe she's just dreaming about food. Pero napamulat rin siya kaagad nang makarinig ng pag-ingit ng pinto.

Namimilog ang kanyang mga mata habang inililibot ang tingin sa apat na kulay abong dingding na nakapalibot sa kanya. Napatili siya nang malaman na nasa ibang kuwarto siya. The door busted open. Andrei stood there with wide eyes. "W-what happened?!"

Shock was still in her eyes when she saw Andrei. "Oh, it's you." Her chest was rising up and down in a quick manner. Kumalma rin siya nang malaman na ito naman pala ang kasama. Ngingisi-ngisi siyang napayuko. Ito na namang lalaking ito? The smirk on her face faded instantly when she realized she wasn't wearing her own clothes. Nakasuot siya ng oversized shirt na halatang pagmamay-ari ni Andrei.

"Oh my god!" singhap niya sabay hawak sa kanyang dibdib. Wala siyang suot na bra. Napakapa rin siya sa kanyang balakang. May suot naman siyang panty. "Sino ang nagpalit ng damit ko?!"

"May nakita ka pa bang ibang tao bukod sa akin? Don't worry. I enjoyed what I saw." He winked afterwards.

Her jaw dropped with misbelief.

Iiling-iling na napangiti si Andrei. "Sinukahan mo ang damit mo kagabi. Or maybe you don't remember? You tend to do crazy things and forget a lot when you're drunk." Binuksan nito ang aparador sa gilid. May hinugot ito roon na kulay pula. "I have something to give you. I've been looking for you ever since that night."

Iris licked her dry lips. Parang biglang nanuyo ang kanyang lalamunan. Sana mali ang iniisip niya. Sana ibang bagay ang hawak nito. She was breathless when Andrei held it out, leaving it dangling in mid-air like he was showing it to the whole world.

Her face flushed red at the sight of it. Halos magkulay kamatis ang kanyang pisngi nang makita ang panty. The small fabric was swinging under Andrei's fingers like it was very happy to see its owner again.

"s**t!" she screamed. "I knew it! You stole my underwear! Puwede kitang idemanda alam mo 'yon?!"

Napamaang si Andrei. "W-what? You left this on my car! I didn't stole it! Ibinabalik ko pa nga sa'yo, oh."

"I hate you! I hate you!"

"Bakit mo ba ako inaaway dahil sa panty mo?"

Umingit ang pinto mula sa kung saan. "Andrei? Andrei, anak nasaan ka?" anang matandang boses.

Andrei was alarmed when he heard his mother's voice. He jumped Iris on the bed. Mariin niyang tinakpan ang bibig nito. "Shh! 'Wag kang maingay nand'yan si Mama."

Lalong nagwala si Iris. Pilit siyang kumakawala sa ilalim ni Andrei subalit hindi niya magawa. His strong, heavy built pinned her down on the soft mattress.

"Shut up!"

Her screams were muffled. She was almost eating her own underwear too because when Andrei covered her mouth, he was still holding her underwear.

Sa pintuan ay lumuwa ang imahe ng maliit na matandang babae. Napahawak ito sa dibdib nang makita ang magkapatong na posisyon ng dalawa. Andrei was topless and Iris was choking on her own underwear. "Dios mio, Andrei!"