Madeline POV
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I Stared at the road behind me, which looked empty.
It was past three in the morning, pitch-dark outside.
I felt a pain in my stomach as the driver pulled over.
Finally, I was home after a year.
After a year of pain.
Still, if I closed my eyes, all I could see was my little Chasey.
And every time I remembered him, my stomach would start to hurt similarly to the day it did, when I lost him in a pool of blood.
I dreamed of a new life, wanting to get away somewhere far.
Keeping a hope and a new dream when I left this house.
But now, I was here, back.
Shattered into pieces, wanting to do nothing but to give up.
I blinked away the tears, as the driver opened the door for me,
“Thank you”
I murmured as I got down.
And I quickly rushed to the door.
Making sure no one will see me in this uniform I was wearing.
Whole of my family, friends thought I took a break to travel the world by taking my classes online.
But little did they know, I was there in between the nuns who would look at me like I was the sinner walking on the earth, praying for me like I had a ghost inside my body
While I was carrying my little boy, I was just due for five months before I lost him.
Showed a tiny bump before my fate took him away from me.
And I agree, getting pregnant when you are just seventeen.
Was not a right thing to do,
Especially not in the Baileys house.
But it happened, it was a mistake.
Which I regret each day.
But, I didn't regret my little boy.
I dreamed so much for us, but only to find him still, not hearing his cry when he came to this world.
The doctors called him dead, but I didn't want to let him go.
They took him away from me, wrapped in a piece of cloth.
Praying again, so his soul will rest in peace, I had bad blood clot, so much pain…
And I spent the months, in tears.
Broken as I celebrated my eighteen birthday screaming at the ceiling, cursing the life.
And here I was.
Two months later.
Home, that's what it was.
Until they sent me away, so I wouldn't bring them shame.
The loud buzzer made me flinch, as the maid opened the door for me.
“Welcome Ms. Bailey.
Your father is out on work, he will be here soon”
She spoke as my eyes stared at the house, nothing much was changed since I last saw.
Except one.
Me.
“Where is Stevie ?”
I asked her, my eyes eager to find my little sister.
Leaving her was the hardest part.
“Still in her playroom.
She's not ready to go to bed.
Very stubborn I must say,”
The old lady pinched her nose as she added the last words.
Nodding at her, I made my way upstairs.
And I saw the door open.
“Stevie ?” I called out, plastering a smile on my face, which felt weird.
I don't know when was the last time I smiled.
“Maddy”
She squealed, as she lifted her face.
Her brown eyes watching me.
I opened my arms, getting on to the floor, and she rushed towards me.
I held her tight, feeling her giggle as I tickled her.
Her laughter put a life in me.
An unknown comfort.
“Look Maddy I drew a tree”
She pointed at her drawing book
And I smiled, kissed her forehead.
“I heard Nancy tell me that you don't go to bed.
That you have become stubborn, is that true?”
I asked her. Staring her cute cheeks, which had reduced his chubbiness since the last time I saw her.
“I…
I don't want to sleep”
Stevie pouted, as she crossed her arms
Stubbornly,
“Why not ?” I asked her, curious to know more.
“Because I want to stay awake to see mommy”
She said with a sad tone.
Pushing her lips forward.
“Well Stevie, you can see mommy even after sleeping.
Go to sleep now,” I assured her, as I rubbed her belly.
“She kissed me goodbye that night when I ate the blueberry muffin.
After that, she didn't return at all”
Stevie's eyes filled up, as she said that and my eyes widened.
Surprised.
“Okay Stevie.
I'll talk to mommy.
Now go to bed,”
I assured her again.
I'm not sure what's going on,
“Really ?” She asked, her eyes getting big again.
And I smiled, nodding at her.
“Okay, I'll go to bed soon.
So, I can see mommy soon,”
She squealed again.
And she ran outside the room holding her unicorn stuffed toy.
Walking down the stairs I found Nancy cleaning the table,
“Nancy, where is my mother?”
I questioned standing at the edge of the stairs.
“Huh…
I .
I don't know Ms. Bailey” she stuttered and went back to her work.
The whole night I couldn't blink a sleep.
It was like everyone was coming for me, to laugh at my fate.
I felt my dream getting big but only to be crashed down later on.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't blink a sleep for more than a minute.
When I heard my father's car, pulling up.
I rushed towards the door.
Wanting to see him.
With a hope to see my mother.
Or at least know about where she was.
But when I saw my father, I met his menacing eyes on me.
Similar to the day I had left.
Embarrassed?
maybe disgusted.
But I did everything they had told me.
I understood my mother when she convinced me to go to the women's center where I can give birth and that after the baby is born, they will give it off to better parents as they felt I was incapable.
Maybe I didn't believe them.
That's why I had planned to run away.
But lost everything.
That's how life is.
One minute you have it at all
But the very next second, there's nothing left.
“Huh.
Where is mom?”
I finally found my voice as I questioned him.
“I don't know.
She didn't tell me where she would go, by taking out all the money from the business.
And from our joint account.
She just packed her bags and left.
Maybe she found a better home than here.
And you better stop asking anything about her.
I hate it
Tell your little sister too”
He Gritted out angrily and by his tone I could figure he was drunk.
But I never saw him this way.
Maybe there were many changes that had happened during my absence.
And, I hoped, to know more about it.
*********************
One year later **
○○○
I hurried, grabbing Stevie's bag.
We were going to be late again.
And just the thought of it, gave me a bad anxiety.
“Stevie come soon.
We are going to be late,”
I called out.
And she ran in her cute little uniform on with pigtails.
“Will you pick me from school too?” She questioned
And I shrugged,
“If I'm not working I will for sure baby.
Now come on,” I rushed her.
As I started the car, she didn't complain this time.
“Ms. Barry wants to talk to you.
I got in trouble”
Stevie whisperer softly as she sat, her eyes fixed on her hands.
“What's wrong ?”
I asked her as I focused on the road.
“I just told all my friends that my mommy was in the moon.
Everybody laughed at me.
And Ms.Barry heard that.
She asked me where was my mommy.
I told her, at the moon.
Because Nancy told me, all the people after leaving us goes to straight there.
Mommy hasn't returned home in a long time.
So, I figured she's also at the moon,”
She explained, her little fingers fidgeting over her dress.
“Listen Stevie baby.
Mommy is just out there, far from us for now.
She will come back soon.
Okay ?
I promise you, and if anyone asks you about mommy, why don't you tell them she's gone to visit her old friends?”
I looked at her, hopefully she will understand.
Because I didn't know the right answers for anything.
My mother was still missing, I had no clue where she was.
My father will not even utter a word about anything at home.
not even a word about mom
I have started working for him and in office it's all about work…
The debts, how the business has been affected since my mother left us.
And insults at me, when I fail to meet his expectations.
This was life after coming back home.
Silence, work, and tears.
Emptiness inside and out
I don't know where this will go, but I want to know where is my mother.
At least for Stevie.
I wanted to find her.
At any cost.