Tomorrow may never come

Something Borrowed

I woke up in a white room.  I thought it was a hospital with white walls and white curtains but the whiteness of everything was endless.  As far as I could see, I saw nothing but pure and unadulterated white.  I looked down at myself.  Even I wore white.  The blood on my clothes were no longer there and the bruises that I have received seemed to be but a distant memory.  I looked at my hands and placed them onto my face.  Yup, clean as a whistle.

Am I dead?

Voices echoed from the hallway outside.  The arguments were a little vocal but I could not make out the words.  I hesitated a little, thinking that nothing comes out of being an eavesdropper but when I heard a certain name being mentioned, I decided to get up anyway.

I slowly made my way towards the door and swung it open, my mouth gaping when I saw who or what was standing in front of me.

"Oh dear, she's awake."  A white haired angel nervously spoke while looking at me.

The other angel huffed and snarled at the other.  Clearly he was annoyed at seeing me or something but I just gulped.  I think I want to faint.

Okay, so I am really dead.

I am looking at certified angels.

This is certainly heaven.

As I was pondering things at my predicament, the white haired angel was dismissed by the dark haired one who was now looking at me with a belligerent look.  He gestured for me to go back inside the room which I mutely complied.  As there were no seats or chairs, I sat back on the bed while the angel stood and looked at me morosely.  He sighed impatiently and whisked out his brown parchment and quill.  He huffed again before looking back at me.

"Okay, Miss Catarina.  I do apologize but it seems you are not yet scheduled to enter the gates of heaven.  There has been a mix up with the person who was supposed to die this day.  A certain Ana Dela Roux, your younger sister."  He spoke slowly so that I can keep up with his explanation.

The first thing I did was blink.  Did I just hear him right?  I was not supposed to die today?  My sister was the one who was supposed to meet her maker and not me.  I was not supposed to enter the gates of heaven...hey!

"What do you mean?  Aren't I supposed to be a wandering spirit then?  Like those in the movies?  Since I have unfinished business on earth and some such thing."  I managed to ask even though it was just a speculation.  The angel heaved a sigh and snapped his quill irritably.  He looked towards the heavens.

"Um, you will only remain on earth as a wandering spirit if and only IF you have a personal vendetta with someone on earth.  As you are an outstanding human with a clean record, coupled with the hardships you had to go through, I think you should know what happened."  He replied.

"Oh."  I muttered.  I was thankful that all the things that happened to me gave me a ticket to heaven but there are somethings that I still have to do on earth.

"So what happens now?"  I timidly asked.  I really don't want to pester the angel with my inquisitiveness but I did get the feeling that they don't want me here.

He confirmed it when his brows furrowed and once again looked at his parchment.  He rolled it up and looked me in the eye.

"Okay, here is what we are going to do.  As I cannot bring you to the gates since you are not supposed to be here, I am giving you two choices."  He snapped his forefinger upward.  "One, you can stay here and work with us as we guide the spirits towards the gates until such time as you can enter them.  Or,"  He hesitated before mustering up the words out of his mouth.  "I could allow you to go back to earth and you can live up your previous life from the day of your choosing until the time we can bring you back here.  Of course, since this is the fault of my fellow angel of death, you can ask a boon to take with you but you will not be able to ask to be brought to life once you time is over.  Are we clear?"

I thought about the first option.  It seems working with the angels in guiding spirits pass through the gates can really be a helpful work for me.  I mean, I get to see how many souls can really reach heaven and be granted an audience with the Lord.  

But the second option was something I had not expected.

I could go back to earth and live out my life and do things that I had not done during my lifetime.  I could still make a difference.  But of course, there is also a chance that I might earn sinful things that might change how heaven views me.  

I thought long and hard on what I should do.  It would be easier to let everything go.  After all no one would be mourning for me.  No one would even wonder where I might be but such a thing seems to be admitting defeat.

Do not go gently into that good night

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

I suddenly remembered the poem that my teacher taught me in school.  I should do what I am supposed to do. I know I should do what I am supposed to do.  The angel tensed when I sat forward and looked him in the eye.  I have only one question for him before I make my choice.

"If I can live again, does that mean that everything that happened to me will be forgotten and I won't remember a thing?"  I asked.

The angel looked at me finally seeing what I was up to.  Respect reflected from his eyes as he took note of my posture and the determination shining in my eyes.

"Well that is true."

"But I do have a boon right?"

And so my fate was sealed.