My Son Or My Mate ---- completed ----

Pheonix

Phoenix pov 

Its Sunday afternoon and I decide to go for a run with Blake my wolf. I go behind a tree near the pack house and shift. It feels so good running through the forest. Feeling the dirt in my paws. We head to the lake that isn't far away. I look in the lake and see my reflection. I love my wolf. He's a giant black wolf. With silver specks on my face and tail. I'm an alpha so I stand larger than any other wolf. Blake has been going crazy since we woke up. Every time I ask what's up he just replies that he cant explain it. It's just a feeling he's getting. So I thought a run would take his mind off things. I let him take control and he howls in appreciation. 

After an hour of him running around and exploring the woods we head back. I take control and shift and get dressed with the clothes I put behind the tree earlier. 

"Feeling better Blake?" I ask him. 

"I just cant explain it, I feel happy and sad, I have this weird feeling inside me." He says agitated. I sigh in frustration I don't know what to do to help him. I go grab some food from the kitchen and sit with my mum, sister, beta and gamma. 

"How are you feeling today mum?" I ask worriedly. My father died a month ago and my mother hasn't recovered. Not that any of us expect her too she lost her mate, her other half she just nods in response while poking at her food... I haven't met my mate yet neither has my gamma. My sister has and so has my beta. And I can see how happy they are, they keep telling me it's the best feeling. It's the feeling of completion. Like everything finally makes sense, no matter how s**t your feeling your mate can change that with just their scent or smile. Even though I haven't met my mate I am dating Rosalie. She is hot, she has long blonde silk hair. Petite frame with good curves. Blue eyes long sexy legs. I'm not in love with her and we both know were not mates but we keep this little charades up cause in all honesty I'm lonely. Not that I could ever admit that to anyone. The last thing I want is people thinking I'm weak and trying to challenge me. 

Ever since my father past I had to step up quickly. No more acting like a stupid teen. I'm 19 years old which is still relatively young to become alpha but I didn't have a choice. I didn't have time to mourn his death I had to help a pack that suffered a great loss, I had to be there for my mum and sister. I had to grow up fast. Rosalie tried to support me but honestly all I wanted was my mate. I just want her touch, her love. 

My mothers gets up and heads for her room. That's where she's been living these last 4 weeks. It breaks my heart to know I cant help her. Me and my mum have always been close. She's my whole world. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her and I know she wants me to find my true mate and be happy. Her and my dad weren't happy I'm dating Rosalie, were not official or exclusive so I don't take the relationship too seriously. But my parents want me to find my mate and now I'm alpha its important cause the pack needs a Luna. 

I chat to Ethan my beta, Laila my sister and Ross my gamma about mum. "I'm worried about her" I hear Laila say. I pull her into a side hug as were sitting beside each other and kiss the top of her head. "She will be ok, she has us." I say faking the confidence I'm projecting. But they see right threw me. "We have other things to worry about too. Like Phoenix finding a mate and giving the pack a Luna." Ethan says. I sigh while running a hand threw my hair. Not the Luna talk again. "Look Phoenix I know you don't want to hear this but there's talk amongst the other packs that you haven't found your mate or got a Luna they think your weak. You know this could cause a war for dominance" Ross says sympathetically. I stand up angry "your right I don't want to talk about this. And you tell anyone that wants to challenge me where to find me. I'll rip their f*****g throats out OK!!!!" I hiss out. I storm to my room which is on the 5th floor of the pack house the whole floor is my room. 

I lay on my bed and I can't even control the tears coming down my face. Blake is howling in pain. It's just too much sometimes. I miss my dad, he would know what to do. He would know how to handle this mess. As I drift off to sleep I cant help but think of her. My mate. 

I picture the most beautiful woman on earth. She'll be smart, funny, kind, caring, loving and she'll be all mine. I dream of touching her feeling her soft smooth skin against mine. How she bites her bottom lip while I kiss her sensitive spots. How she will carry my mark proudly on her neck. How her laugh will brighten up my day and be contagious and we laugh together. She will be strong, fearless and just perfect. I have the best sleep while picturing her. 

I wake up at 7am feeling lonely, cold and depressed. After spending all night dreaming of my perfect mate, I feel empty waking up alone. I look at the empty space next to me on my bed. "One day I will wake up to you. Who ever you are." I say out loud to myself. I drag my self off the bed and get my self ready. 

After I shower I dry my hair with a towel leaving my jet black hair messy, I run my fingers through it just to get it out my eyes. I have it short at the side and back and a little longer on top. I grab my black Jean's and a white t-shirt, the white really pops against my lightly tanned skin. I grab my white trainers and take a quick glance at my self. I also have jet black eyes which can be confusing to distinguish the difference between me and my wolf. When it's Blake his eyes have specks of silver in them. The same when were in our wolf form. 

I head down stairs grabbing breakfast that one of the omegas cook. We have a lot of people that work in the pack house, doing various jobs. There's a lot of us sitting at the table enjoying breakfast. We have fruits, pancakes, bacon, sausages and eggs. I load up a plate giving myself the energy to get through the day. We start talking about random stuff when I feel Rosalie's presence behind me. She sits next to me grabbing a fork and helping herself to my pancakes. I don't get why she doesn't just fill her own plate. She rests one had on my thigh leaning into me. "Morning baby. You sleep ok" she asks sweetly. "Yeah I guess" I respond. I slept great actually spent the night dreaming about my mate but then I woke up alone and that's what's put me and Blake in a bad mood. 

After breakfast where Rosalie is doing her best to make conversation and me ignoring her for the most part. I head off its Monday and I volunteer as a guidance councillor at Weston high school. It's a mixture of wolves and humans. As they know nothing about our kind we integrate and act like normal humans. I started this guidance councillor position about 6 months ago it was my dads idea as future alpha I should get to know and help all younger pack members as they will be by my side for many years to come. Although I was first against it I really enjoy helping people with their problems. Although these problems seem minor to me they really do affect that individual and knowing I can help them makes me feel like a better leader. 

As I'm parking in the car park Blake is going crazy. I honestly don't know what's happening to him. He's just howling and being restless. I'm trying to calm him but nothings working. Getting annoyed I just head to my office I have kids to deal with I don't have time for this as well. As I walk through the school I'm greeted with pack members lowering their heads in respect and the humans greet me with a smile or a hi. I go sit in my office. Looking around at my bare empty walls. Its not a huge office but I really don't need any thing fancy. It's still of good size I have a 2 seater couch, a large desk with a chair on opposite sides and a computer on my desk to the side. Its 8:55 and I have a student at 9. "Let's do this" I say with motivation.