Perfect Impurrfections

Furry Rebellion                   Crystal was glad to finally be done for the day.  Her work at the gyms had been brutal and she was glad that her day was over.  All she wanted to do now was take a nice hot shower, kick back on the couch, and binge watch some anime from her collection.  Why couldn’t life be more like cartoons?  A lighthearted love with the most amazing and hottest guy around sounded good to her.  Sometimes she genuinely wished that she was an anime character instead of a real-life person.  Hell, she even found the male anime characters better looking then most of the guys she met in reality.                  Crystal had grown up in the middle of a farming community, and unless you were into cowboys, which she hadn’t been, there wasn’t much to choose from.  She didn’t want to be the wife of a farmer or an oil rigger.  Not that there was anything wrong with that, but they spent long hours working and were hardly home.  That’s if they didn’t travel for work and were gone for weeks at a time.  Her own family were farmers and while growing up in the country had been amazing, she found she wanted more than small town life.  As soon as she had turned 18, she had left for bigger things.  Not that being a gym instructor was better, but it was something she found enjoyment in doing.                 Plopping down on the couch she released a sigh to finally be off her feet for the day.  Slouching down she vowed to get up shortly but first she needed to relax.  Crystal’s eyes had just begun to droop when something fell onto her chest knocking the wind out of her.  Her eyes flew open wide with the sudden attack as an almost animalistic sound flew from her mouth.  Glaring down at the assailant she didn’t have time to be angry at him as he began rubbing his head all over her face causing her to burst out laughing while avoiding getting cat hair in her mouth.  The ginormous tom cat kept up his assault as he kneaded her torso with all four paws.  Crystal groaned in pain each time a paw of the 23lb cat dug into her.  Trying to pick him up and move him didn’t work either.  He was back on her before she could even manage to sit up let alone get away.  Drool dripped off his chin as it splattered her in the face while she was trying to turn away to avoid it.  If she didn’t need a shower before she definitely did now.  The cat began turning in semi circles kneading away with his paws as his big fluffy tail kept smacking her in the face.                 “Crap B.B. get off.”  Crystal hollered at him, but he just continued with what he had been doing only pausing momentarily when she said his name.  B.B. was short for blossom butt.  He had been a stray that had wandered over to her door one late chilly night.  She couldn’t just ignore the kitten with the saddest face she had ever seen so she had brought it in.  She had originally thought he was a girl since B.B. was a calico kitten.  She named her blossom and claimed her.  About a month later two round little growths had appeared on the back of the cat making Crystal freak out that something was wrong.  She had rushed the cat to the vet right away worrying the entire time that her little girl had tumors.  As it happens, it didn’t have tumors but instead ended up being a rare male calico.  Crystal had been shocked and took him home after getting him his shots.  She just couldn’t bring herself to change his name however since he was already used to Blossom.  His nick name came later when he proved to be quite an overly flatulent feline.  Her best friend Casey kept calling him blossom butt instead of Blossom and the name stuck.  She preferred calling him B.B. instead as it felt too much like picking on him otherwise.  Coming back to face her B.B. dove his head right into the middle of her cleavage purring loudly as he held still.  Shaking her head Crystal began to pet him cooing at him in comfort.  She wasn’t sure if he did that for ease or if he just liked sticking his head between her boobs, but he did it at least once a day.  Maybe she would have to look that up on the internet.  Perhaps he has some kind of a mental illness or something.  They did say that pets often resembled their owners and Crystal was beyond positive that she had a mental illness.                  She hadn’t yet discovered what hers was yet, but she felt sure that there was something wrong with her.  Every time she matched the symptoms of one, she immediately rushed over to Dr. Miller’s house to consult him.  She had his schedule down pat and if she couldn’t catch him coming out of his townhouse on his way to work, she could usually cross paths with him when he got home.  Unfortunately, every time she thought she had finally figured it out he would dash her diagnosis to pieces.  He had told her once that other than being a hypochondriac of mental illnesses there was nothing wrong with her.  Crystal knew deep down there had to be something.  It became her life mission to find out just what that was too.                 Well that and to find her true love, her soul mate.  Crystal, being preemptive, had not only signed up for every dating site she could think of but also downloaded a few apps and put out a personal ad in the paper.  She had a plan and a timetable to adhere to.                  Feeling a little wet and slimy Crystal looked down while reaching her hand up to wipe at her neck.  Her fingers came back covered in cat drool that had not only coated her neck but because of the semi lounged position she was in, it had run back over her shoulders and soaked into her hair.  She gagged as she thought about the fishy smelling substance soaking into her clothing and hair.  She turned her wet fingers around shoving them in the cat’s face.                 “This is gross B.B.”  The cat, looking completely unfazed with her meltdown, licked the slimy goo from her fingers before rubbing his head over her wet hand.  He continued licking her fingers then rubbing his head against them until she figured out, he was using her to help bathe himself.                  “Eww B.B. the only one I want to shower is me.  Do it yourself.”  She tried to pull her hand away from him but every time she tried, he would reach out his paws latching onto her hand and pull it back to him.  The two of them became utterly immersed in their weird little game of bathing push and pull.  The whole world could blow up around them and Crystal probably wouldn’t notice a thing.  Which is how she hadn't heard when someone came stomping up the front steps of her stoop.  In her defense B.B. never looked over either.