Breaking Me Slowly

I can’t exactly say what I’m feeling as I stare at myself in the mirror. Apprehensive, maybe. Choosing a wedding dress should be the most exciting time in a girl’s life so why didn’t I feel that way? “I’m just going to say it,” Sydney says. “You look like Cinderella and I’m jealous.” My gaze flickers to hers through the mirror.  “You look so beautiful,” Rebecca adds. “Very,” Grace agrees, taking a sip from her champagne glass. My cheeks are on fire from their complements. “The only opinion that matters, though, is yours,” Rebecca says as she fixes the dress. “What do you think?” I tilt my head, thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong, the dress is gorgeous. Beautiful even but there was something about it that was making me say no. “I’m not too sure about this one,” I finally say. I watch as Rebecca takes a step back to examine the dress through the mirror. She bites her bottom lip, thinking it over. “It’s too bell-shaped,” I add, quickly. Rebecca frowns. “What do you mean, it’s perfect! I want to wear that to my wedding,” Sydney says. “It’s all yours,” I joke. Through the mirror, I watch Grace turn just an inch towards Sydney. “Speaking of, are we going to hear wedding bells any time soon?” Sydney’s smile drops for a millisecond, but I catch it. “I don’t think so,” she answers. “You want to try on the next one?” Rebecca asks me. I nod and step away from the vanity mirror. I manage to shimmy out of the dress and hand it to Rebecca through the small slit between the curtain and wall. Turning towards the next dress, I frown at the thought of having to put it on. This dress had a lot more fabric than the previous one. Surprising, I know. When I managed to slip on the dress, I called Rebecca in to help me zip it up. “It’s very long,” she comments. I hum an agreement. I pick up the ends of the dress before heading back to the vanity room where Grace and Sydney were waiting. Even with me holding the dress up in the front and Rebecca holding onto the train, I still manage to trip. I let out a sigh of relief once I stepped onto the wooden platform. “Ooh, that one’s so pretty too!” Sydney says, excitedly. I give her a smile. “What do you think?” I turned my attention back to the mirror. I looked at every detail, closely. I scrutinized every stitch and thread. Nothing was wrong with the dress, but I still wanted to say no. “I like the design and the fabric,” I said, brushing my fingers against the lace. “And the shape.” Rebecca smiled, slightly. “Alright, at least we now know what we’re looking for.” My stomach dropped. I don’t know why, but it felt as if someone had kicked me. I wanted to hurl. I briefly heard the ring of a phone and Sydney murmur something about using the restroom. I thought I was going to pass out until I felt a gentle squeeze on my shoulder, pulling me back to my senses. “Would you like to sit?” Rebecca asks with an easy smile. I shake my head. “I’m alright now.” She gave me a look of pity, my eyes falling to the ground. “I never told anyone but when I married Sterling, I had only met him once before.” My gaze flicked up to hers, a confused look on my face, I’m sure. “What do you mean?” Her smile reappears, eyes flickering to the now empty couch. “I was sixteen when I first met him. My parents threw me a party, invited as many people as they could, including the Mitchells. The entire night, our parents made us hang out at the party together and it made furious with them. I didn’t particularly like Sterling when I had first met him.” “You didn’t?” I ask, the question just slipping out. “Not at all. He was cocky and so full of himself; I thought my parents were crazy for making me spend my entire birthday with him.” Rebecca takes a deep breath, then, “and then a few days before my eighteenth birthday, my parents told me that I was betrothed and was to be married a couple days after my birthday.” I frowned at the thought of being in Rebecca’s shoes. She didn’t have as much time as I did to come to terms with it so I could only imagine the apprehension she was feeling. “When I asked who, my head nearly exploded with rage. Of all people it had to be Sterling. Now when I think about, I should’ve known that the reason they made me spend time with him in the first place was because he was my future husband.” “Who could’ve guessed,” I say. “We were married no matter how hard I tried to fight it. The first two weeks of being married, I spent the time locked in my room.” She laughs, mostly to herself, but I chuckle along with her. “I wouldn’t come out for anything. And then, Sterling found a way to coax me out.” “How’d he manage to do that?” “He promised that if I came out, I could have a music room. I didn’t believe him at first and so I still didn’t come out of the room. Eventually I did, and I had no choice but to get to know him. Turns out, he wasn’t all that bad.” I smile alongside with her. “I’m really starting to hate how often I need to use the restroom,” Sydney says, with a huff of annoyance as she walks in. I threw her a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, Syd.” Absentmindedly, she rubs her belly. Sydney was only four months pregnant, but barely showing. “It’s not your fault,” she says, lightly. “Are we saying yes to the dress?”   I glance behind me at the train of the dress. “I don’t think so. I don’t wanna fall on my face at my wedding.” That felt weird to say. And so, the rest of the day went something similar to that. I didn’t fall in love with a dress enough to say yes. Rebecca reassured me that we still had time and appointments to two other places, so I was bound to find something. I hoped. On our way home, Rebecca insisted we stop for lunch. An idea I wanted to refuse because I was hoping to have lunch with Grayson, but I didn’t want to seem rude. “The boys won’t be done until six,” Rebecca says, glancing at her watch. I frowned as my plan went out the window. “What do you say, girls? I’m starving.” Sydney rubs her belly. “I could use some food.” Rebecca looks at me, expectantly. I didn’t feel like sitting at home, waiting around for Grayson so I smiled and agreed. I had been thinking about Rebecca’s story from earlier. It did make me grateful that I at least had gotten to known Grayson first before marrying him. At least I wasn’t going in completely blind. Rebecca pulled the car into an empty parking space, cutting off the engine. I wasn’t familiar with the area, but the restaurant seemed high end, making me look down at my outfit. I was wearing an oversized sweater, jeans and tennis shoes. Not exactly the most formal outfit. I noticed Sydney also glanced down at her clothes. She was wearing leggings and an oversized shirt, also not the fanciest. Rebecca noticed our hesitance as we walked towards the building. “You look great, don’t even worry about it.” It was easier for her, she always dressed nicely and even if she hadn’t, people probably wouldn’t even notice because they’d be too busy looking at her face of perfection. As soon as we walk in, the host greets us with a brilliant smile. “Mrs. Mitchell, it’s lovely to see you,” he says. “It’s been a while,” Rebecca answers with a smile.   “The usual table?” he asks. Her smile widens. “Please.” We follow him outside, to a table out on the deck overlooking the lush, green hills. Sydney takes a seat next to me while Rebecca places her purse in the empty chair across from Sydney. “I’m going to run to the lady’s room,” Rebecca says before heading back inside. Sydney and I take up the menu’s and begin browsing through. “Yeesh, this place is pretty schmancy,” Sydney utters. “It sure is,” I agree. “You better get used to it,” she jokes. “Me? What about you?” Her brows furrow but she doesn’t look up from the menu. “What about me?” “Are you forgetting who your boyfriend is?” I ask in a serious tone. “Emphasis on boyfriend, not fiancé.” I look at her stomach, pointedly. She throws me a look that I can’t decipher. “Just because I’m having a baby, doesn’t mean we’re going to get married any time soon. If at all.” Sydney still hadn’t bothered to glance at me, instead she kept her gaze on the menu. I waited for her to continue, but she wasn’t. “As long as you’re having Jensen’s baby, I’m sure he’s going to take care of you both.” She gives me a side-long look before whispering, “I know.” I didn’t get the chance to ask what was wrong since Rebecca came back from the restroom at that exact moment. We both straighten up at her return, unsure of how much she had heard. She was half wolf and had excellent hearing so there was definitely a chance she caught pieces of our conversation. And if she had, Rebecca never brought it up. Seeing the familiar iron gates at the Mitchell’s home was a relief. As Rebecca drove up the driveway, I felt my shoulders relax. I was just a few seconds away from seeing Grayson. He really had been busy because he never replied to my text. I tried not to worry about it too much. Rebecca pulled the car right in front of the main door and parked. The three of us got out, and the double doors opened before either of us had the chance to reach for the knob. I don’t know if I would ever get used to this. Eden stood on the other side of the door, a bright smile on her face. “Welcome home,” she greets us. “Thank you, Eden,” Rebecca says, her voice like honey. Grayson and Jensen walk in from the kitchen, casually arguing. Grayson was the first to notice us, his eyes meeting mine. The corners of his mouth tilt up. “Hello, boys,” Rebecca chirps. Grayson doesn’t say word as he’s already making his way towards us. Me, specifically. Automatically, my arms wrap around his torso, as he softly pecks my lips. We never got the chance to speak a word to each other. Sterling had come downstairs with a grim look on his face, his eyes searching the room until they land on who he was looking for. “Grayson, a word.”