Ties of Bad Love (Book Two)

Chapter One

                                                                                            Levi

           I watched as the love of my life looked at me as fear paralyzed her. My heart hammered in my chest from the sight of my broken girl staring back at me. I have broken her. Why did I have to f**k up everything good in my life? Let’s face it, it was inevitable. Samantha was too good for me and everyone saw it. She had a pure heart and wore it on her sleeve proudly. I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Love was nonexistent to me before her. There was too much bad s**t out there that had happened to prove otherwise. I had the love I so desperately wanted but was too damn stupid to admit that I needed it. She gave that to me, and I threw it away like it meant so little to me. 

           Her eyes filled with tears while her eyes showed raw, sheer, crippling emotion that would haunt me for the rest of my life. I had sunk to my knees begging her not to leave me, not now. She walked out the door with a small glance back over her shoulder. I to, had begun to cry, a feeling that was alien to me. The moment she walked out the door, I knew I had completely lost her. I cursed myself. Though I was pissed the hell off at Lizzie, this would have never happened if I would have said no to her. From the moment I met Samantha, I was entirely devoured by her. Life was complicated enough for me, after meeting her, life only became more complicated. Not in a bad way but in an exciting, kept me on my toes, kind of way. 

           Lizzie was behind me, placing her hand on my shoulder as if she felt bad for me. This girl could care less for me. She was only with me because I brought entertainment into her otherwise boring life. I was much younger when I first met her and honestly believed I was in love with her. Though she broke my heart, I believe now that I was never in love with her at all. I did not know what love truly was until Samantha. 

           “Get your f*****g hand off me,” I said in such a monotone voice. There was no emotion left to give this pathetic girl. 

           Samantha needed to know the whole story. It wasn’t like I had much choice to go along with this. Lizzie had something up her sleeve that would ultimately destroy Samantha. There would be no way I was going to let that happen. I didn’t care if she hated me for the rest of her life, at least I knew I was protecting her in a way.

           “Oh, don’t be so brooding. It wasn’t like the girl did not have it coming. You will always belong to me, Levi. If you won’t give me the time of day, I will make sure to go after what you love most. It didn’t take long to realize the thing you loved most was Samantha.”

           I had almost forgotten how crazy this chick was. When I was younger, it appealed to me, but now it was simply annoying. My legs were becoming numb from the position I was kneeling in, so I stood up with the intention of going after Samantha. By now she was probably almost home. Imagines of her running into the arms of Landon exasperated me. It was inexorable, that I knew for certain. It used to be Robbie who she would run off to, spilling everything that happened between us. It used to drive me crazy because I knew the way Robbie felt about her, but I could tell in her lovely doe eyes, that she did not see him in the same light. Landon was different. He was everything she needed and more. Landon was successful, wealthy, good looking, and could give her a promising future. Whereas I couldn’t see two days into my future. Maybe it would be best if I let her go and give her a chance to have a halfway decent life compared to the up and down one, she would have with me. The idea of anyone else touching her vexed me.

           “Go to hell, Lizzie. We are done! Whatever this little obsession you have over me, is finished.”

           Lizzie eyed me up and down hungrily. “You will be done when I say you are done. I am not going to give you the opportunity to run back to her. Besides do not forget what I can use against her. Would you really risk the downfall of the girl you love?”

           “No, I wouldn’t.” I sighed unable to do anything about this arrangement without hurting Samantha more than she was right now. All I could hope for would be that one day she would forgive me. I let my imagination run wild with thoughts of the future we could have had. I walked over to the door, not looking back as Lizzie was calling my name. I knew her father, Greg, must have had something to do with all this as well. He was a powerful man with more powerful connections. If I saw that bastard, I would be sure to show him to never f**k with me and what is mine again. I may not be able to touch Lizzie, but I sure could give Greg a run for his money. 

           Once I was back out into my car, I picked up my phone dialing her number. Samantha didn’t even let it ring, instead, she sent me straight to voicemail. What was I to do now? I had no idea if I should go back home and call it quits or if I should try and find a way to make Samantha understand that I had no choice to do this. Who was I kidding? Even after telling her about what a sadistic b***h Lizzie truly was, she still wouldn’t have anything to do with me. The phone reached her voicemail, so I decided to leave one with the small hope she would listen to it. “Baby, please call me back. You have no idea how sorry I am that you had to find out this way, but it doesn’t change a thing. Everything I ever said to you was real, everything I did for you was real, and every moment we shared up until this point was real. I know I am a d**k, and hard to get along with. But I love you, Samantha Taylor. I f*****g love you so much! Please give me a chance to talk to you about this. Let me explain to you what happened.” I ended the call, throwing my phone over into the passenger seat.

           Putting the car in drive, I knew exactly my next destination. My mother lived in this area and has been reaching out to me for a few weeks now. We have talked on and off, ending with me mostly hanging up on her. It was a long shot, but I didn’t know where else to go at this point. I picked up my phone again, dialing her number. It got to the last ring before she picked up.

           “Hello?”

           “Um, hi Lucy, it’s me, Levi. I was in California and was wondering if maybe we could meet up somewhere?”

           She gasped through the phone. “You are in California now?”

           “That’s what I said, didn’t I?” I didn’t mean to snap at her, but damn did I not already say that?

           “Sorry,” she sniffed. “What part are you in?”

           I went over the details of where I just left from and she proceeded to tell me to meet at a local bar. It most likely wasn’t the best idea for me to be drinking upon the first time meeting my mom since I was a child, but I needed the liquid that would drown away my sorrows. The liquid that would make the memory of her seem almost distant.

           Not fifteen minutes later, I was pulling into the bar. This was going to be a horrible idea. With my current mood, all it would take is one asshole to look at me the wrong way before I snapped. I was like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any minute, but I was trying to contain myself because I knew that’s what Samantha would want me to do. Walking into the bar, I spotted a short, dirty blonde, middle-aged woman sitting at the bar. She was somewhat recognizable from the photos my dad still kept of her hanging around the house. As I made my way over, she turned to give me a big smile. Her teeth were crooked and stained yellow. I was unable to hide my disgusted face.

           “Sorry, I should have made myself look a bit more presentable. There isn’t much I have for clothes.”

           “It’s fine, not like we are going to a high-class restaurant or anything.” After saying it, I immediately regretted it. She patted the barstool next to her as I proceed to sit down.

           The man behind the bar eyed me suspiciously. “You got ID kid?”

           “Thomas, it is okay, he is with me.” 

           The bartender shook his head. “Alight, what will it be?”

           “Strongest liquor you got.”

           “Coming right up.”

           Lucy couldn’t keep her eyes off me. I rolled my eyes seeing her shift in her chair to get a better angle of me.

           “Why did you want to meet now? After weeks of trying to get you to see me, you chose now to finally give me a chance. Why?”

           I stayed silent, picking my drink up and downing in one gulp. The instant burn from the cool liquid going down my throat was satisfying. Damn, it’s been too long since I had a decent drink like this.

           “Well?”

           She wasn’t going to let this go until I answered her. “A girl.” 

           “Okay. Tell me about this girl. Why does she have you in here drinking with your mother.”

           “You are not my mother. Let’s get one thing straight here. You may have given birth to me, but you have no right to be called my mother.”

           Lucy didn’t seem hurt by my words at all. She seemed…I don’t know…relieved almost. “Fair enough. So, tell me about this girl.”

           “I hurt her to the point she will never forgive me.” Saying the words out loud welcomed the pain back even stronger than before.

           “Are you in love with this girl?”

           “Samantha. Her name is Samantha. Yes, of course, I am in love with her. I’m not sure what that has to do with it. She is broken and I am the one that caused her to be so broken. I f**k up everything I touch, always mad at the world. There is no explanation for me being the way that I am. I just hate that I introduced her into my already f****d up world.”

           She rested her hand in mine. “Unfortunately, you get that from me. Your father was always a good man with an even greater heart. He fell in love with me and I him when we were very young. I was a bad influence on him, but he never seemed to be able to stay away no matter how many times I pushed him away.”

           Things started to make sense. My father was still in love with her even if he would not admit it. Ever since she left, he has not been able to move on from her, not that he hasn’t tried.

           “What happened between you two?” For some reason, I had a strong desire to know why they split up after many years of marriage. I had to know why it didn’t work out with them in hopes that I wouldn’t make the same mistake with Samantha.

           “We were from two entirely different worlds. As I said, he was the perfect gentleman. Always getting good grades, participating in various sports, and strong-willed unlike me. You would catch me hanging around the wrong crowd, getting arrested, drinking, doing drugs, and f*****g around in school. It would have never worked between us no matter how badly we wanted it to. Even as an adult, I was still into partying and getting my kicks, while he wanted to settle down. After I got pregnant, I tried to be a better woman for him and for you. One fight later, I lost all restraint I had and went back into old habits. Your dad caught me drinking again and kicked me out. Since then I haven’t been back to Arizona. Throughout the years, I reached out to him, but he refused to let me see you. I understand why.” She began to pick at the open sores on her arms. Great, she is a damn junkie.

           I stood up from my chair and began to walk toward the door, that was until I felt her reach out to stop me. “Where are you going?”

           “To f*****g numb the pain more than alcohol will.” I rolled my eyes in frustration. “To get another tattoo.”

           “Can I tag along?”

           I nodded as she stood up and followed me outside. It was still raining in the dark of night, but the rain never bothered me much. I continued walking on the sidewalk until I landed in front of a worn-down looking tattoo parlor. The neon sign on the front door that once read OPEN, now only reads OPN. The bell jingled along with the door frame as we walked in.

           A woman no older than thirty appeared from a room behind the counter. She was covered in tattoos, much like me but had piercings marking her face, much like my friends. She had black wavy hair that flowed naturally over her framed face. 

           “How can I help?”

           “Looking to get a tattoo. Why else would I be here?”

           “Follow me,” she said, paying no attention to my snappy attitude. I made sure to tell Lucy to stay back in the waiting room. 

           Two hours later and I was emerging from the room with my new neck tattoo. A tattoo that read We loved with a love that was more than love with vines surrounding it. The tattoo artist did a phenomenal job. By far this was one of my better tattoos. It may have been because I got it for her. To make sure that I remembered what we shared together even if I never saw her again.