Pornstar {MxM}

breakfast and breakups

Dawn chased away the brooding dark, streaks of blue seeping through visible cracks on the ceiling, directly on Reggie's face. He made no move to adjust his position, clearly unhappy and all too aware of his nudity. The aftermath of s*x with Beth last night left him in regret. And pain.

He never wanted it to happen. He'd sworn he'd break it off with her the next time she'd show up.

Which was yesterday. Breakup turned s*x.

Beth shifted beside him, taking most of the blanket with her and leaving him bare. There was an array of pillows which guilt had pushed Reggie to set up between them. In normal circumstances, they'd have laid, curled up in each other's arms but today was different. Reggie wasn't sure who was pulling away — him or her — or a bit of both.

“Good morning, Reg.” Beth mumbled dryly, shuffling the pillows to scoot closer to him. She twirled the forest of hairs on his chest, idly staring into the darkness. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah.” He replied gruffly, hoping it'd dissuade her in starting any post-coital bliss speech. He wasn't in the mood for a conversation. Talking wasn't going to solve things nor lead them anywhere good.

Last night was wierd. The thrilling spark, coupled with lustful passion was both suffocating and off-putting for Reggie.

Their relationship had been shaky these past few months. Even before Beth landed herself a hot job in Overton — while Reggie stayed back in Bristol City, working at the publishing firm — things had slipped into an uncomfortable semi-platonic state. Reggie saw her more as a friend with benefits, while Beth wanted something long-term, which Reggie couldn't give but didn't want to lose her. There was no denying it that she was the sole reason he got his s**t together and went out to work every f*****g day, and without her he'd be f****d. Not in the sloppy, disgustingly romantic way, but in an entirely logical sense.

His pals had all left Bristol after graduation, lucky enough they had an aunt or distant uncle who helped them get juicy appointments they were all excited about. But despite a degree in Computer Math, and belonging to a fairly well-to-do family with uncles in the States, Reggie had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Yes, being a paid proofreader and editor paid his bills, but that wasn't his life goal. That wasn't his childhood dream of coding and programming softwares and high model technology. He should be job hunting, filling applications and putting himself out there for better opportunities. But his life was frozen at a spot, and he was just too comfortable to build up the energy to try. To him it all seemed pointless.

When Beth came crashing into his world, she'd turned to his anchor in the sea of uncertainties. He was positive back then, that dating her was the best decision he'd ever made. But they couldn't be together forever if they simply wanted... other things and people.

She drew back on her butt to rest her back against the bed's headboard, pulling the blanket up to cover her bosom. She placed a hand on his chest, caressing it and he began drifting off into a dreamless space before her next words drove away slumber. “We need to talk.”

Reggie's stomach roiled. This was always how it ended. He hadn't heard those four words in months. “About what exactly?”

“We need to break up. This isn't just working anymore for me.”

Ouch.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“I'm sorry.”

There was no point trying to deny it. He'd felt it coming for days; the hasty kisses, forgetting to call and ask of each other the whole day, arguing over every little thing and that one time he'd hit her. The s****l spark had died off faster too and Reggie always felt like he was banging a wall whenever they had s*x. After years of working his way through girl after girl, he'd been relieved to slow down, stop the routine and focus on building something serious. He'd had high hopes that they'd work out, but without the flame, it was difficult to maintain his interest.

Her new job had been the perfect excuse to see less of her, and then when she came around she'd always receive calls from an unknown number she saved as Paul. If his guess was correct, this breakup was meant to put an official label on her relationship with Paul. He'd known her to be the enthusiastic one in their relationship but weekends whizzed past and no effort was put in place to rekindle the dying flame. It had become perfunctory even on a peaceful night.

“I hoped that if we got out of each other's space, give ourselves some time to grow independently and figure out if we still wanted the same things, there might be a chance. After all, absence makes the heart fonder. But our passions are different now. We both want things with other people.”

Reggie's face burned in sheer embarrassment. “I think that was obvious.”

Beth's hand lingered down his navel to circle around it, oblivious to the lurch in his stomach. “I'm so sorry Reg. I tried. I really tried and believed for a while that you're the one. But I don't want a man who always has a semi for me each time we have s*x. I need something real.”

Not able to withstand the humiliation further, he spat out bitterly. “Yeah. You're right. We should probably call it quits.” Saying that out loud made him feel a little less ashamed. Never had he anticipated getting dumped by a girl.

“I'm so sorry.”

“You've said that before. It's fine.”

It was stupid to mourn over a relationship that died months ago, but Reggie still felt like a fool anyway, angry at himself for letting her down, disappointed for not making things work and losing an angel. But under those emotions lay a strong wave of fear. Unacknowledged desires and wants swirled, threatening to wash him onshore in a place he didn't want to go.

He gently removed her hand from his stomach and sat up, scratching his head. “What time is it?”

She picked up her phone and peered closer. “Nearly eight. I booked a twelve o'clock flight.”

Reggie wasn't surprised, though that was earlier than she usually left. He knew she'd discussed things with Paul and came over this weekend with the intention of splitting up.

“I'll go make us breakfast.” he got out of bed and pulled on some sweatpants and socks. Winter was a few days away and the atmosphere was beginning to get chilly, plus the house he shared with three other flatmates was never warm because they tried to keep the heating low to pay their bills.

“I'll sure miss having breakfast in bed.” She said lightly.

“Then it's my duty to make this last one your most memorable. Be back in fifteen.”