chapter 1

1577 Words
I walked into class; taking my seat in the front near the window I rested my hand under my chin. Looking out of the window I saw most of the pack teenagers sitting under the huge apple tree in the front of the school. There they are laughed and had fun with one another, enjoying the sun beaming down on their skin and each other’s blissful company, while I sat all by myself, in this cold classroom. I was all alone in this big world. I don't think anyone really knows what it's like to be lonely. They don't know how it can make one feel so unworthy. Not having friends or company is a strange feeling. It's just you against the world. It's always been like that from birth I was the kid no one wanted to hang out with. I wasn't awkward or strange, absolutely normal. I think I just gave of an aura which made people want to stay away from me. I really did try fitting in, I thought I did. I dressed and acted just like everyone else yet they shunned me. I never even got bullied just ignored and left out. I always tried to make myself think of the positive factors in the matter as I had my two loving parents that I adored and vise versa but when they died five years ago I just gave up smiling, laughing, trying and thinking positive. My adopted parents lost their daughter around the same time I lost my parents and so our Alpha thought it would be a great idea for them to adopt me, I got parents and they got a daughter. It was such a fast and forced decision before both of us even realized what had happened boom I was a daughter again and they were parents. I know they tried to be good parents but I just couldn't connect with them like I did with my parents. I hardly spoke to them at first but after spending four and a half years with them I became more comfortable with them. They are sweet and caring but I know they will never be able to replace the ones I lost but at least they try. I became a hard bitter person. I just didn't know how else to express the raging emotions that swirl inside of me. There like an oceans storm, dark, thunderous, terrifying, they crash inside of me like waves gone wild, high and dangerous. So I began to wear black and had a sudden urge for ear piercing and a lot of rings. I didn't dye my hair random colors or get crazy tattoos though. I simply wore black. I just felt I could communicate my feelings through the way I dressed and acted. They were all bottled up inside of me and having no one to talk to and not having the strength or energy to talk to a therapist I let them out through my appearance. I wore black eyeliner most days and it made my brown eyes pop and gave me a more threatening look. It also matched my natural blackish brown hair which was a total coincidence.  Some people gave me weird looks. I didn't blame them with my black leather signature jacket and black skinny jeans with a random top and plenty of earrings and rings, topped with black hair and dark eyeliner. I would be wary of me too. I was a total opposite to the other werewolves. They were all pretty normal with just a different shade of elegance and beauty. They were different and gave of an invisible aura of power and difference. They were all cherry and gay while I was just well me. Most of the wolves in my pack had found their soul mates which filed a missing part of them and gave them an extra boost of happiness and meaning. I on the other hand hadn’t, no surprise there. I wouldn't want a soul mate anyway. I know I may seem hypocritical complaining about how awful and lonely my life is, so why not want someone to come and fulfill me but the thing is, I wouldn't want to suck my soul mates happiness away and have them have to put up with me and all my drama. I knew I upset my adopted parents with the fact that I could never fit in and make friends even though they never said anything I could see it in their eyes." Why can't my little girl make friends and fit in?” I made my adopted parents loose two daughters as I could never be their happy typical daughter. I can't even make friends so how am I supposed to make my soul mate happy? I bet he'll get one look at me and shun me just like everyone else. I was brought out of my thoughts when the teacher walked in and began his English lesson. I listened intensely as I absolutely loved English it was my favorite subject and my only favorite, I loathed the rest of them. It was lunch time and I walked to the roof of the school where I have my lunch every day. I love the view from here you can see a huge chunk of the town. We lived in a quiet little town just on the outskirts of a big city. After school had ended I began my walk home. My adopted parents offered to buy me a car but I declined. There was just something about nature that I loved. It was not only because I was part wolf, most of the werewolves have cars. I just love the smell of the fresh, minty woods, the sun shining down on me, the way the wind whips at my skin. It was pure bliss, it gave me time to think and breathe, to be away from the icy glares from people and pack drama. Our house was in a complex but the houses were spread out pretty wide. You wouldn't even think you had a neighbor that's how private it was. Each house had an opening to the woods and a drive way. The Alphas house was at the very end of all the houses and was a quick drive away or an even shorter run. Entering the house I was struck by the smell of chicken, "Gingers cooking again”, I thought. Ginger was my adopted mother and she absolutely loved cooking and baking. I used to help cook and bake with her and began to enjoy myself immensely. I learnt quite a bit as well. I shrugged of my flimsy jacket, threw my school bag on the floor and kicked of my shoes. I entered the kitchen and sat down on the stool in front of the granite work top. 'Hey, Ginger, I'm home! What are you making I'm starved and I smell chicken.' I said as I walked into the kitchen, sniffing like a loon with my nostrils in the air. "Tori, you’re home! I'm making a chicken curry." "Yum!" "Mhhm, so how was school?"Ginger asked stirring a pot with chicken inside of it. "Same old same old, suck-ish as usual," I said "It gets better, Hun." "Highly doubt that, almost twelve years of school and it still sucks. Nothing will ever change."I wasn't just talking about school but my life in general. I'll always be a loner, an outcast, and unwanted. Ginger just cast her blue eyes up at me from the pot and gave me a sad, pitiful look, how I loathe those looks. I was seriously going to leave but I decided to eat first then lock myself up in my sanctuary. Chris my adopted dad was third in command in our pack and worked late every evening with the Beta and Alpha, so he would only come later. I rarely saw him as he came home late and awoke early to run and do other stuff that I don't know about. He worked extra hard and he does more than he should but he enjoys it so I can't judge him. After stuffing my face I went up to my room which used to be our attic, before you think I should call child welfare it's not what you think. I wanted it to be my room so I decorated it and turned it into my own little woman cave. There's a big round window that opens and a couch underneath it. I love sitting there and just thinking and reading. My room is a dark purple with white decor and other random stuff. I have a desk in the corner and a walk in closet which used to be a spare little room with no purpose what so ever. I have a bathroom but it's opposite my room in the corridor. The best and most important part of my room is my bed. It's the most comfortable thing in this universe and my portal out of this world and into my own dream land. It's a king size, extreme I know but that's how I wanted it. It's also got a net thing, curtain that I can pull over my bed and have complete privacy. To say the least I love my room more than anything and would live in it forever if I could. Okay I'm being dramatic. 
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