Ain't Meant For LOVE..!

Out of Blue Appearance

“You little B**ch! You wanna seduce other men? Is that why you always begged to go to college? Tell me...” he said fiercely throwing me towards the wall and gripping my throat.

“No! That’s not what the reason is and you know it as well. What happened all of a sudden? Can you tell me what went wrong? Please let go, it’s hurting!” ignoring the tears brimming in my eyes’ corner, i looked pleadingly but he doesn’t seem to budge from it. I tried pushing him away but he gripped the throat more tightly, leaving me no air to breathe. His other hand on my right shoulder, making sure I cannot escape him.

“Mom, what else was she doing there?” and then I forced my eyes open to watch behind his shoulder. There she was, sneering towards me at his back and then spoke with sadness in her voice (But the smirk still present on her face), “Son, I didn’t mean to tell you this, please leave her or else she will harm me again. I cannot deal with her anymore. Don’t do this please, i will leave this house and go so that you guys can live happily as she wants.”

Then it strike me, of course! Its all happening because of this lady, my so-called Mother-in-Law. She fed lies to her son and as usual, his son behaved in the manner they wanted. He was always their puppet who acted upon their wishes regardless of the emotions, dreams and wishes he hold.

I pushed back my tears, tried making him sane but nothing worked. His father joined in the plan, the grip on my throat becoming more firm and then a stinging pain came on my right cheek. I don’t know what happened later, as all i saw was darkness before the little yellow, red and white dots disappeared in the back of my eyes.

I welcomed death...

It was easy this way, with no further pain, torture, violence and heart break...

_________________________________________________________________________

“No.....!!!” I jolted up screaming and searching around myself. The darkness prevailed but there was nobody in the room except me. I was in my bedroom rather than the in-laws house Thank god! It was just a dream. I felt relieved but the lump in my throat remained. I looked at the time “3:20 AM”...

Ever since i escaped from my marital house, i had such nightmares. The more i try to move on in my life, the more memories flashed in my mind during sleep.

I tried comforting myself but failed, so I started listening songs which even didn’t help me. Then i brushed my teeth and changed into my joggers and went for a run. It was cold outside but peaceful. I breathed in the fresh air and plugged my earphones, started my playlist and walked aimlessly. The memories coming back to my mind, depressing me and pushing me into deep thoughts and i didn’t realize that at this time i was sprinting which turned into running.  I didn’t care where i was running to as i was battling with my own emotions and humiliations faced in the past. The pain in my heart was far more than that in the legs now. I slowed when the chest constricted and squatted on the ground as i tried to push away my tears.

“Hey, you alright? “, said a deep, husky voice in front me.

It brought me back to my senses. Getting a hold of myself, i stood up and slowly faced the person standing there. Blue color eyes (or was it green?), messy black hair, flushed face showing pure concern, was standing a handsome man in his grey joggers and grey t-shirt with red-headphones hung on the neck and a fitbit on the wrist. I shyly looked away trying to focus somewhere so that he doesn’t see the tears in my eyes.

“hey! You okay? Do you need some help?” his hands hovered near my shoulders as if hesitating of his next move.

“Nah! I am all good. Just trying to catch my breath, that's it.” I said.

He nodded his head still trying to search for something in my face so i looked to my left to avoid his gaze. I know he wasn’t satisfied with my reply but decided to drop it there.

“Okay, if you say so. “ After a while he sighed deeply and with a genuine smile he said “fine then, i will go now. Take care and don’t push yourself for the workout”.

I started to walk in the opposite direction but stopped and looked into his eyes, giving a little smile thanking him and bidding my farewell.

It was 5:30 AM when i got back to my apartment. I loved my place. Although I lived alone but I still had a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment to live in because I have always been this way; liking space to myself as well. I always thought of the times when someone might want to crash in here. I got it painted with dark grey and light in the living room, royal blue and white in my room, golden and lemon yellow in the spare bedroom and the kitchen had impressions of coffee and tea and chocolates. Grabbing a bottle i gulped down the water like a camel and put the bottle back after refilling it. Taking a towel i stepped inside the bathroom and started humming a tune to myself. Music always brought some sense in me.

After the bath, i felt refreshed and walked out of the bathroom to the closet to solve the biggest mystery of my life. Yeah! Choosing clothes is the biggest fight i have to survive everyday. I mean i am not crazy, but i have a wardrobe with each and every style i love (Mostly professional ones) with a slight range of variety that i may try but i always end up picking up the same few clothes with the USUAL style.

I love wearing modest, simple yet classy, elegant clothes that is comfortable and i prefer cotton and khadi rather than polyester or hosiery which limits my style. I am not so into fashion or trends and my clothes are loose than regular fit (casuals appear like baggy) but people find it cool. I picked up a white blouse with black checks and floral black collars with 3/4th sleeves. I matched it with a black high waist jeans and black converse.

I enjoyed my job as it gave a decent salary to live here in new York. i can pay my bills on time, live the way I want which includes buying new gadgets, foot wears, clothes and other stuff. But at times I have to watch out my expenses too. I cannot live like a king you know. I enjoy making my own meals as I still prefer my Indian cuisine. Well this and that I am a pure vegetarian so I hesitate going into cafe that offer non-veg also. I don’t take egg as well so its really a hard time finding a cafe with pure veg. Specially when you don’t have the 'Green Dot' sign on products i.e. a ‘square enclosing a dot in it’ which helps knowing the presence of egg in the item if it is red in color, as in India. But at times like today, when I am not into the mood, I go to a selected few cafes to grab a quick bite.

I like my hair color. It is naturally a mix. of black to dark brown to light brown which appears little burgundy under sunlight. I styled it parting from side and ruffled it up a bit before pinning a few strands in the right side giving it a wavy pattern. Not to forget, i already have long wavy hair that reaches up to my lower back. I always wanted straight hair but i guess it is just fine. After getting dressed i picked up my white Louis Vuitton horizon wrist watch and gave a quick glance in the mirror smiling to the image and winking. Action time!!!

I quickly grabbed my breakfast and coffee on the way, leisurely sipping it away and watching people at the cafe. I loved people-watching, observing them and paying attention to all the little things that happens. This helps me in analyzing my situation and other people’s P.O.V.

“Excuse me, mind scooting a little”.   

“Hey Ed look at you huh.. All bulked up! Whom are you tryin’a impress bud?” i hugged him tightly grinning from ear to ear as he patted my back hugging me tightly.

“Did it work then?” he asked staring into my eyes, pulling me away but not letting my shoulders go.

I laughed and hit him on his thighs earning a chuckle from him. Without asking he sipped my coffee and made a face “How come you don’t like sugar?”

“Dumbo, there IS sugar in it. Its just a li'l amount than normal...” and snatching back my coffee cup i said, “...and by the way THIS IS MINE. Get your own if it’s disgusting!”. I picked my cellphone and wallet and started walking.

“wait for me cupcake!” Edward called out.

-‘Arghhh! How many times should I have to tell me not to call me that, i***t!’- I kept walking rolling my eyes.   

He came slipping his right arm over my shoulder and sipping his coffee and narrated his vacation stories. We got into my car laughing madly and not knowing there was somebody keeping an eye on us.