The Dark Lands

Chapter 2

2

There’s a long moment where Becky’s question seems to echo through the air.

“How will you save us when the Viper releases Lucifer?”

The studio audience waits breathlessly. Becky holds her clipboard so tightly, I’m shocked it doesn’t snap.

All eyes are on me.

Thank goodness I spent my formative years sneaking out of ghoul-school. I have a deep reservoir of ways to leave sucky situations like this one. Lifting my wrist, I point to my non-existent watch. “Oh, my. Look at the time! Lincoln and I have to rush and investigate all this. It’s been so nice seeing you, Becky. Let’s do this again.”

“But-but,” Becky stutters. “You need to share your plan for taking down the Viper and saving us all from certain death at the hands of Lucifer. It was supposed to be a Good Morning Purgatory exclusive.”

Lincoln wraps his arm around my shoulder and guides me to stand. “We’ll get back to you.”

What follows is a lot of pushing through crowds and avoiding of direct eye contact. At one point, I’m pretty sure that Perky grabs my wrist and tries to drag me back on camera. I might have tripped her with my tail.

Okay, I totally tripped her with my tail.

Finally, Lincoln and I make it into the limo we have waiting outside. For the record, I’ve never been happier for the invention of tinted windows. Once the door slams shut, I turn to Lincoln.

“What the Hell was that?” My mouth starts moving without too much guidance from my brain. This happens when I’m both sleep-deprived and freaked out. “My mother is the President of Purgatory … Saw her this morning … No warning about Lucifer. How does she not know the Viper’s trying to free him? And my best friend Cissy is our Senator of Diplomacy. Hello? She has the best spy network in Purgatory and she was sitting in the same freaking building. Again, no intel. How is she not aware of this?”

Lincoln opens a water bottle and takes a slow sip. He won’t reply. We both know I’m not done yet.

“And Becky says that the Viper somehow got into Lucifer’s prison and poisoned a guard? And that happened somehow? Please! We both know how it works when Lucifer is involved. His magical crap turns up. It all started when Lucifer’s Orb stopped me from sending souls to Heaven or Hell. Then Lucifer’s Coin appeared. That thing could’ve opened a portal out of Hell and let Armageddon escape. Don’t get me wrong—we took care of both situations—but that was a total pain in the ass.” I lean back onto the leather couchie thing in the back of the limo. “Okay, I’m better now.”

Lincoln raises his bottle. “Want some water?”

“Only if you run it over coffee grounds.”

Lincoln presses the intercom button. “Please take us to Princeton Alley and drive through a Starbucks on the way.”

Yes, even in Purgatory, we have Starbucks. Go us.

A note about Princeton Alley. In Purgatory, all the yuckiest places have the fanciest names. Princeton Alley is a little strip of nothing in downtown Purgatory City. Walker has a secret Pulpitum transfer station hidden in there. I wasn’t lying about having to jet off for a meeting. Lincoln and I are supposed to meet Walker in Princeton Alley and then visit some farm together. The details are a little sketchy, but that’s how Walker rolls.

Which brings me back to Walker.

I try to muster up some of my previous freaky energy, but I’ll need caffeine for that. “I forgot about Walker,” I say in a super calm voice. “What’s he doing tracking people who jail Lucifer, let alone giving that intel to Becky Tizzle?”

“We’ll find out soon enough.”

My eyes widen. “Becky Tizzle! We just speed-walked off her show.” Leaning forward, I start fiddling with the controls of our in-limo television set. If being called Scala Mother is one of the nasty parts of my job, then in-limo TV is one of the sweetest. I flip the dial to Good Morning Purgatory. The cameras are focused on Cissy.

My best friend looks fabulous in her purple Senatorial robes. She’s so camera ready, it isn’t funny. Every time I see a replay of myself on TV, I have a chunk of hair sticking out of my head like an antennae. But Cissy looks amazing with her blonde ringlets hanging perfectly to her shoulders. Her golden retriever tail wags happily behind her. Cissy loves TV as much as the cameras adore Cissy.

“As Senator of Diplomacy, I have a unique view on Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Antrum, and the Dark Lands.”

Becky leans forward. “Tell us about the Viper’s crimes in other parts of the after-realms.”

Ugh. Becky is still riding the Viper train.

“Well.” Cissy taps her cheek. “The Viper recently stole some ancient books from the Dark Lands. The Senatorial guard also reported some of their body armor went missing.”

“We received that news months ago,” says Becky. “Those crimes were early on in the Viper’s career. The body armor was standard issue for the Senatorial guard. The books were far more interesting and rare. Show the covers, Fred.” The screen fills with images of different covers. There’s Magic And Canopic Jars, Lucifer’s Creations, Seraphim Secrets, Ghoul Portals, and Ancient Poisons.

I’m so enthralled by the TV show, I completely miss our limo hitting the Starbucks drive-thru. But it did. Now Lincoln hands me a venti mocha.

Ahh, sweet caffeine, chocolate, and sugar. How I love you.

I return my focus to Cissy, Becky, and Good Morning Purgatory.

“Look at these book titles,” says Becky. “Is it possible that ghouls have created an evil alliance with the angels?” If Becky’s eyeballs were shotgun laser beams, Cissy would have red dots on her forehead.

Becky so thinks she has Cissy in her gun sights.

Not gonna happen.

“The purpose of shows like this one is to share hard information,” says Cissy smoothly. “Not speculate and scare viewers.”

Becky opens and closes her mouth. No words come out. It’s awesome.

Back in the limo, I raise my fist. “That’s it, Cissy!”

“She has such a gift with the camera,” adds Lincoln.

“As fate would have it,” continues Cissy, “I have something real to share with you about angels and ghouls.” My bestie smiles sweetly. “Can you run the video I brought?”

“Of course,” says Becky.

The television now plays video of a new statue being erected before a towering building made of glass. That structure is the Citadel where angels are trained in warfare. My father is the angel’s General, so the Citadel is one his favorite spots in Heaven. The white marble statue depicts a tall ghoul in angel’s robes. Under one arm, the ghoul carries a heavy book. His other hand is raised high, as if making a point to his audience.

I can’t believe what I’m seeing. “That’s Walker’s brother!”

Lincoln grins. “Yes, that’s Drayden for certain. I heard they were making a statue in his honor.”

The television displays images of the towering statue, all from different angles. Cissy’s voice sounds over the pictures. “Drayden was the first ghoul ever accepted into the Citadel for angelic warriors. And why? He wrote the definitive work on angelic flight and field strategy. His theories were used in the Battle of the Gates, when the archangel Xavier defeated Armageddon.”

The camera cuts back to a close-up of Cissy. “This is what we should think of when we consider angels and ghouls. Not focus on the worst about our neighbors, but on the best of what we can all achieve.”

I swear, I can hear thousands of quasis across Purgatory letting out a sigh at the end of that speech.

“Cissy is so going to be the next President of Purgatory,” I say.

“Quite,” agrees Lincoln. “And we’ve arrived at Princeton Alley.”

I chug the rest of my mocha and grab the door handle. Lincoln doesn’t move. “Are you still coming?”

Lincoln shakes his head. “I’d like to send out some messages; see what I can discover about these rumors regarding Lucifer. Once I’m done, I’ll meet up with you and Walker as soon as possible. There’s a Pulpitum station not far from the farm that we’re touring.”

“Great idea.” Leaning over, I brush a gentle kiss across his lips. “See you soon.”

With that, I return my attention to Princeton Alley and the mountain of secrets that always seem to follow my honorary older brother Walker.

One of these days, I’ll get him to blab all of them.