Tears of love

3. Discouraging future.

CHAPTER 3: Discouraging Future.

I hold the basket tightly in my hands as I knock five times on Jeremy’s bedroom door. I don’t know if what I’m about to do will work, but I genuinely hope it does. Jer’s been so down ever since the whole thing with Sabrina happened—I just want to give him a bit of joy in the middle of all that sadness he seems to carry in his heart.

When he opens the door, I’m greeted by his freshly woken-up face. I smile and walk in without asking for permission.

“Rora, I don’t feel like doing anything today…”

“You’re not gonna die over a girl, Jeremy.” I hide the basket behind my back and grin. “Sit on the bed.”

He just stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“Sit,” I repeat. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

He finally gives in and sits.

“What’s going on?”

“Close your eyes.”

Jeremy lets out a sigh but obeys anyway. Once I make sure he can’t see anything, I pull the tiny Beagle puppy out of the basket and place it on his lap.

“Surprise!” I shout, watching his face closely so I don’t miss a thing.

Jeremy’s eyes fly open the second he feels something moving on his legs. He freezes, his hands hanging stiffly at his sides, as if he has no idea what to do.

“You got me a dog?”

I nod eagerly, but my smile fades when his lips press into a thin line.

“What?” I ask, fearing he doesn’t like it.

He scratches the back of his head, looking uncomfortable.

Oh, no.

“I don’t like dogs.”

“Don’t be an old man.” I roll my eyes and set the basket down on the floor. Sitting beside him, I take the puppy into my hands. “Dogs are man’s best friend—didn’t you know that?”

The little pup looks up at me with sleepy eyes and then yawns, so I casually lay him down on Jeremy’s bed to nap.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Jeremy yells, startling me.

“Are you blind? I’m putting him to sleep,” I say obviously. “Can’t you see he’s tired?”

“Not on my bed!” He reaches out to move him, but I smack his hands away.

“Leave him! Your bed’s huge; there’s room for both of you. It’s not like he’s gonna kick you off or something.” I move the puppy to the corner, near the wall so he won’t fall. “Guess what I named him.”

When I glance at Jeremy, he’s making a face of disgust, eyes fixed on the puppy.

“What’d you name him?” he asks flatly, lying back on the bed carefully so he doesn’t touch the cute little thing.

“I named him Jeremy,” I sing.

His eyes go wide, and I can’t help but enjoy the view of that deep blue.

“Oh, for f**k’s sake, Rora—you named him after me?” He sounds incredulous.

What’s so weird about that?

“Shhh.” I throw a pillow at his face. “You’ll wake up Jery.”

“Jesus Christ, Aurora,” he groans, rubbing a hand down his face. “You’re insane.”

I shrug and sit beside him without a care. Jer looks from me to the dog, then back to me, and shakes his head with a faint smile.

“I can help you take care of him,” I say casually, inspecting my nails.

“Helping me isn’t an option—it’s mandatory. He’s gonna be more yours than mine, and we both know it… seriously, butterfly, you’re nuts.”

“Does that mean you’ll keep him?” I ask curiously.

He opens his mouth, then closes it again, finally nodding with a grimace. I squeal and throw myself at him in a big hug. Jeremy laughs, his arms wrapping around my waist.

“I knew that under all that cold exterior lies a sweet, soft heart,” I say, cupping his face and peppering quick kisses all over it, making him laugh even more.

“You’re drooling all over me,” he says, pure amusement in his tone.

“You love it when I drool on you,” I whisper, trying to get up, but his hands tighten around my waist, keeping me on top of him.

I frown in confusion, but he just gives me a shy smile.

“I like having you close,” he says absentmindedly, and when the words sink in, his eyes widen. “I mean—uh—you know, you’re you and I…”

I laugh softly at his nervousness.

“Yeah, I get it,” I say for him. “But don’t you think this position is kinda uncomfortable?”

“Doesn’t matter.” His arms tighten around me. “You know you’re the only one who can calm me down.”

I know.

“What happened with Sabrina yesterday?” I ask, resting my head on his chest. I’m surprised to feel how fast his heart is beating.

“This morning, everything was fine. She said she needed to talk to me about something important, and that she’d tell me after she met with my dad. Remember I told you she had to talk to him?”

I nod against his chest.

“When I went to see her later, she told me everything,” he says distantly, his mind clearly replaying it all. “She met a guy where she’s doing her internship. Said she doesn’t want to hurt me and would rather end things before she cheats on me.”

He lets out a bitter laugh.

“So… she didn’t actually cheat on you?”

“No, not really. But she wants to give that guy a chance,” he murmurs distractedly, his fingers drawing soft patterns on my waist.

I feel a bit relieved. I knew she wouldn’t cheat on him. I just can’t understand why she’d end years of a relationship for a guy she barely knows.

“I can’t believe she—”

“—ended things with me for someone she just met?” he finishes, reading my mind. “That’s exactly what I asked her.”

“And what did she say?”

“That’s the thing. I didn’t even understand what she meant—it made no f*****g sense.” He sighs heavily. “She said we weren’t meant to be because I was never one hundred percent in the relationship.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” He chuckles bitterly, and I can feel the movement in his chest. “Can you believe that? I guess she just used it as an excuse. You know I was devoted to her, Rora. I never looked at another girl. Except when hanging out with you or the guys, all my time was hers.”

I think about it for a moment.

“You never argued?” I lift my head, resting my chin on his chest.

“We never argued about anything.”

“And she didn’t act different lately?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Everything was fine. Normal.”

I can tell he’s sinking deeper into his thoughts, so I quickly change the subject.

“What did your dad say yesterday? Why did he want to see you?”

“What I told you he would—he wants me to take over the company,” he says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“That’s amazing, Jeremy!” I exclaim with a smile.

“Yeah…” His voice sounds unsure.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s just… never mind.” He shakes his head.

“It’s not nothing. Tell me,” I insist.

His eyes study me carefully.

“What if I screw it up? What if my dad’s wrong about me? What if…?”

I click my tongue and shake my head.

“Don’t say that. You’ll do great, I know it.”

“Why are you so sure?”

“Because I know you, and I trust you.” I close my eyes again, resting against his chest. “Your grades are perfect, and honestly, there’s no one better than you for the job.”

“I don’t know…” His breath brushes my hair, and I realize that if I looked up, our lips would probably touch.

“We all feel scared when we start something new, Jeremy.”

He doesn’t reply.

Then, very slowly, his fingers slip under my shirt, brushing against my bare skin.

I freeze for a second.

“There’s a new club opening tonight,” he says distractedly, as if completely unaware of what his hand is doing. Jer and I have always been affectionate, but never like this. Never.

“Yeah,” I manage to say, my voice trembling. I take a breath before adding, “Tyler told me to invite you—that was the other surprise.”

“Oh, yeah?” His tone turns amused.

“Yeah.” I laugh nervously. “Wanna go? You could use a night out. I mean, it’s rare enough for my brother to let me go dancing.” I sigh, remembering how strict Tyler is about nightlife. “Come on, let’s go. You’ll clear your head.”

“Alright, Rora,” he agrees softly.

I’m not sure he realizes it, but his touch is making me seriously nervous.

His fingers trace lines along my back, each one going higher.

“Jeremy…” I whisper when his hands reach the edge of my bra, his fingertips carefully tracing my skin.

His touch feels so warm.

“Mmm?”

“What are you doing?” I swallow hard, my pulse racing.

His hand stills for a moment, then keeps moving as if nothing strange were happening.

We’ve always trusted each other, but not like this.

“I don’t know,” he murmurs softly. “I just… didn’t know your skin was this soft.”

I close my eyes and tell myself it’s fine. Nothing weird is happening.

It’s just Jeremy… touching my bra.

“Aunt Anne was worried about you yesterday,” I say quickly, trying to bring him back to reality.

“I know.” His hand slides to my side, and I squeak when I feel where he’s headed.

“Jeremy, don’t push it…” I say breathlessly.

He seems to snap out of it and immediately moves his hands to my hair, stroking it instead. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of my head.

“My mom’s gonna freak out when she sees the dog,” he says, clearing his throat and changing the subject.

I try to steady my breathing.

“I’ll convince her. You’ll see, Jery’s gonna be the joy of this house.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure she’ll let him stay, honestly.”

“Oh, shut up. I know what I’m doing.” I climb off him and sit at his side, reaching for his hand. He looks at me with that special softness in his eyes.

“Thanks for this.”

“Don’t mention it,” I say lightly.

“No, really.” He squeezes my fingers. “I’ve been a mess these days. Even my mom’s been avoiding me. But you… you’ve always been there for me, Rora. I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and just nod, smiling quietly.

I wonder if it’ll always be like this—me being the one who’s always there for him, the one he turns to while he moves on with his life… and I just stay here, in the corner, watching it all go by while I sigh for a boy who’ll never see me.

I sigh softly.

The signs are discouraging.