Collateral Damage |+18|

5. Why did you hire me?

5. Why did you hire me?

Defne.

Levi is waiting for me at my cubicle the next day, which for some reason doesn’t surprise me. Amazingly, I manage to evade him for a few hours, but eventually he grows tired, and by mid-morning, he comes straight toward me without hesitation. I think I know him well enough to understand that he’s going to put me in a dilemma over what happened yesterday.

"Not here," I say, looking around and pointing at the obvious.

"Come," he takes my hand and drags me down the hallway until we slip into a small janitor’s closet. "Alright, start."

"Was this necessary, Levi?" I ask, gesturing around the cramped space.

"Matheo Slade has something for you."

"Levi…"

"And I’m pretty sure last night he plotted my murder because he thought I was interested in you," he whispers, bringing his face close to mine. "Defne, do you realize the rumors that would spread if someone found out about this?"

"No one has to find out."

"That man seems to forget everything when it comes to you. What happened yesterday," he points out, "how he so carelessly prevented me from taking you home, not caring at all that he’d be exposing himself in front of me, is proof that this is out of control, Defne."

"What am I supposed to do?" I whisper back, swallowing the lump in my throat, because this is worse than he realizes. Matheo Slade isn’t just my boss; he’s also the man my father wants to destroy. And if rumors about us reach his ears, I’ll only be giving him more ammunition to keep using me however he wants.

"Def, if this goes wrong, Matheo has all the power to ruin your career, you know that?"

"He wouldn’t do something t—"

"You don’t really know him. Not really."

The worst part is that I do know: I know that with a simple snap of his fingers, he could destroy everything I’ve worked for so far. But how the hell do I get out of this? Quitting isn’t an option, and resisting this magnetic force that grows stronger between us seems impossible. No matter how hard I try to remind myself that I hate him, that this enmity between us has a solid foundation, he touches me, and I forget all the reasons why I shouldn’t give in.

"Don’t tell anyone about last night, please?" I ask, looking at him with pleading eyes.

"Of course not, but you have to be careful, Defne," he reminds me. "I’ve been working here for years, and Matheo Slade has been nothing but robotic—a man who keeps everyone a hundred meters away. This weakness he has for you? It shows, Defne. It shows in a way you won’t be able to hide."

We share a long look until Levi sighs and says in an incredibly soft voice, "Be careful. I’d hate to see you with a broken heart, Defne."

"Why are you like this with me? I’m not the friendliest person in the world. In fact, I think I’ve been pretty prickly with you."

"You remind me of someone," he says warmly. "And you’re undoubtedly a good person, reserved, but good. And before you ask, no," he smiles sideways, almost teasingly when he adds, "I’m not interested in you, much less after last night. I’m not suicidal, sweetheart; I don’t want Matheo Slade as my enemy. But I’ve got your back, alright? If you need anything, I’m here."

I squeeze his hand in thanks, finally understanding what Kass sees in him to keep him close. Beneath that ego, Levi is loyal and protective—qualities I value, making me feel backed up in the mess my life has become.

As I open the door, Levi lets me go first, and such is my luck—our luck—that I bump into a hard chest I recognize immediately. I would never forget that scent; I think it’s already impregnated in me, invading me from the inside.

"I was looking for you," he says softly, and I detect a hint of what could be concern in his voice.

Then he sees Levi coming out behind me, and his face transforms into a mask so cold it could compete with the North Pole.

He’s so volatile it unsettles me.

I swallow and take a step back, needing space from all the emotions flooding me. Since he entered my life, I’ve been living a tumult of feelings I hadn’t felt before. It’s like my orbit went out of control, and I’m living without gravity, because now a new center has settled—and that center is him, pushing and dragging me against my will.

Matheo looks from Levi to me with such lethality it takes my breath away, and even more when he growls:

"Follow me."

I glance around, grateful that we’re alone, and with no other option, I follow, leaving Levi behind.

The moment I step into his office and close the door softly behind me, Matheo turns to face me and pins me in place with that penetrating gaze that could make the most powerful kings kneel.

"The typography and pantone of the designs you sent me this morning are incorrect."

Wait…

"What?"

"I’m not going to repeat myself, Defne."

"But…" I look at him, confused. "I…"

"I understand it’s your first time working at a company, but, damn it, Defne, you can’t just do whatever the hell you want—" I shiver at the brusqueness of his tone. "The clients gave you some freedom for changes, but a design had already been approved, and you did exactly the opposite of what was established."

"No…"

"If you wanted to change everything, you should have first asked your superiors for approval, not do whatever the hell you felt like…"

"I did exactly what Scarlett told me to do," I say, raising my voice so he hears me. "She’s the one who got client approval for the latest concepts that were needed. I did what I was told to do. Nothing more."

"Are you trying to make me believe this is Scarlett’s fault?" he asks, a smug little smirk on his lips. "She’s been working on my team for years, and until now, hasn’t had a single error like this. You are…"

"New? Young? Inexperienced? Incompetent in your eyes?" I say what I know he’s thinking. "If that’s true, then why the hell did you hire me?"

"I don’t know," he admits in a deep voice. "And don’t you think I ask myself the same thing every day? Why the hell did I hire you? I’m sure I had a tiny mental lapse at that moment, because on paper, you’re undoubtedly perfect, but in person… a disaster."

I physically recoil, shivering at his words.

I look away, refusing to let him see how much his words stab me.

"Perfect on paper?" I almost laugh, repeating his words. "What’s that supposed to mean? No one is perfect, Matheo Slade, not even you."

"Are you sure about that?" he asks, almost cruelly. "Because I could swear my life was perfect until you walked through that f*****g door."

"You’re the one who comes near me and won’t leave me alone," I remind him. "Do you think I want you around? You? Someone who has made it clear in every way how much he despises me?"

He bites his lower lip forcefully, looking at me almost predatorily, as if my words have stoked his anger even more.

"And who do you want around, Defne? Huh?" He steps toward me. "Levi? Because he’s the one I saw coming out behind you in that little janitor’s closet, isn’t he?"

"What are you implying?"

"I warned you about the no-fraternization rule in my company."

"You’re a f*****g hypocrite," I growl.

"What were you doing with him in that closet?"

I don’t answer.

"Defne," he says, looking at me with crushing anger in his eyes. "Answer me."

"If I tell you we f****d, will you finally fire me?"

His eyes darken almost to black, and I swear I’ve never seen rage like that burn in anyone’s gaze. This man could unleash the apocalypse itself if he wanted, and he would do it with a single look; that’s how piercing his eyes are.

When he lowers his eyelids and takes a deep breath, I sense how hard he’s controlling himself to not open that door and go straight for Levi. I can see it in every part of him, I read it easily, and it terrifies me.

"Defne, I swear to God…" he denies, a flicker of pain in the furrow of his brow.

"f**k this," I whisper to myself, forcefully brushing away my tears, because I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. So, controlling my voice, I wait until he looks me in the eyes to speak:

"I quit."

And slipping under his arm, I escape, slamming the door behind me.

[…]

When I’m printing my resignation letter, Scarlett calls me to her office, so I take the opportunity and bring the printed sheet. As soon as I enter and she sees the paper in my hand, she shakes her head and gestures for me to sit with a subtle motion.

"I know I should take this to HR first, but you’re my superior and…"

"I’m not going to accept that resignation, Defne."

"How do you know I’m going to quit?"

"Matheo had a meeting with me and asked for explanations about the advance you delivered today," she sighs, and for the first time I see something beyond cold control in her eyes; there’s remorse. "I took the blame for your mistakes—it was my fault."

I remain still, staring at her, speechless.

"I know it’s not an excuse," she continues, "but my daughter had a small accident at school that day, and when they called to tell me, I was about to give you instructions to start your work. I got confused; it’s something that had never happened before. I was stressed, worried, and a second away from a mental breakdown. I gave you instructions meant for other clients. I’m sorry. And I regret only realizing it now; I don’t know what came over me."

"I…"

"You have potential, Defne," she says, nodding at me. "You’re very good, and I want you on my team."

"But I…"

"I will not accept your resignation," she stretches out her hand for me to give her the paper and tears it before my eyes. "Go on, keep working."

"She doesn’t get it, I…"

"I don’t care what problems you have with Matheo, but I want you to remember that you answer to me first. And I’m telling you that I do not accept your resignation."

"But Mr. Slade…"

"The design department is mine; Matheo has never interfered in my area until now. And he doesn’t have to: he’s a systems engineer, the best programmer there is, not counting his other degrees, but he’s not a graphic designer. So forget everything you discussed with him, because the only opinion that matters is mine. I’m telling you that you are very talented. Believe it, because I won’t let you go to another company. Now go, you have a lot to do."

I suppress the smile I want to show and nod, leaving with a quiet thanks that I feel in my bones.

At my desk, I find an email from Matheo Slade demanding I come to his office immediately. Without a second thought, I delete it and continue my work.

Because I’m done with him.