Dare Me

1

1

EDITH

"What do you mean you can't give me a loan?", I blurted out by now outraged.

"You understand perfectly well, Miss Merivale."

"This is about a student loan! I don't understand the problem."

I have already explained to you that your parents' financial situation is too compromised to give further subsidies."

"This is about my education, not my family. I'm in my final year of law school at Yale and I absolutely need that money to finish my studies."

"I completely understand that."

"No you don't! You don't understand a damn thing, otherwise you would know how much a year at Yale costs. I can't afford it without a loan. The scholarship they gave me barely covers essential expenses."

"Miss Merivale." The bank clerk's annoyed tone made me realise that I had reached the end of the conversation and was about to be dismissed. "Until your father settles his instalments with other banking institutions and closes the gap he left behind, no bank will be willing to give you another loan."

"But the right to study..."

"Good day, Miss Merivale," the man dryly dismissed me, returning to staring at his computer as if I were no longer there.

I held back a huff of impatience and stood up, gathering all the dignity I had left.

I allowed myself my twenty seconds of self-pity, after which I went back to being the badass Edith I had always been.

I grabbed my mobile phone and immediately booked a flight to Seattle. I had to get home as soon as possible and figure out what the hell had happened.

Already last year I had experienced difficulties because of the economic crisis that had brought my father's company to its knees, but then he had assured me that things would soon be fine. Being on the other side of the US, I had taken him at his word, but after my Platinium credit card had been deactivated, the phone call from my mother telling me that she wouldn't finance my last year at Yale, and the fifth bank slamming the door in my face when I applied for a student loan, it was clear that things had hit rock bottom instead of getting back up.

Fortunately, I had been brought up never to give up and always to get busy, so I didn't let anxiety or financial difficulties overwhelm me this time either.

Yale was too important to give up!

I hurried back to campus and packed a suitcase with the essentials. It was not my intention to stay in Seattle. I would be back the next day if I could talk to my father right away and get him to explain what the hell was going on.

Three hours later I was already on my way to the airport.

I was about to get out of the taxi when my mobile rang.

I prayed it was a bank alerting me that I had reconsidered, but "Mum" appeared on the display.

With a grunt of nervousness, I answered.

"Hi, Mum."

"Honey, you need to come home right away.” [mumbled speech]

"Did you get your lips done again?", I understood, noticing how badly she spoke. It happened every time.

"A touch-up."

"A touch-up?! I don't have the money for university, but you don't seem to have any shortage to keep going to the plastic surgeon," I blurted bitterly.

"You are beautiful now. When you get older, you will too."

"I will never do anything like that."

"Instead of lecturing me, come home now. Dad had a stroke."

"A what?"

"A stroke... You don't understand anything. I'll text you," she said, ending the call.

Shortly afterwards I received a message: "Your father has had a stroke. He is in hospital. Come here immediately. You know I can't handle everything by myself. Mum."

My legs nearly gave way, but I braced myself and replied that I was already catching a plane back.

I clutched the phone so tightly that my knuckles whitened.

I knew my father was desperate, exasperated by the financial situation we were in, but I did not believe that stress and poor nutrition could cause him a stroke.

I swallowed hard.

The bravado that had accompanied me all day had evaporated.

I loved my father. I had always had a good relationship with him. I was convinced that he had always told me everything and kept me up to date on his condition, whereas now I realised that during those years at Yale a chasm had opened up between us. A void that no longer allowed us to communicate and confide in each other as we had in the past.

I was sad about that, but I had never shown it. It had always been easier to pretend I was too happy and satisfied with my studies to grieve over that separation.

Now, reality had hit me with a deadly blow and I felt knocked out.

Wearily dragging my trolley, I approached the check-in desk.

Forty-five minutes later I was on the plane to Seattle.

JAKE

"I'm in the middle of a wrongful expropriation mediation and I have a deposition in two hours, Easton!", I blurted out furiously at that interruption. I hated being disturbed while I worked.

"Dad had a heart attack."

"f**k," I huffed worriedly.

"Yeah, fuck."

"Is it serious?"

"No, he was caught in time, but it's already the second one and this time the doctors want absolute rest for him for the next two months."

"Sure, sure."

"He asked for you."

"About me?"

"He wants to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About work."

"I've got Jenson for that. I don't do acquisitions and buying and selling of..."

"He wants you, Jake. He has something to settle and he wants you to take care of it."

"I'm a lawyer."

"I know, but he wants you to handle it. He says Jenson would never give a clearance, so he needs someone in the family."

"What's this about? I hope it's a legal thing."

"He'll give you the details, the only thing I know is that you have to meet someone."

"Who?"

"Do you remember Paul Merivale?"

Hearing that name made my breath catch and for a moment I couldn't speak.

"Yes," I whispered faintly, feeling certain emotions crushing me like years before.

"He needs money, if I understand correctly. Our father always vowed to help him in the name of their longstanding friendship, and now Merivale is close to bankruptcy."

"So I have to write a cheque for him?"

"Yes, the daughter will come for him."

"Edith." Just saying that name made me risk choking on my own vocal cords.

"Yes, her. You met her some time ago. Do you remember?"

"Yes," sadly.

"You also f****d her, didn't you?"

"Easton...," I growled fiercely. He couldn't know it but uttering Edith's name and the word f**k in the same conversation was forbidden by law. My law.

"Okay, big brother, don't get hot. It's obvious that this is a chick who leaves her mark,' Easton snickered.

It was easy for him to talk, since the only girl he had ever loved still loved him. Although four years younger, Easton had already managed to have a relationship that I would never have had. I had often envied him, also because I had met Alice and her peppery temperament. That girl had the power to send even the calmest and most peaceful person in the world to the madhouse.

"Edith was just an insignificant interlude in my life. Nothing worth remembering,' I repeated like a good parrot who knew the lesson by heart. Years of repeating that mantra to myself had worked.

"A parenthesis of your imaginary or real life?" my brother provoked me.

"I ended it with her years ago," I specified firmly.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you get so pissed off when I mentioned her name? A closed parenthesis leaves indifference not anger."

"It's not anger."

"Then it's s****l frustration?" insisted Easton, bursting out laughing.

"f**k off!", I blurted, relieved not to have my brother in front of me, as I blushed at the truth I would never admit even under torture.

"Someone here needs to f**k more!" he laughed amused.

"I f**k enough already," I raged. How could he tell me such a thing when he knew very well that I had many women with whom I enjoyed myself whenever I wanted. s*x was certainly not something that was lacking in my life. Even Easton had once scolded me for that!

"It is not quantity that makes the difference, but quality, and you have yet to find a woman capable of giving meaning to what you are and do."

"Since when did you become so cheesy and romantic?"

"Since I realised the difference between s*x without commitment and s*x with love. Not even a hundred of the shagging you do is worth as much as one of the shagging I do with Alice. One day you'll understand that too."

"I like my life the way it is."

"Only because you don't know a different one."

"That's not true," I retorted offended. In fact in the past I had begun to live a different life and try to love like Easton, but I had been slack, careless and often drunk. So much so that I had driven away the only person I wanted, exhausting her trust and patience. She had not been able to wait for me and I had done nothing to get a move on. In the end I had preferred to continue my dissolute life rather than leave my comfort zone and throw myself into something I didn't feel I could handle.

I had been a coward, but I was fine with that.

All I had to do repeatedly was to tell myself that she was not the one and to believe it and that was the end of it.

Stanford had helped me and my law studies had saved me from debauchery, giving me a purpose, to be a successful lawyer.

Now I lived for my work and I had sworn that no woman could ever make me lose my head again.