"Thus Homer P. Mellinger made oration to me and Henry Horsecollar. And, later, he divested himself of this remark:
"'Boys, I'm to hold a soirée this evening with a g**g of leading citizens, and I want your assistance. You bring the musical corn sheller and give the affair the outside appearance of a function. There's important business on hand, but it mustn't show. I can talk to you people. I've been pained for years on account of not having anybody to blow off and brag to. I get homesick sometimes, and I'd swap the entire perquisites of office for just one hour to have a stein and a caviare sandwich somewhere on Thirty-fourth Street, and stand and watch the street cars go by, and smell the peanut roaster at old Giuseppe's fruit stand.'
"'Yes,' said I, 'there's fine caviare a
