Natasha I order a drink at Starbucks and look around. Alex isn’t here yet. He was totally punctual the other times we met up, but I don’t read too much into it. I feel both hollow and heavy at the same time. Sort of like I’ve been filled with sand. I don’t want to be here. Interacting with any other human would be painful at the moment, but I especially don’t want to talk to Alex. He’s another one who used me. I wasn’t even his fall-back friend. I was just a target he used to get to my friends. And yes, I do still consider them my friends even if I’ve had it with all of them. They’re still my community. My people. But maybe he did really care about me. I read all the texts he sent over the last week. The ones Dima intercepted and replied to. He apologized. Said he felt bad for involvi

