SOULLES | Sold my soul

There are moments in your life when you are faced with two options. You can either put yourself first and do what is only good for you. Or you can put yourself second in order to help someone you care about. These are the moments that define you. Right now, sitting in a hospital chair, waiting for a doctor to come out and update me on my brother’s situation. I just feel hopeless. Not being able to help my brother. The idea of him being in pain kills me inside. The sole idea of him being hurt breaks me apart. This morning, as he was getting on his motorcycle, I kissed him goodbye and told him to take care of himself. He put on his helmet, turned to me, smiled, and just said “I’ll be fine sis, it’s just another day.” But it’s not. It’s not just another day. Because right now, Matt is not at college studying. He’s in an emergency room, intensive care to be exact. Because a drunken driver hit him with his car. Doctors didn’t tell me anything, they just said they couldn’t tell me anything for sure until after the surgery is over. Matt is all the family I have left, I can’t lose him. I just can’t. My mind is a blur. I don’t know whether to pray, cry or just scream. Why are these doctors taking so f*****g long. “Dakota Traveno?” I hear a voice calling. I look up and notice the doctor standing beside me. “That’s me.” I instantly blurt out. “Miss Traveno, there are no words to describe how sorry I am for your loss. He didn’t-“ That’s it, that’s all I could hear. Everything else is just a blabber of words now. No, no no no God. Please. please. “You can grieve as long and hard as you need to.” The doctor says before he walks away. ****************************************** Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest? That’s what it feels like right now. I’m walking, but it feels like I’m in another world. As I look through the window to my brother’s room, and see him lying down, lifeless. I turn around and just start running through the hallways of the hospital. I frantically start fidgeting with the handles of every room door I find in hope that one door is unlocked. I feel like I’m going to faint. I need to scream. I need one of these goddam doors to be unlocked. As I finally find a room that doesn’t have a locked door, I walk inside and instantly collapse of the floor. Tears are falling down my cheeks, I can barely even see my surroundings. At the top of my lungs, I just scream. Why him. Why Matt? He’s a good guy. Take me instead. Take me instead of him! My heart is so heavy with sadness. I can't even breathe. “I can do that.” I hear a voice saying. Someone’s in this room with me. “What? Can you please leave me alone for a while. I need to be by myself.” I blurt out between the sobbing. “You’re the one who practically asked for my presence.” The person casually says as he comes closer. I try to wipe the tears away to see what this guy wants. Sitting on the bed right beside me, is a guy in a suit. I can’t really tell what he looks like, my eyes are blurred from the crying. “What do you want?” I ask. “I’m ready to save your brother, in exchange for one thing.” “What the hell are you talking about, my brother is dead.” I scream out. “I acknowledge that. And I am telling you that I can bring him back to life.” “And how are you going to do that you maniac.” “Oh I’m no maniac Dakota.” He whispers, moving closer to me. “How do you know my name.” He puts his hand on my chin and lifts my face with his fingers so that I’m facing him. “I know everything about you. I know that your parents died when you were young, leaving you alone to raise your brother, who was only 10 years old at the time” he continues “and you were what, 16 years young? You were just a child, with that kind of responsibility. You didn’t even get to experience your teenage years.” “Get the hell out.” I blurt out. “I can help you. A soul for a soul.” “You can’t help me. I lost him.” “Just tell me you need me. I’ll snap my fingers and your brother is back alive.” I notice him smiling as he continues “Your soul, for his. Isn’t that what you screamed out before? That I take you instead of him?” At this point, I feel like I’m going crazy for having the slightest amount of faith and hope that this person, whoever the f**k he is, might be able to bring my brother back to life. “Bring him back.” I cry out. “To be clear. He will live, and you on the other hand, will die. Just like I said. A soul for a soul.” “I don’t care. If you are for real. Whoever and whatever you are, if you really can take me instead of him. Do so.” “Say it. Say what you’re doing. Say you’re selling your soul.” “I’m- I’m selling my soul.” “To the devil.” The voice whispers in a spine chilling tone. ”Say it” “To the devil.” I say as chills run down my entire body. “Very well, Miss Dakota. From this moment on. You are no longer belonging to the world of the living. You shall instead die instead of your brother who is, as we speak, starting to breath again.” “I want to see him, please.” “Of course. Be my guest.” He says as I notice him gesturing towards the door. I instantly exit the room and head towards the surgery room where my brother was left. I sprint through the hallway, this uneasy feeling washes over me. As I race to the door, a nurse pops in front of me, I cover my face ready for the impact of bumping into her. But instead I walk right through her. This can’t be. I reach Matt’s room, I walk inside. There are doctors, so many doctors. They’re all in shock. They literally look like they just saw a ghost. This can’t be real. Is he really. I walk around them to get a chance to glance at the bed where my brother was lying down. But he’s not lying there anymore, he’s sitting down. Looking completely okay. Is he- is he really- He’s- he’s really alive. “You’ve seen him. Now you have to come with me.” The person who was with me says. “Please let me stay. I don’t want to leave him.” Tears start running down my cheeks again. “You made a deal. If you wish to stay. I will take back the life I gave to your brother and you shall stay in the land of the living with no brother by your side. It’s your choice.” As I become aware that this might be the last time I see Matt. I fall to my knees in front of him. And I gently place my hand on his cheek. Tracing his features. “He can’t see you nor feel you.” I figured, but I can feel him. And that’s something I’ll cherish forever. Knowing that he is alive and well. I don’t need anything else. I’d die everyday for him. I’d die every single day if it means he gets to live. He’s 19 years old now. He’s an adult. And an incredible one to be exact. He’s going to continue his studies. And he’s going to become and amazing doctor. He’s going to save lives one day. Get married, have a family. Grow old. And then, only then will it be his time to die. Not now. Not today. I will never have these things, but as long as he does. I’m okay with that. “I love you Matt. Forever and ever little brother.” I say as I get up and walk away from him. “Let’s go.” The person says as he offers his hand. I take his hand and instantly feel like I’m going to faint. I think I do faint. Because everything is black. I can’t see s**t. My head feels like it’s going to explode. What is happening. ******************************************* Freaking hell, I feel as if I have the most horrible hangover ever. I turn over in bed and hug my pillows. Ugh, I hate waking up after a night out. This hangover is killing me. I reach over to my bedside table to grab my phone. My hand goes through air instead of hitting my nightstand. Okay where the f**k is my my nightstand. I open my eyes and adjust myself in bed. This is not my room. This is so not my bed. Where am I ? And then it all comes back. The accident, Matt, ‘selling my soul’. I get off the bed and instantly head to the door of the room i'm in. I try to open it. It’s locked. Shit. s**t. s**t!! I need to get out of here. Oh I so need to get out of here. “You do know you can’t leave right?” “Yo what? How did you come in here?” “Same way I gave life back to your brother. With my powers. I am the devil after all.” “If you are really the devil, then why did you help me? The devil doesn’t just help people.” “As far as I know, all I did was trade one soul for another. I didn’t ‘help’ anyone.” “So this is what the devil does? Trades souls? So much for being king of the underworld.” “Oh I’m not king of the underworld. Trust me, you wouldn’t like to meet that guy.” “So what do I do now?” I ask. Still feeling like I’m in a dream. Actually I’m pretty sure I’m in a dream. “Oh you’re not dreaming.” He laughs. “What the-. Get out of my head.” “I own you. I can do every f*****g thing I want with you.” He says as he gestures for me to sit down with his hand. And I do sit down. He’s controlling me. He’s right after all. I sold him my soul. “From now on, you do everything I tell you to.” “I won’t do shit.” “Trust me” he calmly say as he gets incredibly close to me “you will do as I say.” I think this is the first time I notice how intense his eyes are. I felt my heart beginning to race. My eyes traced his tall well-built figure, from his wavy dark hair down to his designer shoes. He’s wearing a suit that fits him so well, I could notice every detail of his body. The closer he came, the heavier I started to breathe. He might be the devil, but he couldn't be much older than me nonetheless. I took a deep breath, inhaling his strong cologne. I found myself lost in his eyes. But then I started looking at his perfect lips, then at his jawline. Oh no what the f**k is happening to me. “Yeah I have this effect on women.” He smirks as he notices how I’m drooling over him. “Yeah you wish. I am, a hundred percent, not attracted to you. Nor will I ever be.” “We’ll see about that. Dakota Traveno. After all, I am the devil. And you will, at one point or another fall for me.” Oh, trust me. I won’t. “Get dressed. You have work to do.” He says as he walks out the room. “Wait what! What work?” I ask, but he already left. Freaking asshole. Since he left out the door, it’s probably unlocked now. It might be my chance to try and get out. I sprint to the door and I can’t believe it. It opens. Fuck yeah.