Heal Me, Roughly

After receiving my final grade. I hurriedly went under the biggest tree near in our school's gymnasium. No one's dare to stay here because they rather go to different malls than wasting their time sitting under this old tree. I sat and lean my back while murmuring a little prayer hoping that I made it. I adjusted my round big eyeglasses and opened the white card. I stared on it for a couple of seconds. 97.5 My twins final grade was 98 flat. I sighed and closed my eyes. My mom will surely lecture me again if she saw this card. Like what the old song's lyrics. I did my best but I guess my best wasn't good enough. I closed my eyes again and bite my lower lip. I have this hobby of biting my lower lip whenever I feel nervous and tense. I sighed. "To the girl whose cloud follows her around," Someone's spoke. I didn't open my eyes but I chose to listen instead. "Break free. Being stuck in that darkness for so long is only going to drag you farther back. Have friends. Talk to them. Find something that will make you happy. Don't close your doors. Don't shut other people. Sometimes if you want to get rid of your own darkness you have to create your own sunshine." I smiled. He's right I know. I've been shutting those persons who wants to be my friend. I pity myself for having the difficulty of opening up. "To the girl who studied very hard." He continued "Rest. Life is mysterious and you can't discover how beautiful our world is if you stay in the library. Have fun and enjoy your childhood. Because you might regret it when you grow up. Don't be stiff. Play and be an extrovert. It will make you happy. Explore." I wrinkled my nose. Am I that stiff? Yes I played but not in the playground. I used to play hangaroo or mathematics games. "To the girl who thinks that she's worthless." The guy continued again. "You're not. The moment you open your eyes in this world your worth is more than enough. You don't have to feel that no one's need you because we need you. You're valuable. You're precious. So don't think that way because God didn't make any worthless things." I bite my lower lip again after that part. Because it's true. I feel worthless every time I failed my parents expectation. I feel that they don't need me anymore. "To the girl who thinks of hurting herself." The guy inhaled sharply before speaking again. "Please, please stop hurting yourself. Your body is beautiful. You are beautiful. Your pain won't fade by implanting bruises and scratches in yourself. Sing around your room to some 5 seconds of summer's songs. Shout your despair and throw rocks upon the cliff. Kick the soccer ball and put all your pain on it. Go for a run. Just do not harm yourself." And that's it! My tears sprang after hearing those words. I realized how many times I think about hurting myself. I thought it'll lessen the pain in my heart but I guess I'm not. I let my tears fell down to my cheeks. "And to the girl whose crying under the tree." My eyebrows furrowed. Was it me he's referring with? I opened my eyes and wiped my wet cheeks. My head turns left and right looking for a guy who's speaking awhile ago. "Go cry." My eyes flew to the upper part of the three. There. I saw him. Sitting prominently on the branch of the big old tree. Staring directly to the sky. His right hand stretched upward as if he's reaching the clouds. "Your eyes are too beautiful to cry but it's one of the key to ease the pain. You can cry every time you're hurt. Just don't let the sorrow ruled you. Crying doesn't make you weak. It make you stronger. Stronger enough to face another pain after drying your cheeks from your tears. Don't worry about it. There's someone who wants to offer his shoulder for you. You just need to smile after it." He looked down and jumped off the tree. Jeez! This guy looks so weird. He walked towards me while grinning. "W-who are you?" I stuttered. "I'm the man who always sit there." He pointed the branch where he sat. "and the man who always watching this cute little girl whose wearing a big rounded eye glasses." "I-I don't know you." I turned my back. After picking all my things I walk away from him. I don't need friends. Here I am again. Shutting people out. I froze after hearing his shouted words but I continue walking away. "My name is Ish! And I'll find you Swella Prieto! I swear!"