MAKE ME HARD

Rondelle embraced Marga, his fiancé, tightly. Asking her not to leave. If it was needed, he could bend his knees. “Please Marga, don't do this!” nakaluhod na pakiusap niya. Margaret was his fiance, and they’ve been engaged for almost three years. They‘re going to get married before the horrible incident happened. “I'm sorry Mr. Olsen, but I can't give you any guarantee about that.” “What are you talking about? That I can no longer use this," he said, pointing in between his thighs at the same time. “I'm so sorry to say that, but maybe yes!” “No! No! I can't accept tiis for Pete's sake! I would rather die, than accept this cruel fate.” That was the nightmare a year ago. He did everything. He spent millions of dollars. He almost travels the world to find something that will get him back to normal. But he didn’t find anything. So she’s going to leave now. The woman he thought would stay in his darkest moment. She ‘s going to go now. “Please Marga, don’t leave. I’m begging you.” Lumuhod siya, buong pusong nagmakaawa sa kasintahan. “Come on Rondelle, it doesn’t work!” mariing sabi nito. “Please, I love you Marga! I will give everything to you,“ he whispered. For God’s sake, this is the first time he cried out for a woman. “No! Rondelle, you can’t do that! I’m not going to be satisfied with you any more, so please, spare me.” Tinabig nito ang kamay niyang nakayakap sa katawan nito. As she walks with a smug grin on her face, and he’s never going to forget that. He was still broken and miserable. His ego and pride were scattered. His self-confidence gradually faded. It’s just pointless. Ano pa ba ang magiging silbi niya sa buhay? “Damn it! Damn it!” sunod-sunod na mura ang lumabas sa bibig niya nang maalala na naman ang parte ng buhay niya gusto na niyang ibaon sa limot. It’s been a year, but it seems like it just happened yesterday. Sariwa pa rin sa kanya ang lahat. Ang dahilan kung bakit s’ya iniwan ng babaeng iyon. He needs fresh air to breathe. He wants to forget all about it, and he couldn’t do it if he chose to stay in this miserable situation. There’s a lot of memories in this place. Margaret isn’t a woman that’s easy to forget. The fact that he really loves that woman. He even thought he ‘d have a family with her. He assumed, but it wasn’t ended up exactly to what it’s supposed to be. The woman dumped him like an used toy. Perhaps because he was useless now. Sino ba naman kasing magtatyaga sa katulad niya. “C’mon, stop thinking nonsense, that woman is not worthy of your attention. And stop being stupid, damn it! Stop caring about that woman.” Sumasakit ang ulo n’ya kaya’t hinilot-hilot n’ya iyon, saka ipinagpatuloy ang pag-empake ng mga gamit n’ya. He’s trying to escape this tiring city. He deserves a little space to mend himself. Masyado ng malaki ang epekto sa pagkatao niya ang ginawang pag-iwan sa kanya ng babaeng iyon. Gusto niyang lumayo. ‘Yung malayong-malayo, ‘yong hindi na niya makikita pa ito o maaalala man lang. Paano? Iyon ang hindi pa niya alam sa ngayon. Ang importante, makalayo muna siya sa kahihiyang ipinamukha sa kanya ng dating kasintahan. Preskong hangin ang sumalubong sa kanya sa paglabas ng airport. Sinulyapan niya ang orasang pambisig na suot. Palinga-linga siya sa paligid upang mataan ang kanyang sundo. Hindi niya maiwasang pagmasdan ang paligid na matagal ng panahon niyang hindi nakita. Malaki na ang pinagbago ng lugar mula nang huli niyang pasyal doon, way back high school days pa ata siya noon. Abala ang mata niya sa paligid, mi-minsang inalok siya ng taxi pero tinanggihan niya iyon sa kadahilanang may susundo nga sa kanya. Malapit na siyang dapuan ng pagkabagot nang isang itim na Mercedes-Benz ang huminto sa harapan niya. Bumukas ang pinto niyon at iniluwa ang lalaking hindi nalalayo sa kanya na anim at limang pulgada ang taas. Naka-fitted shirt ito na gray at khaki pants na ternohan pa ng combat shoes na animo’y si Guile ng street fighter. “Come on Dude, I know you missed me, but just get in the car before you lose yourself and kiss my ass,” sabi nito sa kanya habang hawak ang isa sa mga luggages n’ya at kasalukuyang ipinapasok na iyon sa compartment ng kotse nito. Wala man lang kumustahang naganap sa pagitan nila. It was KIRITO, a close friend. The daredevil one. Pasimuno ng mga kalukuhan. Naalala niya bigla ang mga kalukohang kinasangkutan nila sa pangunguna syempre nito. “Hey, you really wouldn’t give me a hug? I miss you, man,” malapad ang ngiti nitong sabi na umaktong yayakapin pa siya. “Drop it! You freak, don’t you dare touch me fucker!” natatawang sabi niya habang inilalayo ang sarili sa kaibigan na animo’y diring-diri. Na-miss niya ang kaibigan, no doubt about that. At ngayon lang din s’ya ulit ngumiti ng totoo sa loob niya. He was like a brother to him, at hindi naman naputol ang ugnayan nilang lahat kahit na nag-migrate siya noon sa States at doon na naglagi. He’s a good man and a friend to him. “Ouch for that Olsen!” Natawa siya sa inakto nitong nakahawak pa sa puso. “Where’s my car, Alas? I ‘d rather drive my own to San Juan than bother you here!” aniya na ang tinutukoy ay ang pinabili n’yang kotse rito bago pa siya dumating. Mas mabuti nang siya na lang mag-isa, mahaba rin kasi ang guguguling oras sa byahe papuntang San Juan. Masyado nang abala para rito. He knows how busy this guy is. “Ok, if that’s exactly what you want, man! It is in my garage. Just see Buenafe and Montreal first before you head back to your hometown. They ‘re going to be glad to see you!” ani nito habang nakatutok ang paningin sa daan. Excited rin naman siyang makasama ang mga kaibigan. Masyado lang siguro siyang pagod sa byahe kaya mas minabuti niyang umuwi agad sa probinsya kaysa manatili sa Manila. Isa pa walang alam ang mga ito sa kung ano man ang pinagdadaanan niya. Umiiwas lang siya sa masusing interogasyon na maaring gawin ng mga ito sa kanya kapag nagkarooon ang mga ito ng pagkakataon. Rather, he spent his time alone and buried himself in his ancestor ‘s home. Bukas na bukas din.