Love Me Harder (Book 2 of The Roommate)

Competitions ELENA’S POV: Competition will never get out of people’s life. It always exists. Grooming ourselves aren’t yet enough for Rebecca for destruction, and she still wants to buy some clothes. Saying that these are the only thing that helps her forget just for a little while. But, for me, this is no way of destructing. It doesn’t do anything but let the memories filled me by each and every stop. But, since most of the clothes I brought here were bought and paid by James Wilson. I meant to replace those with new ones, paying with my very own money. I smile at the idea of being an independent woman and self-sustainer. When I agreed she ended up squealing like a child who won a chocolate in a competition. “Oh my god. You know, I don’t usually have someone to shop with me.” she says. “As you know, Louisa and I never really get along since we were kids. And, I’d rather be alone than be with her.” I remember the last time I saw them discussed, and I was really surprised when I found out that they were first cousins.  “How about Catherine and Kate?” I asked. I leaned, and put my seatbelt on. She shrugs, “I don’t feel their company. Kate is too in love with Daniel, that she couldn’t live without him, and sometimes get to the point if she could only go with him in a bath just to pee. That’s how needy and clingy she could get.” She said. I laughed. “And, Catherine?” She shakes her head, “I don’t really feel her, and I just knew her.” “Well, you just knew me too. We barely know each other.” I pointed out. “I don’t know. But, your warm to me.” I don’t even know if she’s telling the truth, or perhaps, she’s just making me feel special because she felt guilty for tricking me into going with her just to do James a favor. She drove to the mall, and played a few songs making the ride less sadder. The second song that was played was The Scientist by Coldplay. Heavy droplets of rain suddenly fall. I just used you. Michael’s voice plays on my mind like a broken music. Nobody said it was easy. A tear formed in my eyes, I wiped it off before Rebecca could even see it. Stop crying. He never care, and you knew it. You already know the consequences of messing up with a guy like him, and yet it didn’t stop you from doing so. My subconscious said. I shrugged. She was right, she has always been right. I didn’t meet him as the nice guy, the way I have met James. I’ve met him for who he really is. He made sure that I would know the real him, and yet no matter how ugly his truth was. I understand the monster in him, and I didn’t expect that I would love him. Yes, I love him. I didn’t expect it, but I do love him. No matter how much he hurts me, and all the ugly outcome of this uncertain situation has gotten. Rebecca seems to notice my sudden discomfort, she gave me a soft rub on the back. “Stop thinking about him. He’s an asshole, okay?” she says. He is. “Nahh. I’m not thinking about him.” I mumble. Even my own voice couldn’t stomach the lies i just splur out. She shakes her head, and laughed. “I remember when we were still kids, Michael was so different than he is right now. Just like James, he was the smartest among the rest of the students without trying. Have you ever met someone who never study but is very intelligent?” I shake my head. “Michael. He was not just smart, but he was also among the nicest kids in town until 8th grade. When the old Mayor, his grandfather died. That’s when everything changes. 7 days after his grandfather’s burial, he went missing. And, do you know where the police found him?” She stops at the middle of the traffic light, it ignited to red. “He was found on the grave of his grandfather. He has been there for more than 5 days without eating anything.” I frowned, and my heart tightens. As I picture him laying across the grave of his grandfather, so drowned in grief. “You seem not surprised.” Rebecca said, her eyes are observing me. “He told me about it,” I muttered. Her eyes widen in surprise. “He told you?” she said. Her voice was breathless, and full of surprises. Which puts a tad of annoyance in my mood. “Why do you act so surprised?” I couldn’t help the stain of annoyance in my voice. “Michael does not really share his problem with us, let alone to a stranger. If you notice, he likes pushing people away.” she says. Michael is the type of person who’s very secretive, that he does not want anyone to know about him. I feel him. Letting people know things about you is pulling your walls down and would only leave yourself vulnerable. Knowing the person that he is. Vulnerable isn’t in his vocabulary. He likes being in control and undefeated. The way she refers to me as a ‘stranger’ put a pang on me. But, it is true. I just came in their life, I am nothing but a stranger to them. A stranger who surprised them whether they like it or not. I came here as the girlfriend of James, not knowing the father I never had is here. She parked her car in the basement parking of the mall. She removed her seatbelt, and stops when she looks at me. “Stop bothering yourself by thinking of him, Elena. You’re too good for him. He’s a lost cause.” even at this state, no matter how angry I am at him. It pisses me off the way she describes him as someone who is a lost cause. It should have made me feel better, but it doesn’t. Elena stop worrying about him. He doesn’t give a damn about you. I gave her a smile and a nod. “Yeah. You’re right.” I mumble. But, she seems unsatisfied with my answer.