Ruthless Maecenas

This is a work of fiction. Any semblance between original characters and real persons, living or dead, is coincidental. The author in no way represents the companies, corporations, or brands mentioned in this book. The likeness of historical/famous figures has been used fictitiously; the author does not speak for or represent these people. All opinions expressed in this book are the author's, or fictional. This chapter contains explicit content including s*x, strong language, violence, etc. Readers' discretion is advised. ---- The words aren't clear but I can understand the judge's verdict. Tears came rushing down my face. What's this feeling? Is it joy? Is it pain? Hindi ko na alam. "Hera, please. Don't do this. I love you!" He screamed as he was being dragged by the police. I remained calm. I can't show emotions here. Hindi ko siya magawang matignan. T*ngina ka, Hera. Nakaya mo ng ilang oras. Kayanin mo 'to ngayon. Ito ang tama. Gawin mo ang trabaho mo. "Paano si Simon?! You know exactly how it felt to lose a father and look what you're doing to your own son?!" I heard him yell one more time until he's dragged completely out of the room. And that made me fall into my knees. I breakdown. My cries covered the room. I can feel people's stares; watching how my world crushes into pieces. "Hera, please tumayo ka na. Halika na. Umuwi na tayo. Tapos na," I didn't notice that Addie was already beside me, hugging me tightly. I reciprocate the gesture and sob into her neck. I faced her. "Paano nga si Simon? Ayokong lumaki siya nang walang ama, Addie. Ayokong maramdaman niya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Bata pa si Simon, Addie. Ano na ang gagawin ko?" I cried louder. I feel empty, voided. Did I do the right thing? "You did the right thing, Hera. Hindi rin p'wedeng lumaki si Simon sa gano'ng klaseng environment. You did this for him. For yourself. Especially for your dad. Halika na," Addie said like she can read my mind. She helped me to stand up and get out of the room. She got us a taxi. For the whole ride, wala akong ibang nagawa kung 'di ang umiyak. Alam kong tama ang ginawa ko, pero bakit parang iba ang sinasabi ng damdamin ko? Umuwi akong sinalubong ni Manang. Karga-karga ang anak ko. I hurriedly run towards him and hugged him tightly. I looked at his face, "he looks like his father, Addie. He really looks exactly like him," I cried. Simon was just 7 months old. And I took his father away. Would he understand when he grows up? Would he forgive me? But would he forgive his father for the things he'd done? Would he grow up like him? Would he hate for not choosing his father? "... you can't ignore the fact that he-- are you even listening, Hera?" I snapped back when I heard Addie yell at me. "Sorry," is all I can say to her. I'm out of words. Hindi ko na alam ang mga nangyayare. Gusto ko nalang humiga at iiyak lahat 'to. "No, Hera. Ako dapat ang magsorry. Sorry I didn't know. Sorry, sa lahat ng nangyare," she replied. Her voice broke. I looked at Addie's eyes, they were teary. Alam ko nasasaktan din siya ngayon, pero mas pinipili niyang maging mas malakas. Para sakin. Para saming mag-ina. We got inside the house. Iniwan ko muna si Simon sa baba kasama si Manang at Addie. I stayed in my room for hours. Kahit na matulog ay hindi ko na magawa. Even when I blink, I can only see his face. His smile, that damned smile that turn my world upside down, that changed everything I believed in. The smile that change the whole perspective. I still can hear his laugh; his voice telling me how he loves me and Simon; his frustrated but calm voice when Simon messed up his paintings. The way he told me every piece of him; I can still hear it all clear. "Can you forgive me, love? Can you still love me after all that I've done wrong? Is this the end of us?" I asked the invisible. Could I still make it right? Or should I leave the things as it is? I cried for hours until I fell asleep. Until I heard a knock on my door. "Hera? Someone gave this," Addie said as she walk towards me from the doorway. She gave me an envelope. It was just plain; no address, no nothing. I just put it at the side table and close my eyes again. Addie was still in the room, just looking at me. "Tama na, Hera. Tignan mo nga 'yang itsura mo, mukha ka nang bakulaw. Magang-maga na 'yang mata mo. Maging malakas ka para sa anak mo. Ang dami mong pinagdaanan para makuha 'to. Tanggapin nalang natin. Alam ko masakit, pero ito 'yung dapat, eh. Huli na para magsisi, at wala ka dapat pagsisihan sa lahat ng nangyare," she said while brushing her fingers through my hair. "Mahal ko siya, Addie. Hindi naging madali para sakin 'tong ginawa ko. Ilang beses ko nang sinubukang 'wag ituloy. Pero binabagabag ako ng konsensya ko. Trabaho ko 'to. Sa dami nang kasong nahawakan ko, dito ko lang kinuwestyon ang sarili ko kung tama ba ang pinaglalaban ko," I cried. I sat up and and hug her as I cry my eyes out. "You've been fighting for the right thing. Isn't this the original plan? To raise your child all on your own? Stick with that. Nandito ako," she said as she caress my back. She's right, pero iba na ang lahat. Sa tatlong taon, madami na ang nagiba. Hindi na ako nakapagsalita. Pero Addie was still here, comforting me. "Let's eat. Inaantay ka na ng anak mo. He might not be hurting now, nor understand why her mother was being distant lately. Pero kelangan mong bumawi sa kanya," she said softly. And with that, I compose myself and stand up. "You're right. Thank you for always being wherever I am, Addie. I love you," I sighed. Addie just smiled at me and we hugged. Moments later at the dining table, I start feeding my son. "You know what, anak, you've got your eyes from your papa; so deep, yet so innocent. I really miss your papa," I talked to my son as if he could answer and understand me. "Papa?" My son mumbled. My eyes widened. My son's first word. "Yes, anak. Papa. Do you miss papa?" I don't expect him to answer or to repeat his words, but I'm so happy that he could already say something. Even Addie cried when she heard him. "M-- miss... Papa...," he stuttered. I can't help myself but sob loudly. I turned to Addie and hugged her. Simon giggled as he repeated "papa" while he's playing with his remaining food. "Addie, he talked. I wonder how Xael would react to this. I bet he would be so happy that his son's first word was him. I wish he's here," I sobbed. Addie just smiled. I calmed myself and continue to feed Simon. After dinner, Addie went home. I put Simon to sleep and lay him on our bed. "I should get to work. Madami pang taong nangangailangan ng tulong ko. Hindi ako p'wedeng umiyak nang umiyak para sa isang bagay na ako naman ang may kasalanan," I said to myself. I was about to go to my office when the white envelope on my side table caught my attention. There are no words written. I opened it and saw a folded piece of paper; there's something in it. I unfolded the envelope and something fell to the floor. I was shocked in horror when I saw what's the thing. It was Xael's bracelet. The one I gave him back when we visited his Art Museum. But I was more shocked when I read what's in the paper. "We will meet again soon, Simone."