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Walking on the eggshells

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Blurb

Mason was in love with Alexander for a long time, almost four years now, but in senior year it becomes impossible for him to hide his feelings, the pain, the remorse and the regret. Alexander tells him about Elmore and that's when things goes out of hand, Mason moves away from the group,

He was determined not to let anyone see what he was going through and he was doing good at what he thought, the hide away, his bruised arms, everything was hidden from his father and the group of guys and also Alexander until David caught him hurting himself in the bathroom with a scalpel.

David liked Mason, he really did but looking at him look at Alexander hurt him more than anything, he didn't want Mason to be hurt and no one was to blame here, Elmore; the guy Alex liked was really a genuine person.

But David wanted Mason to get better and also get over Alex, he didn't have a motive, he just wanted the person he like to be the best version of himself,

Would Mason get over Alex, or will David lose both Mason and his fascination for him, find out by reading the book!

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Mason There are infinite kinds of people, their behaviour, personality is a tale for another time. But you know which kind of people leave marks behind them for you which you just can't get rid of even after you do everything? The ones who threaten your identity, these kinds of people challenge you to do better, sometimes for good and sometimes for bad, even worse. They're completely oblivious to the fact that they wear your delicate heart on their stupid sleeve, that they mean the world to you, that you'd do anything for them without blinking your eyelash. Sometimes you cross boundaries you shouldn't, you do. It's simple human psychology; you feel the itch inside you for doing things you're clearly asked not to. It's like a spoon of delicious chocolate cake and your fat ass. You know if you eat it your body is going to react, your skin would start showing signs warning you that you should exercise or cut down on those carbs but do you accept and follow a healthy routine? Absolutely not. You do exactly the opposite, you keep eating without the care of the world. Your attitude with these kinds of people is the same, deep inside your mind you know that when this rush is over you're one who's going to be alone and not them, but you still put yourself up for the destruction that's about to come. Living a lie than accepting reality seems the easy way. You get drawn to them like a moth to the burning flame and then there are times when you pity yourself for your poor choice; them. Stockholm syndrome. Agreed,completely off the topic but I can make it relatable. You don't get kidnapped here, obviously. But your feelings do in such a way that it feels as though you're on their mercy. You allow yourself to walk on the slippery slope. You feel alive when they're around you, your heart skips a beat when they call or text you, is it love? Not every time. No. It's something you can't wrap it in words. At least I know I couldn't till date. But sometimes it is love, and it really sucks because of the fact that you couldn't have them, ever. And the more you think the more you feel like pulling your eyeballs out and throwing them inside a glass filled with water so that no one would notice those tears you cry for them. I call it frustration. The feeling of helplessness consumes you to the pit of your core, it's like an never ending loop, you sometimes decide that you've had enough and you're not going to let that person consume you and you try to move on, you do good in moving on, but one word from that person or one slight glance and the big stone of feelings which was lifting off you crashes on you again with more intensity, you can't get away. The feelings don't get away, you either face them head on or you live with the loop. The more you try to live with the loop the more feelings crash with the stone. "Shh!" I blinked out of my trance and saw a girl with pink hair glaring at me and then down at the bag of carrots I was eating, I didn't pay much mind to her and looked down at the book in front of me, flipping a page I bit into the carrot. Eating away from the group can sometimes be relaxing too. The noise in the cafeteria is pure chaos, plus I have a science test after lunch but clearly I wasn't revising rather I was thinking about the last person I should be obsessing over. My best friend since I could remember; Alexander Blue. Falling for your best friend sucks in ways you don't even know or probably acknowledge. It's the worst feeling ever, worse than not getting the asked gifts on holidays or birthdays. And all the people who do nothing but bullshit on the internet about dating your best friend should stop it and ask for forgiveness, I know those people are going to hell! "Shh!" I looked up to see the same pink haired girl glaring at me, what is her problem? "What?" I whispered leaning on the table. "Stop making those noises, go out and eat. It's a library you punk!" My jaw dropped on the floor, recovering from her harsh words I zip locked the bag filled with pickled carrots and with a mortified face I left the library with a science book in my hand. People are so rude these days as though they find a slight inconvenience and they're ready to pour it out on others, they sure haven't come across the word 'understanding', I thought, rolling my eyes. The bell went off signaling the lunch period is over and the next period has started, after taking in the sight around me I walked to my left for science. "Mason! Man!" I turned around just as Ben decided to swing his hand on my shoulder, his hand hit my face and the book in my hand fell down on the floor, I groaned in pain as my eyes slightly watered. "s**t man, I'm sorry, are you okay?" My eyes were squinted shut in pain, I could feel my nose water, Ben pushed me against the locker and slowly removed my hand from my eyes asking me to open my eyes. "Wait, I can't open them, they burn." I blindly tried to push his hand away from me, "Try slowly, let me see." His soothing voice did nothing to ease my pain. I let my hand fall down and tried opening my eyes, I felt a tissue being shoved in my right hand, "Wipe your nose. Jeez!" He muttered. "I have a science test." I groaned in pain as my eyes started burning, "Man your eyes are crazy red! Let's go to the nurse." He started pulling my hand, pulling my hand out of his grab. I shook my head, "it happens, don't worry." I looked at me with a worried face, "you sure? We both can show the slip to the teacher and reappear for the test." He raised his brow suggestively. "No." He shrugged and started walking with me, I saw pink flyers laying around in the hallway, I tried reading but because of our pace I couldn't keep up for long, I asked Ben. "What are these?" I pointed at one of the pink papers, he glanced at it and grinned. "Byers is throwing a party, she's wild at throwing parties!" He pushed the door of class and turned to me. "Everyone's going, we decided at lunch, you weren't there." He shrugged, "I came to tell you and instead you got hurt." He chuckled, I punched his back and a moment later the teacher walked inside the class. "Hey man, help me with this test yeah?" Ben pleaded behind me, desperation clear in his voice. Shaking my head at his stupidity I nodded. Ben was one hell of a guy! He would die for a friend but then he'd say 'hey man, don't ask me to die though.' The teacher gave me a look before giving me the test paper, quickly scanning through it I concluded that I definitely wasn't going to fail. Half an hour into the test I was pissed at Ben, my ribs were begging for mercy, he had been poking me for each and every answer, it was multiple choice questions for crying out loud! How hard could it actually be? "This is very hard Mason, I think I'm gonna fail." Ben whispered from behind, if the teacher wouldn't have been looking at us like a freaky gawk I would've knocked Ben unconscious! He was marking all the answers that I gave him, yet he had the audacity to say that he thought he was going to fail. After I was sure Ben and I had marked all the answers I helped him with I gave the paper away and walked out of the room, the guy sitting on the seat in front of the door looked at me as if he couldn't believe I gave the paper first. Rolling my eyes I closed the door behind and walked in the hallway. My eyes fell on the girl with pink hair that shushed me in the library, without meeting her eyes I walked past her. Ben was behind me, his footsteps were loud and resonating in the hallway, I moved away from the sound so that he wouldn't try to hurt me if he was; unintentionally. "Are you sure we'll pass the test? I really need at least a B in every subject to play on the team man." His voice was miserable, "Then why don't you just stop goofing around and study for once?" I asked. "I hate studying, and my mother really wants to see me throw the graduation cap in the air after my senior year. I'm just doing it for her." "Where are the others?" Searching the empty hallway, I had no idea where I was going to go. I had history class next and I dreaded nothing more than the teacher and his lectures. "We had a test that's why we're out, others don't have a test." He hit me on the head. "Right!" I dragged the word. Ben was trailing behind me like a lost puppy that had earphones stuffed in his ears and his eyes were precisely stuck in his mobile. I didn't blame him, he despised studying but he liked playing football, he was the quarterback after all. Ben and I went to the library, I asked him if he wanted to sit with me in the library where I was going to complete the biology test that was given two days ago. Ben was alright with it, as I completed the test I kept on glancing at Ben to see what he was doing, Ben was sitting on the floor between two aisles listening to music and reading a book that I assumed was on football, because it had a model or an athlete I couldn't really tell on its cover. He was a sucker for football. Someone cleared their throat, I looked up to see Martin and Alex standing with grins on their faces, I sighed knowing why they were excited. "Before you blackmail me guys, I will think about the party, I'm not in the mood." Martin obnoxiously pulled the chair behind making screeching noise on the floor of the silent library, I widened my eyes at him as he sat down. "What the hell Martin, it's a library!" "So?" He rolled his eyes, Alex sat down quietly on the chair. "People are trying to concentrate in the quiet." I raised my brow. Martin showed his thumb towards Ben on the ground, he was still reading, it didn't look like he was affected by the noise Martin caused. "If you're focused enough nothing can distract you." Martin shrugged. "And that's a s**t philosophy, kindly keep it to yourself." "Hey!" Matin flipped the book I had in my hand. "And that's a s**t philosophy kindly keep it to yourself." Martin mocked me. "Alright, will you pick me up for the party or should I just drop by your house?" Alex asked, cutting Martin off. His voice was so dreamy, it never failed to give me goosebumps on my body, it was as though he knew how I felt about him and he was deliberately trying to make me lose all the might I had in me and confess my feelings for him. "I'm not sure if I'm coming." I clicked my tongue, looking at Alex. "This isn't done! You didn't even come to the sleepover last Sunday!" Alex frowned. "I was literally out of the town with my dad, it was my mother's birthday." I said quietly. "Sure. I'll be there fifteen minutes before we leave." Martin hit my back and they both left, I looked over at Ben, scratching my back where Martin hit me. We both did our work quietly, there was no news of David, I didn't even see him today, he usually shared English and biology with me. Today I marked him present in English and also in biology that was before science. "Hey Ben!" I tried calling Ben, his eyes were deeply dug in the book, and his ears were stuffed as always. "Ben!" I tried calling him again, he didn't look at me, pressing my lips together I looked down, my pencil was beside the book, taking it in my hand I threw at him. The pencil hit his cheek, he jerked away from the pencil and it fell on the ground. "What the…" he trailed off, Ben pulled his earphones out and looked at me, I gestured for him to come here. "Why isn't David around?" I asked. "Ugh..he went with his father to drop his sister at college..something like that." He chuckled. "What's there to chuckle about, tell me the joke." I couldn't stop myself. Ben leaned towards me and laughed more, his eyes closed. "The guys at lunch were saying he has stopped to screw some older chicks." He laughed more. "And the joke is?" I narrowed my eyes. Ben tilted his head, giving me a look, "Mason man that is the joke. Younger guys screwing older women." "No.." I shook my head. "Did I hit you hard, are you okay?" He searched my face with his hand and when I was least expecting it he threw a slap on my face with the back of his hand. "Real mature." I coughed, I hated how easily my eyes watered. "Come on, it's time for my biology class." He shrugged. I closed my books and asked Ben to bring my pencil I threw at him earlier, we both walked out of the library and parted our ways. Throughout the history class I kept on thinking as to why exactly I chose history, I clearly didn't like the chapter, neither the teacher nor was the subject interesting enough so that I'd develop some kind of interest later on at some point as I developed interest in physics when the Sound chapter was being explained. There were some hard decisions in my life that I took and regretted later, choosing History class was definitely one of them. Now you might think, did I plan to fall for Alex in a dept that now all I can ever think is him, then the answer is a no. Because if I had known the pain, the sheer anguish and misery would follow with intense warmth, besottedness and infatuation I would've gladly stayed away from him. Everyday I feel a chunk of my soul is just shutting down, the day isn't far on which I would randomly get up and when asked if I still have faith in humanity, my answer would be no. Because when you feel intense emotions even when you breathe the lump in your heart that somehow has connection to your lungs hurt, well I hurt at least. No matter how much you dig your nails in your palms in a fist that doesn't go away. No matter how much you shriek. It's been roughly four years since I finally admitted that I'm in love with him, his dreamy eyes and sexy voice and the way he candidly moves himself, even the stupidest thing, I find it adorable. I know, I asked myself the same thing, how much of a freak could I be to fall for my best friend? And you know what I did when it was time to answer, I took a deep breath and the lump, it hurt. For the umpteenth time. When the class was over the girl with braces that always say either behind me of beside me shook me from my trance, she was standing beside me with a warm smile on her face, "Hi." She said. "Hi," I wanted to busy myself packing my bag but I was so stubborn I didn't even pull out any books for the lecture, I was clueless and only David shared this class with me, and of course he had to be absent today. I groaned in my throat. "Yes, so the teacher has given a report that we have to fill and submit on Thursday so I was wondering if we both could do it together?" No. "Ahem..actually a friend has already asked me, he just texted me before leaving...but sure. We can do it together." I smiled. There was no other choice, I had to! David didn't know anything about the report, how would he help me? I thought. "Great, I have practice today after this so tomorrow, can you meet me by the pool after school tomorrow?" She asked. "Sure." I shook my hand with her. We didn't even share names, and I thought it was better, I could tell she was going to ask me out, I wasn't being over confident, no. But I could feel it. I've even seen her at the Subway joint I work at. Swinging my bag on my shoulder I left the classroom, just as the teacher stopped me. "Mr Greene." She said, I looked up at the ceiling rolling my eyes. Turning to her I smiled. I honestly didn't even know her name. "Yes," I tilted my head confidently, hoping she would tell me her last name. "Miss Dexter." She sighed. "Of course. Yes Miss Dexter?" "I want you to stop zoning out and actually pay mind in the class, it's your senior year after all. There are going to be projects and tests..there's only so much time left." She explained. "I'm sorry, I will do my best Miss Dexter." She nodded at me and got back to the papers in her hand after dismissing me. Ben, Martin and Alex were standing near my car in the parking lot after school. They waved at me as I approached them, I suddenly felt like not dealing with it. It often happened when I saw Alex, the feeling of hopelessness that I'd never have him, never left me. "Are you okay man, you look pale." Martin said, "Sure." I nodded my head. "Cool. See you all at the party." Martin almost jumped from against my car, "Whom are you doing today?" Ben wiggled his brows. "Kaitlyn from Sociology." Martin smirked. "She's literally STD on legs." I gagged. "Martin is no less, aren't you now Martin? Can you tell us how many girls you did in this senior year?" Ben punched him. "Shut up! It's not my fault fellas if they like this package." Martin pointed towards his chest and face. "Oh please, you'd screw the dog that lives next door to you." Alex rolled his eyes, the turtleneck he wore looked amazing on him and the black skinny jeans were out of the syllabus. It never stopped blowing my mind away. "Joke's on you, there's actually a cat that lives next door to me and it's quite well behaved, it even loves me." Martin threw back. "Let's disperse, I have to do my homework and go to work." I said, pulling my keys out of my jeans pocket. Martin and Ben went to their cars, Alex hopped inside mine and we all pulled out of the school ground. Our house was quite near the school but we still preferred to ride rather than walk. Too much effort. "You know if the job is tiring you then you can quit, your father doesn't need a hand in money." Alex muttered. I turned to the right, driving straight ahead to Alex's home. "That's not the issue..I like working, keeps my mind off things." And you. I wanted to add desperately but I didn't. "Okay..which subject homework do you have?" He asked, "Um...History I guess," "Okay." Alex got down from the car and walked inside his house. He waved at me from his door and closed it as he walked inside. I swallowed. Throwing my head back on the seat and driving towards my house. Our houses were very near, like one block away. I saw dad's car outside and sighed, here we go with the questions, I thought sarcastically. I opened the door with my spare key quietly and closed the door, it would make noise so I left it a little ajar and tried to walk upstairs on the left. The kitchen was just in front of the main door and my house reeked of chile, so dad was surely in the kitchen. "Caught you!" I dropped the keys from my hand and looked at my dad, he chuckled, shoving the ladle he had in his hand in the pocket of his apron. "Jesus, dad!" My hand went to my chest, closing my eyes as I took calm breaths. "I'm sorry, but I thought you were going to your room without meeting me." He raised his brow. "I was. I have to do some homework and go to work." I shrugged. "Mason.." he groaned. I knew why that groan happened, he hated that I went to work, in the starting of the semester I told him I'd like to work and save some money for college, he was disappointed, I thought I was being responsible enough not to depend on him for the tuition fees. A week later without informing him I joined work and two months later he got to know about it, he was doing my laundry and found the cap and my apron with my name printed on it. "Dad it's just one year, others start working from their junior year," I tried to reason, he hung his head low. "Okay how about I do my homework here with you, while you cook?" We both were good at bargaining, his face lit up. Smiling bright at him, I threw my bag on the couch and hugged him, he was my old man and I knew better than to throw my pain and sorrow in my heart at him. "Come on." He patted my back. Dad made a sandwich and got back to the chile he was making, after he was done he cleaned the island and got back to his office work. I really wanted to do my homework but I had no idea what the History report was about, and David wasn't there so I couldn't really do anything, after thinking for a moment I sent David a text. 'Miss Dexter has given some report writing as homework, do you know what it's about?' I typed as fast as I could. Turning to my dad I saw him sipping on bourbon. He loved his alcohol. My phone didn't go off with any notification so I assumed David might be busy, I turned to dad. "You have a standard in your office so is it like, okay if you drink at office hours?" I asked. He pushed his glasses up with his fingers and raised his brow at me. "I don't drink in the office," he stated. "Of course. You're a man of your discipline, but you're drinking here." I said. "This isn't my office." "Touché, you're still working because you're not at your office." I chuckled. Rolling his eyes as he gulped down the remaining of the bourbon and slid the glass across the table. "Sometimes I think if I've birthed you or the other way round." "Technically mum had birthed me...so.." I narrowed my eyes, he looked up at the clock reading the time. "Get going, it's time for your shift." He said. I took my books and my bag upstairs and got into my work clothes, it was a black t-shirt and balcony jeans, the cap with logo and the apron with my name on it. I preferred wearing my clothes here than in the locker room because my other two colleagues usually did wrong things there and I found it disgusting. We have to wear the hairnet and gloves which I wore at the joint itself. It was time I left and I couldn't find my phone, I was getting irritated, raising the pillow. I looked for it again and didn't find it. Rolling my eyes and taking the car keys I dashed out of my room and down in the living room. "Here, you phone." Dad called me, turning around as I saw my phone in his hand, "Why do you have it?" I asked. "You forgot it here, and David called.." he said. "Did you answer?" I asked. "Yeah, he said he will send you the report in an hour." Dad shrugged. After saying bye to dad I left, I even had to think about the party the guys were forcing me to go. I was feeling lousy today and all I could see was my bed and my books maybe. Parking the car across the street I got out with my duffle bag and closed the door. Pulling on the gloves and the hairnet I pushed the door open. Luther was behind the counter making a sub that the cute girl standing in front of him ordered, I sanitized my hands and got beside him on the other side of the counter.. "Sky is doing my shift today." He murmured. "Shit." ☆☆☆

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