Beyond The Table Thus The Boundary

The door was not opened completely when he rushed inside. He dashed to the toilet bowl and threw everything inside his stomach up. The one opening the door gasped in shock but he cooled several milliseconds later. After ensuring the locked door, he made his way to the toilet and approached the first man. Seeing him panting after puking, the second man crouched on the floor and his one hand patted the back to soothe him down.             “Was it too bad?” Takuya tore a few pieces of toilet papers and wiped the sweat emerged in beads from the forehead.             “It’s so painful,” the other one, named Takato, replied in between his pant, “I don’t remember eating anything this morning.”             “I’m sorry, but this is for your sake, Takato,” Takuya combed Takato’s fringe backward, revealing his whole pallid face. Takato was miserably sick, and seeing him throwing up somehow has caused him to feel a little guilt.             “It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s not even yours,” Takato flushed the toilet and, with the assistance of Takuya, he got up. He went to the sink, washed both of his hands, and his face. He gazed at the mirror, taking some time to digest his own expression, before a long sigh escaped from his mouth.             Takuya’s hand grabbed Takato’s shoulders. It could be caused by the treatment; he realized Takato’s limbs were, as if they were, shrunken. Even Takato’s whole appearance has changed; he seemed so timid compared to how he looked like around three months ago. Deep inside, Takuya cursed to himself for not being able to help Takato even further than this. Being with the little brother of his, plus supporting his treatment cost, were all he could have done so far. Even though Takato did seem deteriorating, Takuya has never wished of anything worse than hoping for a longevity of Takato.             “You worried too much,” Takato chuckled at Takuya, “I’m okay. No need to worry that much.”             “Takato,” Takuya pursed his lips. It was a big fat lie if he was not noticing the transformation of Takato’s cheerfulness in his routine. Takato used to tease him a lot but he was a very kind-hearted youth. He has always tried hard to improve himself and never hesitated on lending a hand. “You can always rely on me.”             “For sure,” Takato grinned ear to ear. “You are the only family I have now, Takuya,” his eyes drooped, and his tone slumped.             As for Takato, it was too obvious that he was utterly disappointed. He never thought he would be diagnosed having such disease, and it shortened his mortality. What regretted him the most was Takuya, his only big brother, would be left alone in this harsh world. Takuya was the only family he had; their parents were killed in a traffic accident when they were eight and six respectively, and since then they were raised by a relative. Right when they were big enough to live and gain money by themselves, the relative gave them choices to keep on living. Thus they chose to live by their own.             Passing away was undoubtedly not the best alternative.             “Takuya, you cry.”             The startled Takuya blinked to let a few more tear droplets rolled down his cheeks, “I’m sorry. What did you say?”             “I didn’t say anything, Takuya,” Takato laughed. Takuya has daydreamt further than he thought, and he has successfully brought Takuya back to reality, “Are you hungry?”             The sound of stomach growling butted in. Takuya gasped as he never guessed his hungriness would cause such ruckus. He hit on Takato’s forearm lightly as the little brother did not seem to cease from laughing.             “So, what do you want to eat?”             Takuya took an apron from the hanger in the kitchen and wore them swiftly. He was quick in almost everything, including acknowledging Takato’s illness last time. He was at first denying the fact that there was something wrong with Takato’s body, until one day that little brother was found lying and coughing blood in the bedroom. He sent him to the hospital, and the result was never into his liking.             “A porridge is enough.”             Takuya turned to the innocent Takato. Takato did not seem to unmask his sadness, but he still portrayed it subconsciously. Takuya fished out the ingredients and they were enough for making a porridge for two of them.             “You don’t have to eat porridge too, Takuya.”             Takato’s word was totally ignored. Takuya chopped the veggies and began boiling water. He rinsed the rice with filtered water and put it aside while waiting for the water on the stove to simmer. He prepared the veggies in small bowls. And those were enough for two portions.             “Takuya-“             “I want to eat porridge too,” Takuya huffed while pointing Takato’s nose with a ladle. “I didn’t do this just to please you. Don’t get so full of yourself.”             The water simmered and elevated in the pot. Takuya poured the rice into it. He then leant his back against the wall nearest to the stove while his eyes fixated on Takato. He did try - to stay composed. Takato was getting skinnier as time flew, and it was not a good scenery to gaze upon. Even the skin was becoming whitish as if he shed new skin every single day. It wrenched his heart to the point he might suddenly cry of disapproval.             “Porridge is not that nutritious for a human like you. You need more than a porridge,” Takato mumbled, but Takuya was still listening it well enough.             His voice was still clear though.             “Are you talking to yourself?” Takuya smirked at the latter. He stirred the boiling ingredients.”             Takato shifted to an unknown direction his pair of eyes brought to. “At least you will live longer than I will.”             Takuya put in the veggie into the pot. He stirred them altogether.             “Then I will make it nutritious for both of us,” he said without even caught a glimpse of Takato, “This will be done soon. You can wait outside.”             There were a few seconds of pause before Takato paced outside the kitchen as instructed by Takuya. As he waited for the veggies to become soft in the porridge, he wiped two clean bowls and put them together with two spoons. He then transferred the porridge into each of the bowls and served them on the dining table. Takato was sitting there with his knees on the chair and he was literally hugging them together.             “I’ll wash the dishes.”             Takuya hissed, disagreeing Takato’s offer. “No, you stay still. I will do the chores. You need more rest than me.”             “But I don’t-“             “No buts.”             Takato pulled a pout. Takuya pampered him too much, as if he was a princess or such. He disliked how Takuya discouraged him from doing anything. He was sick, but that did not mean he could do nothing. He still could lift up his hands, and he still could walk leisurely. He still could do anything, basically, but Takuya hindered from all those.             Takuya took his seat across the table. Takato, with his pursed lips, secretly glanced at his big brother. Takuya was about to dig in when he noticed Takato’s deed.             “I don’t want to eat porridge.”             Both of Takuya’s eyebrows raised simultaneously. “Why?”             “I want to eat many delicious food from today.”             It was more to a mumble, but Takuya surely noticed Takato’s strict tone. He was demanding something else right before his food cooked by Takuya. “We will, for tonight’s dinner.”             “No, I want it now!”             Out of the blue, Takato slammed the dining table with his palms. He sounded enraged and was about to throw tantrum. Takuya gaped in disbelief as he never thought Takato would behave childishly.             “Takato, what-“             It was in split seconds; Takato flipped his porridge over. Everything spilt and messed the table, right before Takuya’s eyes. Takato rose abruptly until his chair fell onto the floor, and he distanced himself from the table.             “I said I want it now!”             “Takato!”             Takuya tried as fast as he could to grab Takato in his embrace. Takato continuously went on rampage and even laid a punch on Takuya’s cheekbone. A bluish bruise marked the face, yet Takuya did not seem to even chirp. Takato struggled to free himself from Takuya’s strong grip, but he was weak in the first place. Minutes of battling, Takato could not keep on, thus he fell onto his knees. The clueless Takuya guarded him so that he could land his butt on the floor as slowly as he should be.             “Please, Takato.”             Takuya’s shivering voice soothed Takato down. He gradually shifted to him, witnessing his big brother’s fallen egoism. Tear droplets dripped onto his shirt. “Takuya. If I requested tasty food, you would eat tasty food too, right?” he hiccupped, “I should’ve died, right? All these days I’ve burdened you with... all these are such a nuisance to you, right?”             “No, Takato! No!” Takuya immersed his face onto Takato’s shoulder, “Please. Don’t ever mention about death before me. I’ve- had enough of lost. I can’t afford more.”             “Then, Takuya. You don’t have to force yourself for my sake. I will eventually die, and you still have way ahead in your life.”             “You are my only family, Takato!” Takuya shook Takato’s body until the younger blinked in fright, “I won’t let you die that easily! I will cure you! I will find you the best doctor, even if it costs my entire life!”             “No, you shouldn’t,” Takato untangled Takuya’s gripping arms on him, “You don’t have to sacrifice your life for me. This disease is curable, but it proliferates quite fast too. So,” he turned to face Takuya, “whether I heal first, or I die first, neither of us know.”             “Takato, I warn you not to ever mention about death-“             “Then you don’t have to suit everything for me,” Takato cut him off, “You still can eat properly. You are still a healthy fellow. You can do everything you are supposed to do as a 20-years-old young man. You - “ His gaze shifted away from Takuya’s point of view, “You can even leave me.”             “No, Takato,” Takuya gritted his teeth. “I won’t leave you-“             “But I will bring you misfortune-“             “Who taught you saying so?” Takuya cupped Takato’s cheek with his one hand, “You are not anyone else. You are my little brother, you are my family. It’s natural to have your family doing something for the sake of your life, and you should not have experienced guilt because of it.”             “Takuya.”             No one could ever turn back time. No one could avoid mishap. Sooner or later, that one fate would eventually arrive. Takuya cuddled his little brother as firm as he could, lending some strength to the latter. No matter how fatigued he was, he did not need to endure the effects of chemotherapy all alone. He was not the one losing strands of hair, and he too was not the one deteriorating.             “Please, Takato. Don’t die.”