Pulling Through

Disclaimer: All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission ------------------------ Ally jumped out of the van while Gus was still finishing parking outside their place and raced upstairs to the entrance.  She opened it and barged inside, rushing to the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind her. Once in there, she took a deep breath and looked at the package she was holding in her hand. She sat on the toilet and extracted the white device from the elongated box and, discarding the instruction pamphlet, she proceeded to open it and pee all over it. She put the cap back on and turned it facing downwards over the sink. Her eyes avoiding its sight. She held her head between her hands as she waited, her thoughts a mess of fears and mixed emotions at the possibilities... Her hope so high, that it broke her heart. -Ally- Gus called her from outside the bathroom and she heard him slide to the floor on the other side - It would be easier if we both looked at it at the same time. Just open the door. She felt her tears roll down her cheeks at his words. -I´m so tired of this s**t! Why does it have to be so hard?- she cried shutting her eyes and rubbing her hands over them, furiously. This was not the first time she´d been sitting there, doing the exact same thing, and she was afraid it wouldn´t be the last either, for a long while. Every time she saw that negative result, it just crushed her soul. And then, the worst part of it all was the relief she felt afterwards, when she realized she wouldn´t have to deal with such a huge responsibility yet. She felt so guilty about it. Because as much as she longed for it, she was also scared shitless at the same time and the thought of it actually becoming real someday, simply terrified her. -It´s a long road Ally- Gus´s voice answered her patiently from behind the door- And I´m here to walk it with you. You just need to take my hand, princess, c´mon. She remained seated for another minute, her hands rolling a strand of hair around, before finally groaning and reaching to open the door. She found him sitting outside and she went to settle down beside him. He threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. -It´s ok princess, if it´s not meant to be this time, we can always keep trying… that´s the fun part anyway. -I just feel so frustrated and useless- Ally sighed- And I have these awful, hateful thoughts the whole time Gus, sometimes I don´t even recognize myself… I resent every doctor we´ve been to, I resent other women for being fertile. I resent other people for being happy. I don’t know if I want to keep doing this anymore. -Ally, if you want to call this off, then we call it off. You just have to say the words. I just need you to be happy, love. She looked down to her feet and scratched her head a little. -I don´t know Gus, I honestly don´t know what I really want right now… I just feel so overwhelmed. I want it to be over. But I also don´t. And I hate myself for being this way. -Well, it´s only normal- he replied pecking her cheek- It is a tough process. He reached for her hand and pulled her up -C´mon lets make some tea while we wait. She followed him to the kitchen and sat on a stool by the counter while he poured some water into the kettle. She entertained herself watching his hands move around, brewing their tea. Her mind spacing out, her eyes traveling down his rear. Ally stood up and walked up to him, hugging his back. He held her hands onto his chest and they both stood there for a while. The silence interrupted a moment later by the kettle whistling. He grabbed two cups and fixed some tea into each of them, then he handed her one. -Thanks- she said grabbing it carefully, she took a sip, staring at him and sighing. -It´s ok princess, don´t worry- he said running a finger down her cheek as he drank from his own cup- remember what the doc said, we still have plenty of options. -You know what bothers me the most? – she puffed- The fact that I´m sure you would make such a wonderful father, and I´m just keeping you away from that. She felt another treacherous tear emerge from her eye and she hurried herself to rub it away. -You are not doing anything Ally- he replied hugging her tightly- we got this, just relax, we´re gonna be fine. They drank in silence, slowly downing the hot liquid and staring at the calendar on the wall. When Gus went to stand up to get his cup to the sink, she reached her hand and grabbed his arm to stop him from walking away. -Please baby- she begged- just make me feel good. He looked into her face, frowning a little, then his eyes sparkled. -Come here princess- he smiled pushing her up the kitchen counter and spreading her legs. He reached down her skirt and pulled her panties down, then he lowered his face to her core and started licking it softly. She moaned, opening her legs a little further and running her fingers through his head absentmindedly. -Oh yes baby- she cried- Oh god! Gus! She arched her back, shaking at the feeling of his tongue ravishing her, his lips gently kissing her and making her core swell with pleasure. He kept licking her up and down, exploring her viciously, making her scream. Her hands holding to the edge of the counter, looking for some support. He rubbed his tongue expertly through all her gap, always pausing in the perfect moment, then picking up his pace again, making it agonizingly pleasurable. She screamed his name over and over as she came loudly unto his face. He kissed her folds one last time, moaning against her, before pulling himself up and unzipping his pants. -Ok baby- he said ramming himself inside her- now let´s make you feel real good. He pounded her eagerly, her moans echoing through the kitchen, his grunts joining her as she finished once again and her juices ran down his shaft and pubes. -Yes! Oh Ally! Oh my god!- he exclaimed releasing his load inside her. And in that very moment, Ally´s mind went immediately back to the test waiting for them in the bathroom and she couldn´t help the sadness that invaded her once again, feeling his seed swarming her useless core. -Hey, look at me- he said pulling her chin up- It´s gonna be fine baby, I´m here for you- he kissed her, smiling- Now, let´s go and take a peek. He pulled out of her and adjusted his pants, reaching for her hand. They tiptoed into the bathroom, and her eyes darted to the pregnancy test lying there, almost innocently. Gus took a deep breath and went to pick it up. Ally´s eyes welled up at the sight of the display, images of the past few years rolling around her mind…