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A Daughter's Love

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A Pirate's Song - Book 3.

Want to know more about what happened to Evangeline and Caleb after the separation? What about their new life in France? Perhaps what Amun's punishment was for her role in entrapping Neptune? The gender of Rebecca and Nolan's child? This book will take place between times, between Evangeline's life after the separation and 18 years later when a new love is formed between two very different souls.

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Prologue.
Shortly after the separation.                                                                                         Evangeline. My eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the sight of the room in front of me, the red Persian carpet, the dresser, desk and armchair that sat in the far corner of the room. It was all so familiar, it was home yet there was a part of me that didn’t associate any of it with home anymore. Home was a set of arms, either burning hot or icy cold. I hugged the sheets closer to my body, lowering my head to hide it beneath the fabrics, my face buried in the pillows. Maybe if I slept long enough or dreamed more often I would see his face again? I would go back to that room with the koi pond or the desert temple? My eyes stung with unshed tears, forcing me to squeeze them tightly shut, gritting my teeth to hold back the growing desire to start sobbing again. It was then that a hand reached for me, gently rubbing at my arm, causing my entire body to go rigged and my eyes to open wide. It wasn’t the familiar cold touch that I desired but it was close enough. My skin exploded in flames and my heart skipped a beat from both shock and longing. I curled in on myself and tried hiding away, not wanting to face him in such a vulnerable, exposed state. It had been almost ten days and still I had refused to leave the bed other than when Caleb would insist on bathing me. I hadn’t eaten in nearly three, spoken in nine and my body ached from not having moved much in so long “Ye have to eat something” Caleb tried to reason with me, his weight causing the mattress to dip beside me. I said nothing, instead I just continued to fight back the tears, not wanting to cry when it was all I had been doing for so long. Caleb sighed and removed his hand from my arm “He would want ye to eat” it was the first time he had brought up the sea god since the separation. I bit my tongue, my eyes fogging over but the whimper escaped me none the less to which Caleb pulled the covers away from me. I squeezed my eyes shut, hugging my hands to my chest, hiding my face behind their clenched fists with my knees brought up, pressing against my forehead. The image he saw was of a wounded woman, broken and alone with no fight left to give after just having fought a war that had completely destroyed her, had left her without purpose, without a will to go on. Caleb bent down to scoop me into his arms, holding me protectively to his chest when he began carrying me in the direction of the armchair. I kept my eyes closed, feeling as my body rocked back and forth in time with his movements, his heartbeat thundering in my ears. He took a seat with me in his lap, his chin propped up on the top of my head with his arms winding themselves around my torso and legs “He gave ye this life-.” Caleb said, the words harsher than intendent but they were something that I needed to hear. My body had grown thinner, my ribs poking through the material of my nightgown, my cheeks having sunken in as dark circles surrounded my eyes and my skinny limbs felt like they could shatter at the slightest touch like glass “Don’t let his sacrifice be in vane by allowing for yeself to wither away without putting up a fight-.” the silent tears stopped falling and my eyes shot open to stare straight ahead at the floor, the red carpet and the stairs that led to above deck beyond it. I hadn’t seen the sky or sea in over ten days, hadn’t swam in longer “Ye must live, if not for yeself then for him” those words, those simple words were like a slap across the face, a realization of what I had been doing being wrong. I was starving myself, was licking my own wounds when there were people who cared about me, who worried tirelessly about whether I would be alright but more importantly Neptune was most likely out there somewhere, watching over me, saddened by the state our separation had left me in. My lips parted, eyes staring at the wall ahead of me “I know” it had been the first words I had spoken since the separation and it came out raspy, crackling from how dry my throat was, my vocal cords rubbing up against each other, vibrating. Caleb froze, not sue if he had imagined it but when I lowered my hands away from my face and revealed it to his eyes, he could see the agony that still resided there, the torment that brought suffering upon my soul. He placed his hand to the side of my face and pressed my head into his shoulder, comforting me by whispering words of encouragement or hope into my ear “We’ll be getting through this” he promised, leaning back into the chair, his arms never once letting go of their hold on me as he closed his tired eyes, exhausted from always worrying about me, from spending hours upon hours at my side, checking up on me, bathing me or trying to convince me to eat something, anything. I raised my head enough to take in the sight of his features, his wrinkled forehead, the bags beneath his closed eyes, the unkempt hair and the beard that had been starting to form on his chin from not having shaven in so long. I reached up, running my fingers along his chin, causing his eyes to burst open and his head to raise, eyes meeting mine. I hadn’t allowed him to kiss my lips in so long, hadn’t run my hands across his skin or tasted the salt and sweat that coated his skin. It hadn’t been intentional, if I had chosen Neptune, I was sure that my depression would have been the same, it was just my bodies way of coping with the loss of one of them but it wasn’t working anymore. I wanted to forget, to not recognize the face of the god when it surfaced in the back of my mind. I wanted to erase his name, his lips whispering mine, his cool flesh and gentle touches. I didn’t want to remember because perhaps then I could cope. It had been on the tenth day that I decided to eat, to continue living but to also to busy myself with whatever tasks I could in an attempt to distract myself. I would spend hours cleaning the ship, not speaking or acknowledging anyone other than Caleb as I sat on my knees, scrubbing endlessly at the deck. I organized the books and maps in the navigation room, I even started cooking, serving the crew something a bit more tasteful than ordinary broth, mixing in various herbs and flavours that I could find below deck when cleaning out the scullery. I polished the heavy chain of the anchor and sanded down the railings to coat them in a new layer of polish. Anything, anything to distract me long enough so that I didn’t have time to remember, to picture his face. Ben and Nolan were sat on the deck during my cleaning and watched me one morning, their eyes held so much sadness and pity that it made me sick by just glancing in their direction. I didn’t want sympathy, I wanted to forget and them reminding me that I should be in pain didn’t help “The poor, las” Nolan was saying, under the belief that I couldn’t hear him despite my increased hearing. I wrung out the cloth I had used to scrub the deck with and continued scrubbing until my knuckles began to bleed. I hardly noticed but Ben did “She hasn’t been sleeping much” Ben informed which had been the truth. At first it was all I did because I knew that I would see his face in my dreams if I dreamt long enough but now I didn’t want the reminder of his features so I tried staying awake for as long as I possibly could. I hadn’t slept in just over two days and my vision was starting to blur but I ignored it, pulling my hand away from the cloth to examine the bleeding knuckles. I sat back on my knees, flexing my hand but there was no pain, not even a dull burning. Could my heartbreak have been so agonizing that it had suppressed all other forms of pain? “She be working herself to death” Nolan muttered, glancing in my direction only to turn his back to me, afraid that I might catch on to their topic of conversation. I wanted to snap at them, to yell that I was fine and that there was nothing wrong with me but I merely gritted my teeth and got back to work, scrubbing tirelessly at the droplets of blood that kept escaping my wound but never once getting up to go treat it “If she ain’t already dead” my movements stilled at Nolan’s words but it was only for a brief moment before I continued on. Maybe I was dead? Maybe I was just clinging to a life that I had already given up on? Neptune’s face flickered past my eyes, the ivory flesh, the black beard and neatly combed hair, his sapphire blue eyes filled with so much love that it made my heart squeeze and my throat tighten up. I tightly shut my eyes, willing the image away but it wouldn’t leave, it remained, causing a strangled cry to escape my lips, catching the attention of those around me. My hand let go of the cloth and I rose to my feet, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from escaping until I could reach the Captain’s quarters where I would fall to my knees beside the bed and burry my face into the sheets, biting down on them, clenching them in my trembling hands to try and stop myself from being heard. I had never wanted to die more than I did in that moment but then I would leave Caleb behind, I would shatter his heart more than the sight of me in such a state already did. I lay beside him that night, curled with my back toward him and refusing to sleep. I could hear his faint snores and knew that he had long since fallen into a deep slumber which was deep enough for me to crawl out of the bed and search the room for my heart locket until I found it on the nightstand where it always resided. I took it and headed above deck to where a few lanterns hung glowing brightly against the dark. There was no one there when I stepped onto the bow, opening the locket to hear the familiar tune playing out around me. I waited for it to end, humming along with the song that I had first heard as a little girl then balled my hand around it. My eyes gazed out onto the open sea, lifeless and cold when I pulled my arm back and threw the charm as hard as I could, the black marks that represented the gods’ blessings still evident against my ivory skin. I yelled out in a mixture of agony and frustration while I watched the necklace sour through the air, breaking through the surface, sinking ever lower into the ocean’s depths. I slid down to the deck of the bow, pressing my back against the railing with my arms winding themselves around my knees which were pressed firmly up against my chest. I hid my face in one of my palms, refusing to cry yet a single tear still managed to escape, my shoulders shaking violently and my whimpers quiet enough for no one to hear me, not even the winking stars that hovered overhead. The next day I continued cleaning but the thoughts wouldn’t go away. I hoped that Neptune had somehow received the locket and my mind kept wondering to him until I had enough of it. I banged my fist into the ship’s railing, causing everyone around me to jump and Caleb to carefully watch me for fear of what I might do next but instead I just ran my shaking hands through my hair and propped my elbows up on the railing, taking in deep, trembling breaths as an attempt to calm myself with my head still grasped between my palms. I had often wondered many times before whether my suffering was the punishment that Amun had said would come. Was it his way of reminding me of my wrong doings by having entrapped Neptune? How does one survive something so agonizing? How can one even stand to breathe when every single breath hurt so much? Every time I would cook, I’d find my eyes lingering upon the knives for too long, contemplating whether I had the strength to drive one of them deep into my chest but then my mind would go to Caleb and I’d brush away those morbid, dark thoughts. I couldn’t abandon him, not when he needed me, not when his happiness depended on me. I had to smile again, had to learn to live without it hurting, without Neptune’s memory constantly hovering over me like a dark cloud. It was why that night when Caleb came to bed, I was waiting for him. Perhaps touching him, getting lost in him would distract me long enough for my heart to beat strongly again? Even if it was just for an hour or so. When he entered the Captain’s quarters he tugged his coat from his shoulders and discarded it on the armchair in the corner, not noticing that I had risen from the bed, wearing nothing but the flesh that I had. My hands snaked around his waist to the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head to press my chest flat against his exposed back. He froze the moment he had felt my fingertips skimming over his bare skin and turned his head to glance down at me “Love?” he questioned when I began trailing kisses along his shoulder and back. It was then that he turned abruptly to look at me. I hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten because of my depression yet there I was, asking for him, begging for him to take me. It was normal for him to be worried which is why concern swirled in his golden gaze and his eyebrows furrowed up in confusion. I ran my fingertips along his chest, his stomach, arms and took one of his hands in mine, leading him toward the bed where I climbed on top of it, sat on my knees, facing the man that stood before me. He wasn’t sure how to react but allowed me to lead him, allowed my hands to roam freely across the skin, the markings from his waist to his chest, neck and face. I sat up on my knees to press my lips gently against his. It had been the first kiss we had shared in just under half a month. His eyes closed to savour the taste of my lips but his hands stayed at his sides, balling into fists when I pulled away “We can’t” he objected, opening his clouded gaze to lock it with mine. He wasn’t sure whether it was something I really wanted, whether I was in the right state of mind or if I could even allow for him to touch me without bursting into tears at the thought of Neptune. I closed my eyes, willing away the image of the god and pressed my forehead to Caleb’s, hands trailing down to fiddle with the buckle of his belt “I need this-.” I argued, opening my eyes long enough to convey to him that I knew what I was doing and could never regret it. A long breath escaped his nostrils as my fingers worked to unbutton his trousers. It was then that his hands shot up to grab hold of my wrists, preventing them from continuing to do sinful things to him. The fire that blazed inside his eyes was one of lust, of need and desire yet I could tell he was fighting it because of his love and worry for me. My gaze softened and I parted my lips “Please” the single word escaped in a whispered plea before I leaned forward and connected our lips once more. In that moment he gave in, letting go of my wrists to caress the sides of my face in his large palms. The kisses were sweet, gentle and slow but my hands were desperate, one of which dipping low to disappear beneath the waistband of his trousers. He grunted and pulled away from me only to crawl his way on top of me, gently laying me down among the pillows and sheets. His hand wouldn’t move to choke me; his touches weren’t rough nor was his voice demanding or dominant like usual as if he was afraid that I would break due to my already fragile state. I tried to keep my eyes open throughout most of it, not wanting to close them for fear of the sea god’s face staring back at me. I constantly reminded myself that the man above me was Caleb and not him. I moaned into his shoulder, hands clawing at his back, my thoughts having completely stopped, the world growing increasingly silent. It was bliss, pure and uninterrupted bliss simply because I could think about something other than the separation or my own agony. I threw my head back, gaze staring upward and back arching when he continued to move his hips against me, first backwards then slamming them forward, hard, quick and precise. A gasp fluttered from my lips, one of my legs wrapped around him. It wasn’t fast or intense but slow and gentle like it had been that night with-I leaned up to capture Caleb’s lips, our tongues mingling together, the taste of alcohol and musk intoxicating. Once done, Caleb had fallen onto the mattress beside me and I sat up, wrapping my arms around my legs and propping my chin up on my knees. That night had been the first step in regaining my will to live. Caleb reached out to run his hand up, along my spine where he massaged my shoulder and ran his fingers through my hair “Try and sleep” he instructed, aware of my sleeping patterns since he was the one who always took care of me, the only one I ever spoke to on board the ship. I glanced in his direction but refrained from moving, holding the sheets close to my chest and legs “I-.” what had I wanted to say? My thoughts went to my mother, to Bethany Sillvan who had lost a daughter years ago and most likely still grieved her death. My mind wondered to my father who had known of the affair my mother had with Darkheart for some time. I pondered over how he treated her, whether she was happy or not and the words came flowing from my lips before my mind could even process them “Want to visit my mother” Caleb’s body stilled, his hand pausing where it hand been gripping my shoulder and I turned my head, mismatched eyes staring down at him, expecting him to protest, to argue and say that it wasn’t wise but he surprised me by saying “We’ll be setting sail at daybreak” I believed that he could sense my hurting and thought that if he could give me everything I desired that some portion of that pain might begin to fade away which was why he hadn’t refused. I was grateful but sighed heavily when I nodded my head, raising my hand to bite down on the nail of my thumb. It was then that I raised the sheets and threw my leg over him to straddle his waist, leaning down to once again capture his lips with mine. Neptune’s memory still lingered and I was going to do everything in my power to rid myself of the images, the haunting reminders. I rocked my hips back and forth on top of him and he groaned against my lips, hand moving to tangle itself in my hair. The night stretched on, once led to twice, twice to third and eventually I managed to fall asleep, wrapped in his arms with my mind completely blank of anything accept for him, his scent, his voice, his taste. It had been days until I would meet with my mother in Port Knott and tell her that she deserved to be happy and if Darkheart was that happiness that she should go to him, flee the manor and the Port in search of the man whom she loved. Whether she did as I had suggested, I did not know but it provided me with a sense of closure when I had returned to the ship where Caleb would announce his retirement as Captain the following day. The crew stood gathered on the deck below while Caleb and I were stationed on the helm, looming over them. I sat in a chair with my back to the crewman, eyes locked on the horizon, on the place where Port Knott had disappeared to. I was kept in the dark as to what Caleb had wanted to tell them, not sure what could be worth calling a meeting of such scale for but he had said to bring my hat and he wore his. His hands tightened their hold on the railing beside my head when he glanced over the men and Rebecca who sat on one of the crates, her hands holding her bulging stomach “Over a decade ago, I declared meself yer Captain and since then this crew has prospered-.” the men began to cheer in agreement, throwing their fists up into the air, grabbing onto each other, pulling and tugging at the fabrics of their shirts to wrap their arms around the shoulders of others. I glanced up at Caleb, unsure of what he was getting at “Ye be the most terrible, frightening, filthy, drunken bunch of pirates to have ever sailed the seven seas!” the men burst out laughing at their Captain’s mention of the word ‘filthy’ and ‘drunken’ because it was true. Their bellowing rumbles echoed out over the water but died down when Caleb raised his hand, motioning for them to listen “And it has been an honour, serving as ye Captain-.” there was silence, complete and utter silence that crawled over the crew, not even a single joke was told or a man was playfully shoved. Why had he used the words ‘has been’ and not is? My eyes grew slightly wider as I gazed up at him while he reached for the hat that sat perched atop his head, removing it “But it be time for me to give up this old hat and name a new Captain to guide ye across these open waters” Rebecca rose to her feet, wanting to protest. Nolan appeared shocked and Ben had uncertainty in his eyes, not sure whether his next Captain would be as gracious as Caleb had been. I sat with my eyes wide in shock and a need to protest rose in the back of my throat but it wouldn’t come out. The way Caleb glanced down at the hat was like a young boy about to give up his favourite toy car so why? Why would he do such a thing? “I chose one Benjamin Read to lead ye, men” Ben stood frozen, his entire body riddled with shock and his muscles unable to loosen themselves enough for him to head in the direction of the helm. Ben who was once a slave, purchased by Caleb now became a Captain. He became Captain Benjamin Read of the Sunken Soul, leader of the Black Pirate’s. That day Ben had claimed his hat and chose a first mate using mine but it hadn’t been until much later that I understood why Caleb would ever relinquish his title as Captain. He had done it for me, having thought that a life on board the ship wasn’t a place where children were to be raised. They needed wide open grass fields to run and play in, needed a home with a piano where I could teach them to play, they needed friends and a proper education. All of those things played into the reason why Caleb had given up his life as a pirate along with my mental health. He wanted me to be some place far away where my mind could think clearly and I could get lost in the world around me, in honest work and preparing a proper dinner for him to eat once he would get home after a long, tiring day. Foods that were composed of chicken, fish, beef and lamb, foods that had eggs and all types of fruits of vegetables in them, cooked with flavour. He wanted a life where he could sit on a front porch and look out onto the ocean with a drink in hand, just listening to the crashing waves or the rustle of tree leaves and it would be a lie to say that I didn’t want it too. Rebecca and Nolan had spoken to us, had told us of their plan to venture to France and that was where Caleb requested Ben sail us to. There in Vannes would be where it all began, where this tale of agony, love and recovery would lead us onward to an unpredictable future, the future that fate held in store, the future that we could not control.  

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