Unveiled Hearts

This is life… Puno ng tawanan ang paligid ng living room dahil sa buhay na buhay na tawa at kulitan ng magkakapatid. Kung may isang bagay man akong alam na common sa kanila, iyon ay walang ni isa ang gustong magpatalo. Pareho silang tatlo na competitive kahit na sa isang simpleng Jenga game lang. “It’s your turn, Lois!” Pancho, the second brother, urged me to take my turn. Pareho kaming apat na nakasalampak sa sahig habang nakaharap sa center table kung nasaan nakapatong ang Jenga Tower na unti-unti nang nasisira pero nakatayo pa rin. Pancho and Vince were sitting side by side on the left corner while Alas was comfortably sitting at the center. I was sitting on his right corner and my senses were very attentive to the small distance between us. Tahimik lamang siya pero nakikitawa at nakikipagkulitan din sa mga kapatid niya. He even joined in annoying me. Months ago, he was very distant and snob. But now, he totally changed. He knew how to finally smile and relax. Napakagat ako sa aking ibabang labi habang nag-iisip ng tamang strategy para makakuha ng isang Jenga na hindi nasisira ang tower. Nang makakita ng tamang galaw, tinukod ko ang aking kaliwang kamay sa marmol na sahig at unti-unting kinuha ang isang piraso ng Jenga gamit ang aking kanang kamay. I held my breath as I slowly pulled the wooden thing out. The boys were also giving their full attention at my hand except for Alas! I gasped as heat crept to my skin as he touched my hand resting on the floor. Nanlaki ang mga matang napatingin ako sa kanya at binigyan niya lamang ako ng nakalolokong ngiti bago ko binalik ang atensyon sa unti-utning nagigibang Jenga Tower. Everything happened in slow motion. Pancho and Vince anticipated for my success yet they both yelled, feeling a great joy because I lose the game. My heart beat doubled its pace because of the effect of Alas’ touch on my skin and because I lose the game! “Teka! Ang daya!” I exclaimed then I looked at Alas accusingly but he only gave me one innocent look. Then, he raised his brow at me, challenging me in silence. Alam niyang hindi ko kayang sabihin sa harap ng dalawang kapatid niya ang kanyang ginawa dahil magiging tampulan ako ng tukso. Dapat sanay na ako sa tuwing tinutukso kaming dalawa ni Alas sa isa’t isa, eh. It was his whole family’s favorite past time! At sa tuwing tinutukso kami sa isa’t-isa palagi akong namumula pero siya kalma lang at minsan sinasakyan pa ang mga biro ng pamilya niya na para bang wala lang sa kanya ang bawat panunukso nila. Samantalang ako, halos sasabog na ang puso ko! “Sino ang madaya? It’s as clear as crystal na talo ka na!” Vince said, laughing at me while collecting the scattered pieces of wood. “Agreed!” Pancho shrugged his shoulders and grinned at me too. I rolled my eyes at them and accepted my defeat. “Fine! Whatever!” Humalukipkip ako at hinintay ang consequence na paparating. Bakit ba kasi ako sumali sa larong ito? Tsk! Tinapunan ko ng nakamamatay na tingin si Alas na tahimik pa rin at hinihintay na matapos ni Vince ang paggawa ng tower. Bigla kong inabot sa ilalim ng mesa ang binti niya at binigyan iyon ng pinong kurot. Alas grimaced and gasped respectively. “Aw!” wala sa sariling sigaw niya at biglang inangat ang kanyang binti dahilan para masira ang ginagawang tower ni Vince. An involuntary laugh escaped my lips but I immediately stopped myself when Pancho looked at me with doubt visible in his face. Vince scowled at his brothers and cursed while trying to build the Jenga again. “Pancho, help me here!” Binalingan ni Vince si Pancho kaya napatingin ito sa kanya. Alas took that opportunity to get my attention. Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mga mata at pilit na inaabot ang aking kamay sa gilid ko pero pilit din akong lumalayo sa kanya. Akala niya mapapalagpas ko ang ginawa niyang pandadaya! “Stop it, you two! We can see you from here!” saway ni Pancho na ikinatigil namin ni Alas.  Damn! These brothers were very attentive and intelligent for their own sake! “God! You’re giving me the creeps. Stop it, guys!” segunda naman ni Vince na parang diring-diri sa nasaksihan. Tsk! Alas only laughed at them and shook his head in pure amusement. He crossed his arms over his chest and c****d his head on the side as he focused his attention on me. I immediately felt myself getting swallowed by awkwardness as his lingering sight sting every pore of my being. I stole a glance at him but his deep-set coffee brown eyes held mine a prisoner. Those eyes were once full of secrets and guarded fear. Now it held nothing but pure comfort and bliss. I would like to think that I was part of the transformation but I didn’t want to assume things. But I had to admit, something deeper grew between us. We were not just civil to each other anymore. He somehow grew… closer and a little special to each other. We’re just not that vocal to our feelings. I was even afraid to admit to myself that I was already feeling something deeper for him. “So, what’s the consequence for this lovely lady?” “Lovely, huh.” “Stop it!” saway ko kay Pancho at Vince at pinanlakihan sila ng mga mata. They really loved annoying me! Buti na lang at wala ngayon si Tita Alice at Tito Jad, ang kanilang mga magulang, dahil pag nagkataon, ako na naman ang tampulan ng tukso sa mga oras na ito. “Can we do away with the consequence thing? Masyadong pambata!” I said, trying to stop one shameful incident to befall me. Ayoko nang mapahiya sa harap ni Alas! Damn! Bakit ba kasi nagma-matter na sa akin kung mapahiya ako o hindi ngayon? “Just answer one question, Lois. Give us an honest answer.” Pinanliitan ako ng mga mata ni Vince. He has those eyes that vanished when he laughed or grinned. Among the three, he was the playful brother too. Nabaling din sa kanya ang atensyon ng dalawa niyang kapatid. So, they were in favor of Vince’s question. Naghihintay sila ng susunod na sasabihin ni Vince. Nagkibit-balikat lang ako at tumango. “I can do it!” matapang na sambit ko at hinitay ang tanong mula kay Vince. He grinned and stole a glance at Alas before giving back his full attention to me. He successfully placed the last piece of wood on the tower. “Do you have feeli—” “Good evening, Boys!” Natigil sa pagsasalita si Vince dahil sa malakas na boses na iyon. Four heads snapped to the entrance door. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mapagtanto ang kararating lang. Alas immediately stood up and went to greet their grandmother. The most respected elder of the family Montoya. Pancho and Vince followed their oldest brother while I slowly stood up and faced them. Donya Emilia Montoya stood regal and firm. Even at an old age she still held power and command wherever she went. She was also very prim and dignified. Sa TV ko lang siya dati nakikita at humahanga talaga ako sa paraan ng pagdala niya sa kanyang sarili. Kung nakatatakot na siya noong hindi ko pa siya nami-meet, mas nakatatakot siya sa personal pero mabait naman ang ginang at approachable. “Lola, it’s already late! What are you doing here?” May halong gulat ang boses ni Alas habang tinatanong si Donya Emilia. Inalalayan din ni Pancho at Vince papunta sa living room ang kanilang lola at maingat na pinaupo sa sofa. “Good evening po,” magalang na bati ko nang balingan ako ng matanda. I bit the inside of my cheek as I nervously face the respected elder. She was silently looking down at me from head to toe and back. Good thing, I was wearing a sleeved long dress. “I really don’t like it for a woman who lets their hair down,” komento nito sa akin at magsasalita pa sana ulit pero agad akong sinalo ni Vince at Pancho. Hindi naman namin napaghandaan ang biglaan niyang pagpunta. Kung alam ko lang edi sana hindi ko nilugay ang aking buhok. It was actually a rule for women in this house to always tie our hair. Kahit lahat ng mga katulong palaging nakapusod ang buhok. Lumapit si Alas sa akin at agad akong nakahinga nang maluwag nang maramdaman ang comforting presence niya. Bigla kong naramdaman ang paghagod niya sa akin likod kaya wala sa sariling lumipad ang tingin ko sa kanya. He looked down at me before giving his full attention to his grandmother. “Relax. She doesn’t bite.” Patuloy pa rin ang paghaplos niya sa akin likod hanggang sa natigil iyon nang biglang napatingin sa aming dalawa si Donya Emillia. She didn’t mind how closed Alas and I to each other or she chose not to comment on it. I had no idea! “Lois, can you get me a glass of water, please,” utos ng ginang at binalingan si Alas na nasa tabi ko. “You, young man. Call your parents. We have something very important to talk about.” “They’re both in Manila, Lola. They can’t come home tonight,” sagot ni Alas at lumapit sa kinaroroonan ng lola at mga kapatid niya. Agad akong tumalikod at tinahak ang daan papuntang kitchen. “Well, they have to be here. We’re going to plan your wedding engagement as soon as possible.” My feet came to a halt when I heard what Donya Emilia said. Napakurap-kurap ako habang inaanalisa ang mga salitang narinig. Bigla ring natahimik ang paligid. Walang sumunod na nagsalita, para bang pinapakiramdaman din nila ang isa’t isa. I had my back to them so I could not see their reactions. But one thing was for sure, I heard a small c***k coming from the inside of my chest then, it slowly pumped out pain. I could almost find it hard to breathe. I could feel three pairs of eyes digging holes at my back. Wedding engagement? Alas was getting married? With who? He never mentioned it to me before! Not even Vince and Pancho! “What are you talking about, Lola?” Pancho broke the deafening silence, a hint of disbelief was visible in his voice. When I regained my composure, I started to walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Masyado naman yata akong nagpahalatang affected! Nang makarating sa kitchen, agad akong dumiretso sa refrigerator. Napakunot-noo pa ako dahil napansin ko ang panginginig ng aking kamay habang binubuksan ang ref. Why was I even trembling? Napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga nang sa pagbukas ko ay dumapo sa aking balat ang ginaw. The coldness enveloped me into a mockery. Bakit parang gusto kong maiyak? Bakit parang binabalot yata ang puso ko ng hindi mapaliwanag na sakit? I closed my eyes to calm myself but an image of Alas clothed in a wedding suit as he waited in the altar played in my head. Marahas kong minulat ang aking mga mata at pilit na winawaksi ang imaheng iyon. Eh, ano naman kung magpapakasal siya? What was it for me? As if I cared! ‘Really? You don’t care? Even if you’re not going to be his bride?’ No! I should never get affected by those words! Wala namang may namamagitan sa aming dalawa ni Alas kaya bakit ako nagpapa-apekto? Hindi dapat! Nang makasalin ako ng tubig sa baso, dali-dali akong bumalik sa living room para ibigay kay Donya Emilia. “Thank you, Lois. Can you prepare a meal for dinner, please? We have visitors coming.” Tumango lamang ako at bahagyang sinulyapan si Alas. He was sitting in the sofa facing his lola. He shot an emotionless glance at me before giving back his attention to his family. “I better help para mas madali ang trabaho.” Presenta ni Vince at agad na tumayo pero pinigilan siya ng ginang. “Oh, leave it to your chef! She knows her job well!” Napakagat ako sa aking bibig habang tahimik na tumango at muling tumalikod at tinahak ang kusina. Mabigat ang bawat hakbang na pinapakawalan ko. Realizations hit me. No matter how closed I became with this family, I would still remain an employee. A resident chef. No matter how closed my social status and family background to them, I would still remain an outsider and they were still the highest stars in the galaxy. ‘Alas! Ang hirap-hirap mo namang abutin! Maybe, I should stop reaching for you. I guess, our journey ends here.’ I realized, not all people who came into my life are destined to stay. Some came just to say goodbye at the end, just like my parents… as well as Alas. A single tear escaped my eyes as I finally realized that I loved him but I was too late. A small gasp escaped my lips as I realized that his marriage slowly morphed me back to the woman I once was, alone and abandoned.