Where The River Flows Red

Jars of Clay- Waiting for the World to Fall     It all ended with a dream. Rather, it all seems like a dream. A nightmare really. One where the only thing that makes sense is red. Thick, sticky, red. It coats the walls, the people are drenched in it. It clings like something that can never let go. The smell of it is imprinted in my nose never to be forgotten. Yet, it is only the dreamlike state I remember.      "Tobi, where are you?" I looked towards the door to see the boy who says he's my new brother open the mahogany door that's bigger than life itself.      "Silas," I greet him politely. He smiles at me and then at the book I'm holding in my hands.      "Mom says dinner is ready. Wash up. Want some help?"  I nodded jumping off the chair and going over to him.      "Your mom makes dinner?" I asked.      "Our mom," he corrected. "And god, no. Mom can't cook to save her life. We have a personal chef and Matilda does the serving. She's our nanny,"      "Nanny? Like our babysitter?"      "Kind of, only she never goes home. Matilda is from Siberia. She has a family there. She works for our family so she can send money to hers," he explains. I nodded letting him roll my sleeves up before he folded his own. "Did you ever have a nanny before?"      "I don't think so," I shook my head while watching him wash my hands.      "Were you at the convent since you were a baby?"     "No, I was three when I was taken there,"      "Who took you?"      "I'm not sure who he was. He said his name was Fernidad. He said that my parents were in a car accident. I think he was a doctor. He had a coat like a doctor," I shrugged. He nodded.      "Well, now we're your family. I'm your brother. I've always wanted a little sister,"      I smiled feeling those words in my chest. A warmth that never goes away when I'm in his presence. A warmth that makes me feel like I am important, like I have a home, like I am loved. My first dinner in this giant house I learned to call my own is one I will never forget. I was welcomed into their family. I have a mother. I have a father. Most important of all, I have a brother.      "I wasn't sure what you liked to eat, Lady Tobania. So, I made a few things for you. My name is Matilda. You may call upon me as you please,"      The woman is tall. Taller than average. I didn't miss the accent either. Its thickness had me process every word before I answered to make sure I wouldn't answer her wrong. Her blonde hair was pinned back in a high bun. Her blue eyes are filled with warmth. The uniform she wears is easy on the eyes. Nothing tempting just plain.      Matilda set several plates in front of me. Chicken strips, fries, soups, vegetable sticks. I looked over at her and she looked down at me. I looked around the table to see everyone expecting me to choose something. I reached for the chicken first before taking a little off all the plates which settled everyone.      "How do you like your room, Tobania?" the woman I learned to call mother asked.      "It's really pretty and big. Like a princess' room," I answered politely. She smiled brightly, pleased with my answer.     The man I came to call father smiled at her, taking her hand in his tightly. Their eyes filling with joy. It seemed so important to them that I'd be as pleased and I was.      "I'm glad you like it, Sweetie. We can give you a tour of the house after dinner,"      "This is a house? I thought it was a castle," they all let out soft chuckles almost like they were trying not to startle me. That's important, well, it was then.     "It can be if you want it to, but yes. It is just a really big house," Silas offered me a small bowl of ketchup. I took it and put it down next to the plate I had put food on. I don't like ketchup because it's red. We finished eating in silence.     "This is the welcoming hall. Any guests are brought here and prepared for their stay no matter how long or short their visit is," dad said as we walked out of the dining room. "Through those double doors is the kitchen. Matilda and Ivanka are usually in there by morning. This is the living room,"      "Come on," Silas took my hand. I looked over at him. He pulled me away from them and when he thought it was safe we rushed off.      "Where are we going?" I laughed. He looked back at me and smiled almost as if the idea of my laughter pleased him.      "I know you wouldn't like the full tour narrated by dad. I think you'd like much more literate and exciting narrations," he pushed open two massive doors to reveal the one place I'd easily be found in. The one place I am lost too. The library.      "This is your library?" I asked walking in.      "It's ours now. Well, yours since I really don't like to read,"      I smiled at him and I couldn't help it. My arms came up and I wrapped myself around him. It startled him for an instant but then the best thing he could have done happened. His arms came around me and for the first time for as long as I can remember I was home. It filled a tiny bit of a deep longing inside of me. Something I was deprived of a very long time. Something I miss but have no memory of.     "Reading is the way into a better world," I smiled at him. He pulled back and smiled.      "Why would you want to leave this one? We have everything we will ever want,"      "Does this world have magic? Can we talk to animals or travel through time?"      "You can do that with a book?" he asked placing his hand over a leather-bound hardcover. He lifted the cover and fanned the pages a bit. "Can you read out loud for me? I can listen. You can pick whatever book you want. I'll just listen,"      I scanned the titles and picked one. I pulled it off the shelf and picked a spot we could sit together. He sat next to me. This had been my favorite book. I don't know how I know it but I remember the title and the story inside. I know I hadn't read it myself, someone read it to me. I began to read.      "What an exciting old mansion," Susan exclaimed.