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I Am Not Uptight!

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friends to lovers
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After Breaking Up With Ex Writing Contest

After getting cheated on and broken up with by his long-time boyfriend of 6 years for being "too plain, boring and uptight," Josh decides to prove to himself that he can be spontaneous and carefree (despite actually not being so). He begins to try things he has never done before, starting with answering an ad looking for a housemate that is "fun." He blindly moves in, only to find himself living in a chaotic house with five other housemates that would truly test his patience.

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Josh part 1
Joshua Dean was your average guy. He lived a simple and quiet life with his boyfriend of 6 years in a nice one-bedroom apartment, he had a typical 9-to-5 office job, and he was healthy as a horse. There wasn't much he could complain about—he didn’t have any drama in his life and he had a routine that worked: He would wake up at 6 AM on the dot every day, brush his teeth, go for a run, take a bath, cook and eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch at exactly 12 NN, clock out at 5 PM, pick up some pastries for his boyfriend, cook and eat dinner, read a book, watch the evening news, then be in bed by 10 PM. Every day from Monday to Friday, he had the same routine, and he loved it. He thrived in living an uneventful, normal life, and he considered himself lucky. He was twenty six years old with a proper job and a long-term partner—of course, he was contented. The only things that would put him off in his generally “okay" life were the nuances in his schedule—like that one Monday afternoon when they were made to go home early from work because of a faulty fire alarm. While his workmates reveled on the fact that they got to go home early, Josh's mood turned sour because he wasn’t able to finish his work at the office for that day. His routine was ruined, and to add insult to injury, he received a call from his mother the moment he stepped out of the bus just to give him a lecture as soon as he picked up. “What do you mean you’re not going to the reunion? It’s been 3 years since you last saw your cousins and aunts and uncles!” his mother continued to yap into his ear. ‘And they can last three more years without seeing me, mom.” Josh sighed as he slowly walked the path from the bus stop to his apartment. “I already told dad this, but I’ll be busy with work that week, so I really can’t go.” “Busy with work,” his mother scoffed. Josh rolled his eyes at his mother's snarky remark. “And I’m not really in the mood to socialize with prying relatives who are either passive-aggressively homophobic or trying to pressure me into getting married.” “They’re family, Josh.” “Doesn’t excuse their rudeness, mom,” Josh replied as he adjusted his grip on the small box of mini cinnamon rolls that he bought near his workplace. For the past two years, ever since the bakery opened next to their building and he brought home a promotional donut that they were giving away that his boyfriend, Perry, really liked, he began to buy random food from the bakery to take home—even though Josh himself was never really one for baked goods. “You’re too uptight like your father,” his mother sighed. Uptight. The word made Josh's eyebrow twitch and his grip on the box tighten. He hated the word—it was always used against him whenever he was being forced to do something he didn’t want. He wasn’t uptight. He just knew what he liked and didn’t. “I’m not uptight. I just don’t want to go to an event that I know I won’t enjoy,” Josh said, trying to keep his voice even. “Tell me the truth,” his mother said, disregarding his previous remark. “Is it because your boyfriend doesn’t want to go because he was humiliated during the last family reunion?” “It doesn’t have anything to do with Perry, mom.” “Are you sure? Because he had to leave in an ambulance during the last one and it caused quite a stir.” That was true, and Perry did, in fact, clearly express his intention not to attend this year's family reunion because of what happened the last time. “That’s because Aunt Millie fed him peanuts and he’s badly allergic!” Josh hissed into his phone as his apartment came into view. “Oh, come on,” his mother groaned. “Perry is old enough not to believe everything he hears. Even if Millie wrongly said the ingredients, what did he expect from a pad thai? To have no nuts?” “Look, it’s not about Perry,” Josh whispered as he approached the gate and opened it. He knew Perry would be home since he was currently in between jobs at the moment, and the last thing Josh wanted was for him to overhear that he was talking about him to his mother. Six years and his boyfriend and mother never really got along—they were tolerating of each other at best. “I just don’t want to go and waste my time,” Josh said, taking out his keys as he approached the door. “Too uptight, I tell you,” his mother disapprovingly muttered under her breath, but Josh caught every word. “I am not uptight!” he defensively replied, but his mother already hung up. Josh closed his eyes in exasperation and took a deep breath. Once he finally felt calm enough, he fixed his glasses then unlocked the door. He wasn’t going to let his mother's attempt to rile him up get to him—he was not going to attend the reunion and that was final. He pushed the door open quietly and removed his shoes carefully as he went in, knowing that Perry would be napping at that hour. As expected, all the lights in the living room and kitchen were turned off. Josh walked to the bedroom with the box of rolls in his hand. He was removing his tie when he noticed a piece of cloth on the floor right in front of the bedroom door. When he picked it up, he realized that it was Perry's favorite shirt. He probably dropped it when he was going to do the laundry, Josh thought as he hung it on his forearm and smiled. Even though he was initially put off with the early dismissal from work, he chose to think that it was an opportunity for them to spend an afternoon together after a long while. He was going to get his suit off and surprise Perry by joining him in bed—after all, the man had always been saying how he wanted more spontaneity in their relationship. Josh bet he wasn’t expecting him to be home early from work on a Monday. True enough, Josh learned that Perry was, in fact, not expecting him to be home early from work that day when he opened the bedroom door. Strewn all over the floor were pieces of clothing that didn’t belong to Josh—there was a sock on the bedside table, a shirt by the foot of the bed, pants hanging on the lamp. The bedroom was a mess, but that shouldn’t be his main concern at that moment, for in their bed was his boyfriend of six years—his college sweetheart, the supposed love of his life—sleeping next to a hunk of a man that was naked and snoring. Josh had planned to do the surprising, but things turned around pretty quickly. Still clutching the box of cinnamon rolls in his hand, his tie in the other, and Perry's shirt on his forearm, Josh stared at the blatant betrayal in front of him then, like any decent person would do when they walk into a room with people, he knocked loudly on the door beside him. Perry sat up, immediately wide awake at the sound. As soon as his eyes fell upon Josh standing next to the door, he pulled the covers up to his naked chest and began furiously shaking his lover awake. “Josh! f**k! What are you doing home so early?” Perry had the audacity to ask, keeping his blue eyes on Josh while he almost kicked the huge guy beside him because he wouldn’t wake up. “Yeah, I guess that’s the first question that should be asked here,” Josh scoffed as he watched the other guy slowly awaken. Still slightly confused, the man—with his gorgeous black hair, green eyes, and amazing biceps—scratched at his head until he finally understood what was going on. “Oh, s**t!” he exclaimed as soon as he saw Josh, then so began the dance of hurriedly collecting and putting on his clothes. “I-I can explain,” Perry desperately said as he put on his pants; but all Josh could see at that moment was the hickey on his neck that Josh certainly didn’t put there, and the opened condom wrapper on the bed. “I bet you can,” Josh muttered, while the other guy finally finished dressing up. “I’ll call you,” the man whispered to Perry as he picked up his bag. “Are you f*****g serious right now, man?” Josh asked with a bitter chuckle. “Are you actually serious?” “Sorry,” the man sheepishly muttered as he squeezed past Josh and ran out of the bedroom. Josh turned to watch him almost go into the bathroom while looking for his way out before realizing where the front door was and finally getting out of the apartment. The moment the door closed behind him, Josh turned back to his boyfriend with raised eyebrows and deadpan eyes. “Babe, please,” Perry cooed as he stood in front of him and lightly touched his arm. “What the hell, Perry?” Josh asked rather calmly. He was amazed at how he was able to still keep his cool despite the situation. “And don’t even tell me it’s not what it looks like because I’m not stupid.” “I know, I know, Josh. I’m sorry. I’ve been meaning to tell you this,” Perry sadly looked down in shame and guilt, “to talk to you for a while now.” Josh knew that look. He had seen it in movies, he had seen it on Perry's face when they were still friends and he witnessed him break up with his old boyfriend for him. Josh knew what was coming next, he just couldn’t believe it. “Oh, no, no, no,” he muttered with a shake of his head. “I think you have to sit down for this,” Perry said as he softly touched Josh's cheek with pity. “I’ll go make some tea.” “No, just—just say it.” Josh swallowed and stood up straight. “Just say it now.” “I want to break up.” And there it was. Josh could feel his stomach turn when he heard those words. Deep down, he was expecting them, but they still managed to catch him off-guard. He let out a small chuckle then fixed his glasses. He didn’t know what face he wore in that second, but he was almost sure it didn’t seem as calm and collected as he hoped it was. “You want to break up with me? After cheating on me? You've got—ha! You're joking, right?” Josh asked, his grip on the box of cinnamon rolls tightening even more. “I'm sorry, Josh,” was all Perry could say—and he looked like he meant it, too, which only made Josh want to howl with laughter even more. “Is it because you love that guy? That-that Michelin man? You want to start a relationship with him? Is that it?” Perry's face distorted in disgust. “No! God, no. He’s got nothing to do with this.” “Th-then, did my mom call you about the reunion?” Josh asked—his confusion through the roof. “That’s—” Perry sighed and ran a hand through his already messed up hair, “it’s not about anyone else. It’s about you and me, babe. It’s just… it just isn’t working out.” It just isn’t working out? Josh couldn’t believe his ears that he couldn’t help but raise his voice a little. “Six years, Perry! You’re throwing away six years of our lives!” “I did love you, you know, and I really thought I wanted this,” Perry said, grabbing the sides of Josh's arms, “that I wanted you, but you're just…” his eyebrows went up and met in the middle in his reluctance to continue. “What?” Josh asked with a flat expression. “You’re just,” Perry lightly squeezed his arms in a way to comfort him, “too uptight.” Josh blinked slowly at him, feeling his hands go cold. “Come again?” “I'm sorry, Josh, but it’s true,” Perry lamented as he took his shirt from Josh's forearm and put it on. “You don’t want to go off your schedule—one minute late or a sudden change of plans and you make it seem like your life is ruined. I mean, we’re young! We’re supposed to be in love and spontaneous and travelling around! But you can’t have your routine ruined and you don't want to use the off-days you’ve accumulated.” “We went on a trip to Paris like you wanted!” Josh contested. He was sure that his ears were starting to redden now in anger. “And every second was counted! We haven’t even gotten up the Eiffel tower and we had to leave because the line ate up the time and we had to be on schedule.” “So we could see all the landmarks in three days!” “We were on vacation, Josh! We were there to take it easy and be happy in the City of Love, but all you cared about was your stupid schedule!” Perry argued. He looked at Josh and sighed then sat at the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees. “You’re just… you’re too plain and boring and uptight. I don’t see a future for us anymore—at least, not one where I’ll be happy.” Plain. Boring. Uptight. If anyone were to pinpoint the moment in Josh's life that acted as a catalyst for change, this was it. Josh's ears burned as those three words kept floating in the air. He didn’t finish his work that day because they were dismissed early, his mother gave him an earful about the reunion, then he came home to find his boyfriend in bed with another guy, and yet he was the one who ended up being broken up with and called plain, boring, and uptight. At that very moment, Joshua Dean—an average guy with a typical office job who lived a simple and quiet life—vowed to change and prove everyone wrong. He was not plain nor boring, and he definitely was not uptight.

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