A Different Kind of Love

'Dear diary, I'm so scared! Tomorrow is the first day of school, not just any school but an all girl school! My parents thought they were punishing me by sending me to an all girl school; I was always getting in trouble hanging out with boys that's why. I was always doing crazy stuff girls 'shouldn't do'. My parents thought I had a crush on them, but they were just my friends. So now I'm going to an all girl school for Junior year. I'm probably going to have a heart attack, not because I won't have guy friends but because I'm a lesbian and there is going to be hundreds of pretty girls! My parents don't and can't know that I'm a lesbian though, they are such homophobes or they just really hate the l***q+ community in general. My sister came out to them as asexual and they literally made my sister hurt so much by saying so much hateful words. She had to say that is was just a joke, so that our parents would just forget about it. Afterwards she came to my room crying because it wasn't a joke, that she's actually asexual. That's when I came out to her, we just hugged for hours after our conversation. Oh my sister's name is Crystal, I have a brother too his name is Victor. I think he's straight and I somehow manage to have a crush on his girlfriends. Which I don't ever say anything because that would make things awkward and my parents would make me hurt with their awful words. Anyway, the reason I'm scared is because I literally fall in love with almost any girl I see! I really want a girlfriend but if I were to ever get one I would have to keep her a secret and I don't want to do that. I want to show her off, kiss her in public, hold her hand wherever we would go, and so much more! Just thinking about girls makes my heart flutter along with the butterflies in my stomach. Please let school be nice to me. Sincerely Leigh'     I'm able to write my diary entry, but not long after I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. "Oh no!" If it's my parents they'll want to read my diary! I run to my closet and lift up my loose floor board. Putting my diary carefully but quickly into my Pride stuff that I got from my sister on my birthdays. Just as I put the floor board back down my bedroom door opens and I hear my mother say. "What are you doing Leigh?" "Just getting an outfit for school." I say which is partly true because I do need to find an outfit that's presentable. "Okay sweetheart." Is all she says before walking out and closing the door behind her.     I take a step back to look at my clothes. Well at least I'm lucky enough that my parents allowed me to have both masculine and feminine clothes! I decide on a white t-shirt with ripped black jeans and a plaid flannel to tie around my waist, I'll find a pair of shoes in morning. If my outfit doesn't for tomorrow doesn't tell my parents I'm gay, I don't know what any of my other outfits will. Even if I'm not going to go out right and tell them I'm gay, doesn't mean I'm going to stop dressing how I like which turns out to be one of the ways my parents think lesbians dress.     While putting my clothes on my coffee table that is next to my bed, Crystal and Victor walk into my room. "What are you guys up too?" I ask, what! I'm suspicious, they never come into my room at the same time and Victor rarely comes into my room. "We were just coming to see if you wanted to go to a party with us." Victor says with a look challenging me not to say no, probably because whenever they ask I almost always say no. "Oh please come with us!" Crystal says with puppy dog eyes. "Fine, I'll meet you guys downstairs." I say going to my closet to find something to wear.     "Can I help you pick out an outfit?" I hear Crystal say from behind me. "Sure, just nothing too girly okay." "Thank you Leigh!" She gives me a hug then goes to look through my clothes. My sister is definitely the nicest person ever, nobody deserves her. Sometimes I feel that she shouldn't be in this family, she's so nice and caring, thoughtful, selfless, and kind. She's and angel on Earth that got stuck with parents who won't accept her sexuality, she didn't deserve parents like this. As I stood there looking at the door frame thinking, Crystal already had three outfits made. "Leigh, come choose one!" She says excitedly. As I look at the outfits on the bed, my stomach jumps and that's when I realize I'm nervous. There's going to be so many pretty girls there! One outfit is a plaid button up shirt with blue jeans, the second outfit is a tie dyed tank-top with jean shorts, and the last one is a white crop-top with black leggings.      Victor walks into my room scaring Crystal and I as he says. "We have to be there in 10 minutes, so hurry up!" "Omg!" Crystal says while taking a deep breath to calm herself. "I think I'm going to wear..." Is all I can say before Victor interrupts me by saying. "Leigh I think you should wear the outfit with the leggings. Who knows maybe you can finally get a boyfriend." I fall quiet, Victor doesn't know I'm gay. The reason being I don't know if he's like our parents. "Okay Victor! Grab some shoes for Crystal and I, we'll meet you down there." I say putting on a fake smile. Crystal leaves the room so I can change.