The sad story of the babysitter

Lily's POV: Hi, I am Lily Jenkins, an 18 years old girl. I had a sister named Lizzy. She died two years ago and left me with my parents. Since then my life became like hell. Everything was upside down. No matter what was I doing it always was wrong for my parents. Except if it's not something that they have wanted. I am a good student, but I don't have friends. People don't want to talk with me. Let me tell you how everything started. Lizzy and I were very close. If I have to be honest, she was my best friend. She was very independent, that is what mom and dad didn't like. Lizzy liked to do things in her way, but my parents wanted them in their way. For this, they argued the most. I always was on Lizzy's side. Mom and dad were not right. There is no need the things to be done the way they want. The most important thing is they to be done, right? Things were going worse. My parents and Lizzy were arguing almost every day.  ~ FLASHBACK ~ I was in my room when I heard my parents yelling. Lizzy just came from a party. She likes going to parties and having fun with friends, but she never gets drunk. Lizzy is a good girl. Just she has her own world in which she is living.  - WILL YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND THAT YOU CAN'T GO OUTSIDE WHEN YOU WANT? YOU NEED TO STUDY SO YOU CAN GRADUATE. WHY CAN'T YOU BE A NORMAL GIRL WHO FOLLOWS MY STEPS? - BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU. I HAVE MY OWN STYLE AND WAY OF LIVING. WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? - IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, YOU HAVE TO DO IT MY WAY.  - BUT I WON'T. I DON'T CARE WILL YOU ACCEPT IT OR NOT.  With that, my sister went into her room and slammed the door. I sit on my bed and felt tears in my eyes. I hate when Lizzy and my parents are arguing. There is nothing wrong to be different from the others. I hate to sit and do nothing. However, if I defend her my parents will turn against me too. Maybe one day things will get better. ~ END OF FLASHBACK ~ Lizzy was a great person, but my parents couldn't see it. She has done so much for me. Lizzy was always defending me and when I had a problem, she was the only person with who I could share it. I still remember one time when I had a bad day in school. I told her what happened and she listened to the whole story. Then she gave me advice and tried to cheer me up. That's why I love her. Lizzy was always by my side. ~ FLASHBACK ~ I just walked home after my horrible day. One boy said mean things to me and ruined my day. I saw Lizzy in the living room watching a movie. When I walked to her, she looked at me.  - Lily, what happened? Why do you look so sad? - One boy was mean to me. He said horrible things.  - And what did he say? Can you tell me? - He said that I am stupid and that I dress like Cinderella before the fairy gives her the dress. - And did you believe him?  I didn't say anything and just nodded my head. Lizzy grabbed my hands and pulled me for a hug. - The next time when he says something to you tell him that his jokes are old like him and that he needs to grow up.  - But what if he says something after that? - Then you'll reply. Lily doesn't leave one boy to ruin your day, ok? Just ignore him.  - Ok, I'll try to do it. Thank you, Lizzy. - I said and hugged her again ~ END OF FLASHBACK ~ Lizzy was my hero. She was saving me every time. My sister was the only person who was always with me. I didn't have many friends or to say that I didn't have at all. She was more sociable than me. Maybe that's why she didn't follow the rules that mom and dad made for her. They were thinking that she has too much freedom. All she was doing is to go to school and have fun with her friends.  Well, that wasn't forever. Later Lizzy started to stay more at home, to be distracted. I have caught her a couple of times trying to hurt herself with every sharp object which she could find in her room. Luckily, there wasn't a knife. Lizzy changed a lot. Now she was smiling less and most of the time she was sad. And guess what. Mom and dad didn't do absolutely anything about it. They were arguing with her more and more. She was getting worse. Once I caught her in the bathroom in her room taking some pills. At least I could stop her on time. Otherwise, she was going to kill herself. I have to admit that it wasn't the only time when she has tried it.  ~ FLASHBACK ~ I was in my room watching a movie. When it ended, I decided to go and see how Lizzy is. She wasn't feeling very good lately. I don't know was she depressed, but she definitely wasn't ok. I knocked on her door, but no one answered. I walked into the empty room. I heard some noises from the bathroom and went there. I found Lizzy crying on the floor with a small bottle of pills. I have no idea what they are, but I'm sure that they aren't for something good. I took the bottle and read that with the pills you can kill yourself. I looked at Lizzy who was still crying.  - Lizzy, did you take any of these pills? She didn't answer me. I hope that she didn't.  - Lizzy, answer me. Did you take any of the pills? - Not yet. Give me them.  - What? I am not letting you kill yourself.  - I need them. Lily, you don't understand. I have nothing to live for. No one loves me. People always criticize me.  - But what about me? Will you really leave me alone with mom and dad? At least for once, think about me.  - I'm sorry Lily, but I can't continue like that anymore. Give me the pills.  - No, I won't give you anything. - I said and threw them all in the toilet - Why did you do that? - Because I love you. Lizzy, I need you more than everything. Please don't leave me.  She didn't say anything. I got closer and hugged her. Lizzy was my support. She was helping me every time when I had a problem. And now I have to do that. I have to help her. Otherwise, I don't want to imagine what she is capable to do to herself.  ~ END OF FLASHBACK ~ Every time when I think about her, tears come to my eyes. However, I am trying not to cry in front of people. Especially my parents. They still think that she wasn't ok. The worst thing they did was that they never supported her and were thinking about themselves. When Lizzy died, all they were thinking was what people will say about them. Slowly I am starting to understand why she did it. No matter that, this wasn't the right decision.  I wish that I could save her. However, when I tried it was already too late. I guess that was her plan. If I was with her, I was never letting her do what she did. Lizzy was way too young to die. I miss her so much, but I can't do anything to bring her back. I have to accept that she is gone. But somehow I can't.  ~ FLASHBACK ~ I went home from school. The day was good. Nobody has talked with me and, believe it or not, like that is better. When I walked in I called Lizzy, but no one answered. I went to her room, but she wasn't there as well. Probably she went out. I left my things on the bed and sit on my desk. Then I saw an envelope. I never get ones so I was interested to see what's inside. I opened it and saw a letter.  "Dear Lily,  Probably when you will read this, I'll be gone. I wrote you this because I can't tell you all the things that I have to. I want you to know that I love you so much. You are the best sister that I could ever ask for. I want you to stay strong and never give up. I believe that one day you will grow up as a strong and independent woman. Maybe you are wondering where I am. I decide to go somewhere, where I'll be and feel better. I know that you'll never forgive me for that and I am really sorry. Mom and dad were the ends of me. I can't live with them anymore. I hope that you'll understand. Lily, you are the most important person in my life and I'll never forgive myself for all the pain that I am giving you, but I can't continue living like that. I am sure that you will hate me for that and I can't blame you, but please try to understand me. I know that you love me so much and it's breaking my heart that I have to leave you with parents like them, but I have to think about myself too. The only thing for which I'll please you is to promise me that you will never let mom and dad take control of you. Don't let them do the same things which they did with me. They broke me, Lily. That's why I did it. I'm really sorry. If you need me, you can always come to a wooden bridge in the forest, which is by the river. I will always love you.  With love, your sister Lizzy.  P.S. Never do the things the way mom and dad say. Do them the way you want." When I read that tears came to my eyes. I immediately run out and went to the bridge. On the shore of the river, I saw a body. I walked closer and saw that this was Lizzy. She was all wet. I tried to wake her up, but she didn't move.  - Lizzy, please, don't leave me. Wake up. I need you.  Then I checked her pulse and found out that it was gone. Lizzy was dead. She has drowned herself. I started crying. I called mom and dad. After half an hour, they come and we went to the hospital. The doctor said that she is dead for like two hours. I was crying my eyes out and my parents didn't drop a single tear. They were disappointed in her. No one of them wanted even to say goodbye. I refused to go home with them, but they made me.  At her funeral were only us. My parents didn't invite anyone else. They didn't want people to know what has happened. Their opinion was the most important. More than their daughters.  ~ END OF FLASHBACK ~ That was the day when I lost my sister. Even after her death, the blame was walking after her. Some people said that she wasn't ok and maybe she should've been in a mental hospital. But again, no one blamed my parents for that. They were so innocent in people's eyes. I will never forgive them for what they did to my sister. They are the reason why she drown herself because they broke her. Lizzy was fine before they started criticizing her for everything and telling her how she is supposed to live her life. And the worst thing is that now they are trying to do the same with me. Maybe I should've gone with Lizzy. There no one will tell us what to do. And we can finally be happy because after her death my happiness ended. I have nothing else to live for. Lizzy was the only person for who I was alive. Now I don't see a point of living.