Hello, Goodbye

It is TUESDAY. I'm packing for my move to New York. I lean over to pick up my high school yearbook. I run my fingers along with the barely touched pages. All my memories don't mean s**t anymore. I flip to the back of the book. I had not asked for a single signature. I throw the yearbook in the trash. I stumble over the half-dozen moving boxes to my iPod. I had been packing for days. I change the song and play with my hair in the mirror. I have bleach blond hair and big blue eyes. My face is round, small, and puffy. My freckles run across my nose and onto my cheeks. There is a knock at the door. I run over my attire, sweatpants, and an overly sized Pink Floyd shirt. "Can I come in?" It's my mother. "I just want to have a little chit chat." It was never just a little chit chat. I sigh, "Sure." My mother struts into the room wearing her pink high heels with skin-tight denim shorts. Looking 45 but feeling 20. I cringe at the thought then continue to box up my collection of Mary Shelley books. She looks from box to box until I can see her eyes widen as she looks at the trash can, "You threw out the yearbook?" she asks, stunned. I shrug and continue packing. She leaps over a box extending her arm into the trash can. She swipes the dust off the book and places it in a random box. "I don't think you should be traveling so far away from me," she pouts. "New York is so far away." "I'm not a baby anymore," my voice cool, my expression completely annoyed. "I am doing this for myself. I'll be getting experience." I tape up the box agitated that the tape won't stick and she won't leave. "But next thing you know you'll be coming home in the middle of the night with a bouncing baby boy!" she giggles with awe as if she wants me to be like her, a college drop-out. My mother had it set in her mind I would go to college and not university so I could stay close to her. I was all she had left beside her occasional boyfriends that seemed never to last long. "Mom I'm not going to be like you," I murmur. "Yes well, I hope you learn from my mistakes. I honestly don't see why you can't go to a local college around here! There are some very nice courses." "No thank you -" I grab my phone to check the time."Besides, I saw the list of five courses they supply at the local college. Plus, I'm not even going to college, I'm going to university." "I don't see the difference," she murmurs, her eyes watering. "There is a big difference mom." The phone rings from the kitchen and like that she is gone. It was probably Chuck. Chuck the truck driver as I would call him. He seems to be a real keeper. I continue to pack as the day passes by. IT IS THREE IN THE MORNING as Becky and I begin to board the plane. My mother looks horrified. Becky's parents look relieved that she is leaving and starting a new life. Becky smiles at me. I smile back analyzing how beautiful she is. Her body is perfectly shaped in all the right places with just the right amount of fake tan on. She has bright green eyes, brown hair with highlighted ends, and is wearing her pink sunflower dress. She was someone who rarely looked anything less than gorgeous. I might have resented that if she wasn't my best friend since the second grade. "Let's get the f**k out of here!" Becky jumps into her seat and fastens the belt across her waist. I sit next to her giving one last glance out the plane window giving my farewell to what was my home for 18 years. "Oh don't be second-guessing this!" Becky cries. "I'm not. It's just I'll probably never be coming back," I say with a tinge of guilt. "Me either." WE ENTER THE HOTEL and it is beautiful. It was the cheapest yet most elegant hotel in the outskirts of Manhattan. It was right across from the airport. Becky jumps onto the bed and screams with joy. "Let's go to a bar and celebrate!" she sways her arms with excitement. I wasn't surprised by this. Becky always wanted to celebrate no matter what it was about. "I'm a bit sleepy," I yawn. "And I'm sure drinking the night before we move into campus is a bad idea." I also had not been drunk before. I spent my entire high school years hiding from parties and the odd social events hosted by my mom, who was still serving the kids that would come with their parents. "Come on, Jenna." Becky sits on her twin-sized bed amid the piles of clothes she had created around herself. We'd only been here for two hours. "I'm not dressed to go out." I gesture to my yoga pants and ripped t-shirt. "And it was a long flight." "Well let me fix you up and make you look f*****g hot!" Becky takes my hand pulling me into the bathroom. She begins plucking my eyebrows and curling my hair. I glance up into the mirror. Holy s**t! I look like a totally different person. She sees my expression of horror. "It's okay! You look beautiful." "I look like my mom!" We step outside and at that moment the smells and sounds of Manhattan embrace me inviting me into the night. I was not just a block away from my home in California, but worlds away. The doorman tips his hat to us. WE TRAVEL DEEP INTO THE CITY and find ourselves in a downtown crowded bar. The smoke burns deeply into my lungs as I pass through the mass crowds. Becky is already surrounded by a group of men. I on the other hand walk aimlessly to a table at the farthest corner of the room. I start to envy all the people socializing. No matter where I go I'm still the outcast. Becky waves me over to her new group of friends, I politely ignore instead turning my attention to the bar. I wonder what it would be like to get drunk. Without second-guessing myself again I began towards the crowding group waving for a drink. I jump onto the barstool and wave the bartender down. "What would you like?" The bartender smiles. "A beer and oh maybe a couple of shots," I wanted to try this out. Go big or go home as Becky would always put it. The bartender raises his eyebrows, "Is this for a group or?" "No, just me." The bartender puts two shots of straight vodka down with a tall glass of beer. The bartender gives me a worried glance as he services his next customer. I begin to take the first shot. It burns my throat, I almost vomit as I slam the shot glass on the table. I do not understand how people enjoy this. "You shouldn't really drink like that," says an unfamiliar voice behind me. I turn around finding myself looking at a young man. His face was perfectly structured. His jawline visible, his lips small but lined to suit his face. His brown hair short and gelled just right. I give a half-smile turning my attention back to my next shot. I don't tend to get well with the opposite s*x. I usually find myself making a massive fool out of myself. "And what might your name be?" he asks curiously. I take my next shot. This one is a little more difficult to keep down. This vodka might be giving me some slight courage to respond. "Well," he pauses and tilts his head. I'm still hesitant to respond and I can see him turning away.. I turned around quickly with the shot glass still in my hand, "I'm Jenna." He turns his head towards me and a chuckle resonates from his chest, and he pauses with a smile. "I'll take it you've never been here before. I'm sure I would have recognized you," His navy blue eyes analyzed me as he moved back closer to where I sat. "Nope, I just moved here." Crap. Why was I telling a complete stranger this? "W-what is your name?" "It's Sebastian. Sebastian Lloyd," He smiles. "Like Pink Floyd but Sebastian Lloyd!" I tilt my head back in pure laughter. The shots were kicking in faster than I had wanted. I stumble past him knowing I just embarrassed myself beyond recovery. I find my spot in the corner of the bar. I sit down red in the face with flashbacks of what just took place. Stupid me. "You forgot this." I look up and there is Sebastian standing there with my beer. I had just noticed he was wearing a black dress suit. He looked ever so elegant. He stood out from the rest of the crowd. He made the rest of the men at the bar look overly underdressed. "Are you alone?" he asks with what looked like slight concern on his face. "No my friend is somewhere," I glance around not being able to pick her out from the crowd. I knew this was going to happen tonight, "I think I may have lost her. This is my first time at a bar." I sigh, taking a rather large gulp of beer. Becky may have been my best friend since the second grade but she had always been the popular one her whole life. I was surprised she was my friend. She did have a tendency to leave me for what seemed like a better time. I notice Sebastian's eyes widen with concern. "Would you like some help finding her?" What a generous stranger but I was still very wary of him. I had never talked to any guy this long let alone be left drunk at a bar. I felt ready to vomit. I took one last look at Sebastian feeling the vodka shots coming up my throat. I kneel down vomiting on his shoes. I don't even want to look up at his face.  "No need to be embarrassed Jenna," his voice sounded soothing. "Why don't we get you a cab? Where do you live?" I still hadn't lifted my eyes from his shoes. "Oh my god!" That voice sounded familiar. Becky is rushing over quickly and I can see she takes an instant interest in Sebastian. I wasn't the only one mesmerized by his good looks and outfit. Sebastian turns his head to her, "You must be the missing friend." Becky blushes at this comment. "I'm the one. Jenna let's go!" I know she can see the vomit on his shoes and if that weren't a sign to leave I would truly think she was dumb. I had obviously just ruined his shoes which looked expensive. I stand only to almost fall back down until I feel Sebastian place his hands on my shoulders to hold me up. "I hope to see you again Jenna," He smiles. His eyes were a topaz color and I became lost in them. THE NEXT MORNING I awoke with the worst headache I have ever had. I massage the temple of my head before rolling over to check the time on my phone. It was already ten o'clock. The sun only increased my headache as I walked to the bathroom. Becky was still asleep. I wonder how she will feel this morning. I begin to brush my teeth when the question dawns on me. How the hell did we get home? I try to remember what occurred as I washed my hair in the shower. Okay, there were the two shots and meeting some stranger and that's when it dawned on me. I puked on this stranger's shoes. I feel like I'm about to vomit again but this time out of embarrassment. Once I'm done in the shower I see Becky has ordered herself room service. Eggs and toast. I look at the plate and again the feeling of being sick comes back. Becky looks up from her plate and smirks. She does not seem to have a hangover. "Oh well hello there party animal!" she chuckles. I'm so confused. What the hell did I do? "Don't worry I gave that cutie your phone number," She winks. My eyes widen in confusion. Hoping she is not talking about the stranger I vaguely remember. "What happened?" "Well, you vomited on this random guy's shoes and then passed out on his shoulder so he carried you to the cab." Fuck. "So you gave him my number to pay for his shoes?" I was annoyed with not only myself but with Becky. She shovels down the last of her toast. "No, he said he wanted to see you again. Seemed like he had quite the hots for you," She gulps her orange juice only making my throat feel dry. I look angry, "Who in the hell was he? I don't remember anything" At this point, Becky knows I am mad at her. I'm never drinking again. I place my hands on my face to cover my shame. "Look," She half-heartedly smiles, "If he doesn't text you then it's like it never happened but Jenna we need to get ready to go move into our dorm today so I need to go have a shower. You should order some food before we go, you look ghostly." She leaves me standing red in the face closing the bathroom door behind me. I ran to my bed to check my phone and there were no new messages. I felt a bit of relief. The morning continues. Becky and I head down to the lobby with our luggage waiting for our Uber to pick us up. My hangover had passed after I had made my way to the waffle station in the hotel. Becky was surprised I had not ordered room service but unlike her, I didn't grow up from wealth and lived with a single mother who worked three jobs just to keep us afloat. It was around noon when we arrived at campus. There were people everywhere. Parents saying their farewells until thanksgiving, hugging their kid's goodbyes, and then there were the kids like us. Showing up alone with only our suitcases and books with us nervous as hell. I could even see the nervous expression on Becky's face. Not so tough now. I do wonder if she is worried if she will fit into university like she did in high school but that was only a quick thought as a young girl bumps into me knocking over my books. "I'm so sorry." She looked just as nervous as I did. Her hair was frizzy and her overly large glasses flew off in the process. She didn't turn back but continued on her way in a fast jog. I laugh and look at Becky. She looked overwhelmed. "Let's just find our dorm room and settle in." As we made our way through the hallways it clearly became a nuthouse with barely any room to move. 213 was our room number. We open the door and quickly slam it shut sounding out the yelling and screaming of eager students wanting to either start a class or begin the partying. "Holy s**t!" Becky flops on her bed. We both were already exhausted and still had to unpack. "I was not prepared for this Jenna. Not at all. I don't know if I will make it honestly and it's only move-in day." Oh, I totally understood her feelings. I began putting my books away and started setting up my desk placing my Macbook down when my phone began to vibrate. It was an unknown caller ID. Becky jumps up off the bed. "Is it him?" she asks repeatedly only making my heart race more. "Answer it!" Hesitant I tap ignore. "All for I know it could be a telemarketer and I hate getting those calls." It was a lame excuse. Becky's look of excitement dwindles, "Pussy." That's right I was being a p***y because I did not remember him from last night. I'm so glad Becky can't read my thoughts. I began unpacking my clothes which wasn't much. I wasn't very fashionable. I could live the rest of my life in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt but my mother had spent some of her last paycheques and bought me a few fairly nice dresses and matching outfits from the second-hand store so in her words I didn't look like a slob. Becky begins to hang posters of half-naked men on her side of the wall with dangling lights while shoving her books under her bed. We were complete opposites. "I wonder if there will be any parties tonight." She arches an eyebrow at me before her smirk widens. "Not after last night and you leaving me alone with a complete stranger," I say with my face set in a scowl. I continue to organize my wardrobe when I begin to hear my phone vibrate again. Fear seizes my heart, I know I have to answer it this time. Becky lifts her hands up encouraging me to do so. Yet again it is a private caller. I answer the phone hesitantly waiting for someone to say something on the other line but there is nothing but complete silence. "Hello?" I question the silence. "Well hello there Jenna. You can be quite hard to get a hold of. Did you know that?" The voice on the other line is deep and husky. I did not recognize it at all. "I assume you are the stranger from the other night?" "You don't remember my name?" He sounds disappointed which almost makes me feel guilty. Almost. I can see Becky wide-eyed and intrigued, probably because she couldn't hear what was being said on the other line. "I was really drunk and honestly don't remember much." "Well first off you hurled all over my shoes and well you passed out on my shoulder. We were on a first-name basis so I'm a little hurt you don't remember me." I can just feel his playful smirk over the phone. This annoys me more than anything and I want to hang-up on him. "I'm really sorry about that." "You are? How about you make it up to me?" "How much did the shoes cost? I will try to cover it." I knew that wasn't where he was going with this conversation. "How about a date? Tomorrow night, you and I will go for dinner." It almost didn't feel like a question. I sigh, "Okay where will this dinner take place?" "It will be a surprise. I'll pick you up around 8 o'clock." And he hung up. I'm obviously not going to do a good job with this date tomorrow. I had never been on one before. IT IS 6'OCLOCK IN THE EVENING when Becky and I head down to the lobby to meet with other sophomores. It was a scheduled event that was created to build friendships. The lobby was decorated with white flowers at each table with lights hanging from the ceiling giving it a starry illusion. There was a buffet table full of goodies. Damn. They sure went full out. Becky instantly heads to the punch bowl hoping it is spiked. I start to analyze the room of students. They all looked very preppy and I felt so out of place. Becky comes running back with not two but three cups of punch. I reach out to grab one with a thank you on its way but she takes a step back, "No way honey! There is vodka in this." I'm not the slightest surprised by this. As Becky slams one of the cups back the same girl who had knocked my books over approaches. The nerve she had to come to say hi after not helping me was astonishing. "I would really like to say sorry for not helping pick up your books but I was in such a rush to get settled and start studying," she explains with an apologetic look on her face. I stand stiff and show no emotion of forgiveness until Becky speaks, "It's all good. We were all in a bit of a rush this morning." she smiles. "It happens to the best of us." I tilt my head towards Becky giving her a glare which in response she ignores. "My name is Becky and this is Jenna," She points to me but the girl hadn't stopped staring at me since she came to us. She wanted my forgiveness.  I sigh, "It's okay. I understand today has been a little hectic for everyone." "You have no idea! If I don't get a head start this semester my dad will kill me. Literally. I'm Sarah," she shakes our hands. "Have you guys met anyone yet?" Her eyes sway back and forth between Becky and me. "I'm anti-social," I smile. "Oh, I saw some cute guys on the way over." She points to a group of athletic-looking junkies standing in a group. "so I'll be meeting someone after I finish these drinks," Becky takes a gulp out of the second cup. She was drinking fast. Too fast. I look at my phone to distance myself from the two and we have only been here for 20 minutes. That was 20 minutes too long for me. I give one last smile to Becky and Sarah before I tell them I'm heading to bed. I just wanted to be alone. Maybe read one of my favorite Jane Austen novels on my k****e. Truly though I couldn't stop thinking about my date tomorrow night. I make it back to the dorm closing the door and sprawling across my bed in exhaustion. I am not excited about tomorrow's classes and to add to that I had a date with a complete stranger. Maybe I should make up an excuse and not go on the date. I'll say I'm sick or still coming off my hangover. He wouldn't believe that. It is not long before my thoughts disappear and I'm asleep.