Murtad

The story is about a devout Muslim who turned Athiest. So let's get started: Zakir was born in a devout Muslim family, as a result of the childhood he had, it turned him to be too religious, also most of his cousins were hafiz-ul-Quran, his family did not have TV, he never listened to music as his family even considered Music as Haram, one more fact was that his family had close ties with the royal family, and the country he lived in was governed strictly by sharia law. From childhood itself, Zakir loved to pray 5 times a day, he used to read Quran in his free time, he loved Allah more than himself. Time passed he soon turned to an adult. In a certain holy month of Ramadan, his best friend urged him to get a mobile and get an Internet connection, initially Zakir refused his friend because he feared that it would distract him from Allah, but his friend did not give up, he insisted Zakir buy one, he even introduced him to an Islamic forum on Quora, he explained Zakir clearly how the Islamic Scholars share their knowledge on Quora. Zakir was tempted after knowing that he could interact with various Islamic scholars from around the world, he did not hesitate and bought the mobile, of course, the first thing he did after having the mobile was to create a Quora account and he followed all famous scholars and joined various Islamic forums. Soon he got addicted to it, he started asking and answering questions, most of his questions and answers are related to Islam. Days after days passed, on a certain day after he distributed Zakat, he checked his mobile and he found an answer written by an ex-Muslim to an Islamic question. That answer looked too rude to him, that ex-Muslim guy who was born into a Muslim family now dares to call the prophet a con man, Zakir was enraged, immediately he got into a debate with this atheist to bring him back to the right path, but as debate continued, Zakir realized that he couldn't win as the opposite guy was debunking all his claims from the holy Quran by saying that it was a book written by a human, not some divine revelation. Zakir did not know how to continue with the argument, meanwhile, the opponent switched the topic to history, he talked about various things, Neanderthals, Dinosaurs...e.t.c Zakir realized that he lacked knowledge on these subjects, so he decided to learn about them to prove himself true and the other party wrong. Then Zakir began searching various things including big bang theory, Neanderthals, Human body composition...so on. At first, Zakir wanted to do it to prove the other wrong, but it soon became interesting to him, he studied all of these things, the more he studied, the more he doubted his religion. Zakir got afraid, he thought that he was being influenced by Satan to go on the wrong path. So he contacted some Islamic scholars on Quora, who were well versed in biology, history and Islam, he asked his questions and after getting the answers from them, he assured himself that these things can be explained using Quran even though some parts were lacking such as Neanderthals, his doubts began to clear up, he understood that he was on the right path. Then to convince himself much further, he browsed Youtube and watched Zakir Naik's videos, but as he watched more of his videos, more doubts began to pop up in his mind, on a certain video where Zakir Naik debates with an atheist, he browsed through the comment section and found an argument which was much more interesting than the video itself. But soon after going through an argument, his mind was cleared, his perspective of seeing things changed, he understood how close-minded he was. It was hard for him to accept that he was living in a lie, but somehow he accepted it. Now he felt dejected for a moment, then he went ahead and joined the atheist related spaces and groups in Quora and another platform. The more he browsed through their answers and opinions, the more he understood how rational and logical they were. Days passed, On the social platform he was an atheist who argued with theists, while in real life he was pretending to be Muslim. As a former Muslim, he knew that what happens to those who declare themselves as atheists in his country. Back then, he was also one of them who supported the death sentence of such a person, so he knew more than anyone else that he had to hide it else he would die. That was not the only reason, he also was afraid of being separated from his family by stating his atheism, By doing so not only he would break the bonds, but also hurt his family deeply. He decided not to take a risk and keep things to himself, but as time passed, things were not going in the way he assumed, he thought he could keep pretending and could be able to pray 5 times a day, but the prayers whom he used to love once now seems like a burden, the reciting of Quran which he liked once was not interesting anymore. He did not realize it, but an invisible tension was building inside him as days and days passed, soon another Ramazan arrived. His nightmare started by then, every day he was fighting to himself to keep the secret buried in his heart, but things became more and more difficult as he had to not only pray 5 times but also had to fast, had to attend Taraweeh. Soon he could no longer bear the tension, on a certain evening he revealed his secret to his closest cousin, his cousin did not get angry, however, he tried to convince Zakir to not get astray. Zakir knew this was going to happen, and also he did not want to argue with his cousin as he knew it would be useless, so most of the time he remained silent and just listened without giving any reply. The next day, nothing is changed in Zakir's life, he continued to pretend, during the iftar, his mother made a special dish called Shir-khurma made by using milk. He along with his family members were sat across the disaster-khan( a red thin carpet), he loved the dish Shir-khurma, so his first choice was his favourite dish, he lifted the bowl to gulp it down as a whole, at the moment, his cat brushed past his hand, and grabbed the bowl to the ground. The bowl broke as the Shir-khurma splashed on the ground and all over the cat's face, Zakir got angry and wanted to punish the cat. The cat ran away soon after the incident without giving him the choice, Zakir wanted to go after it, but his family insisted to stay and finish the fruits first. His mother handed him another bowl of Shir-khurma, Zakir drank it and ate the fruits. Time passed, after two hours Zakir found it odd that his cat is not returned, so he went to search for it. After walking for a while, Zakir found his cat laying on the side of the road near to drainage, flies were surrounding it, it was laid there lifeless. Seeing the scene, Zakir felt the sudden throb of pain in the heart, then his thoughts began to waver randomly and wildly. For further reading visit the following link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1086359