Eternal Silence - Sigils

I had boxes stacked in front of me and I had boxes stacked behind me. As I looked side to side, there were more boxes and only the teeniest tiniest space to move between them. I sighed as I let my head fall thinking of all the work I had ahead of me, even though I knew I would have all this unpacking to do, but I never imagined this. Also, there was the case of my being accident-prone that bothered me a bit because if I fell into these walls of cardboard everything would get mixed up and my evening would consist of sorting through piles of merchandise, their sizes and styles. Putting my hands on my hips, I mustered up the courage to tackle this, since I am a firm believer in saving time and energy, I decided to take each box to the department it is supposed to be in and then unpack them there. I do believe that will make my life easier and also spare me some running up and down the stairs. I did not feel keen on exercise tonight. I took the first box and tried to carry this huge three-dimensional square out safely without disrupting the order of my neatly placed clutter. Once I reached the end of the tunnel I was pretty proud of myself as I breathed with relief. I took a step forward and turned my head to the front of the store as the store door opened. A lout yell startled me making me fall backwards. “I am here!” My best friend yelled into the store as I fell and she paused when she saw my butt firmly planted on the floor. She looked at me with huge eyes before starting to laugh. “Dude, that was so not cool!” I complained while my hands were burning from the fall. “I was so proud too, making it all the way through the cardboard obstacle course.” I tried pointing to the boxes behind me as she came to help me up by removing the box and looked to where I was pointing. “Why didn’t you just start by taking the boxes from the front?” she pointed out as I got on my feet and dusted off my pants. “I mean, that way you’d avoid accidents and you’d be clearing the front first, which means no squeezing through and no accidents.” I scowled at her even though I knew she was right. I just really didn’t think about doing it in the most logical way and I wasn’t about to admit it. “I was standing all the way over there, okay. Overwhelmed. Besides, I was proud and that’s all that counts,” I claimed and grabbed my box again marching right off to put it in the right department. Echo and I have been friends since pre-school. She was the only one who would eat my mud-pies with me, and friends who eat dirt together, stay together. We grew up pretty simple, typical teenagers, typical families and average grades, the only thing I would say that stood out from all else were us and our friendship. We’ve made it through high school and we’re still standing strong. We are so cool. To jump back to the present, right now Echo and I are working for a store called Music&Merch. We’ve been a part of the M&M family for about two years now and we’ve worked our way to store managers quite recently. We are so proud of ourselves - such productive young-adults we’ve become. Guess you’ve been wondering about all the boxes? Well, it is rather simple — new stock. Echo and I ordered a bunch of new band merchandise and albums to add to the store’s already awesome collections. I think that is why we wanted to be managers more than anything, to be able to have a say of who and what gets to be a part of the collections. It is a lot of responsibility and more hours, but we do love our job. “Arlia!” I heard Echo’s voice calling from downstairs. “Look!” I frowned for a second before I went over to the railing, looking down to where she was standing. I began laughing when I saw she stood in front of the mirror and was dressed in a whole new outfit. I shook my head at her as I should’ve guessed she’d do something like this. “What are you wearing now?” I asked her as she looked to me and smiled innocently. “Everything!” She claimed excitedly. “We ordered the coolest stuff and I don’t think my employee discount will help me much.” “Not when you are wearing the entire store, no,” I said before grabbing the empty box behind me and walking back down to her. I threw the box to the empty pile that we had going on in the corner and felt quite pleased that it took us three hours to get through most of the stock. It was already dark outside and when I looked at the clock, it showed me it was almost 21:00.  “You better take those off and put them back to where they belong,” I told her looking at both our reflections in the mirror. “But I look so cute,” She pouted while examining herself. “I am not arguing with you but I am hungry.” My stomach made a loud rumble and at the same time I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen, and I made an uncomfortable face. “Don’t worry tummy, we’ll get some food into you soon,” I said rubbing my stomach. “My love for food outweighs my love for clothes,” Echo stated and began taking off the articles of clothing she was wearing. She threw me with a shirt as it landed on my face. “Be a darling and help me before my manager catches me.” I removed it from my face and scowled at her before grabbing the hanger that was on the floor. I neatly placed it back in its designated place. I was happy with the store and the way we had arranged everything. It looked more cosy and orderly and finding things was a breeze. To me, it felt like a new beginning in the same old place. A better one, almost like I was on my way to something bigger and I liked it. I felt content. Echo gave me the thumbs-up sign telling me she was done, which was mostly her standing at the door looking out the glass eagerly and calling me over-and-over again while bouncing her knees. I went behind the counter as I got my bag and switched off all the lights making sure the shop was secure. I then continued to shove Echo out of the door, locking up Music&Merch for the night. While we were walking, I was focused on the paving and all its little cracks and imperfections. I am not too sure why it captured my attention and why it kept me so intrigued, but my eyes didn’t miss one c***k. It was a silent walk, I think. If Echo was talking to me, I was oblivious to it and I would be sorry, but luckily, she is filled with many random thoughts. She usually talks-and-talks like an ADHD kid. I am sure she didn’t notice. “Arlia,” I heard and felt a small slap on my shoulder as I looked up and to her. “I need you to tell me - Chinese or pizza?” “Um…” I had to think a bit as my taste buds bounced between the two choices of food. “Before we reach the street, please. They are literally on opposite sides of one another as one is all the way over there and the other all the way over there….” She began explaining with arm gestures and putting emphasis on her words. She kept rambling and didn’t stop forcing me to make a quick decision. “Chinese!” I blurted out interrupting her rambling as we reached the crossing. I began chuckling as she stared at me blankly while pushing the button for us to cross the road. “Thank you,” she answered politely and the little green man showed up telling us it was time to cross. I was about halfway across the zebra-stripes painted on the road when I had a pair of sneakers blocking my way. Attached to those sneakers was a guy, and he seemed to have the same thought as me — to get out of the way. We both went left and then swayed right, but we just kept bumping one another and I had to stop and laugh because I am sure we looked ridiculous. Echo caught my eye as she waved her arms telling me to move it along and I mouthed for her to chill. At that moment, the guy turned his head to look at her and she seized all gestures and waved at him. Echo then continued to wiggle her eyebrows at me and grin as I chose to ignore her completely. “I’ll tell you what,” the guy said as he took me by my shoulders and spun me around to where he was standing. “There we go.” “Thanks,” I smiled shyly before turning around walking to Echo and he also began walking again in the opposite direction. “Awkward…” Echo sang as I felt really dumb. “The cute stranger is still looking though.” I turned my head to see if she was right and to my dismay, I fell for it. “f**k!” I hissed as she laughed at me. “Got you!” She mocked and I was really bummed out by the fact that he didn’t look back at me. Such an evil trick. We came up with that trick long ago in school to find out if the other is interested in someone. Sounds childish but we do often lie to our friends about who we find attractive, even when we have no reason to. A habit I guess, so we don’t feel rejected. It forces us to stay honest even about stupid things. There were many people out in the night time air as you could smell the food while passing all of the restaurants, cafes and food trucks. You’d also overhear conversations from people you’d pass and most times catch the wrong end of the conversation. There were times, like tonight, I enjoyed walking. “Why do you think I like observing?” I asked Echo as she put her hand on the door to enter the restaurant. “I would say because you are an overthinker,” she replied as we were greeted by the waiters and found seats at a booth. She was right, I did like overthinking. It might be because I like to see people’s reactions and learn from their mistakes since I haven’t really made any wrong choices of my own yet. I will overthink why they did what they did and why they made the decisions they have. People are so complex and there are so many things that influence us that I become intrigued by what makes us tick in all the ways we do.  I might be writing my own rule book of what to do and what not to do. I have no clue what to do with the information I receive, maybe I use it as a guideline? There have been so many things I don’t understand lately as we are constantly changing. As soon as we have a grip on whom we are and how we function, our mind and bodies change again, rather funny. Reasons as to why that is I still haven’t found, and I might never be able to wrap my head around all the change constantly happening all around us. The secret may be to become as compatible as possible with life. Most of us are stuck in comfort zones and being compatible isn’t easy as we hate letting go. I do believe our emotions keep us from being compatible. Loss. Fear. Doubt. Depression. Guilt. Such powerful impacts on such a fragile human design. Think about it, if we were happy, fearless and hopeful, life wouldn’t feel like such a burden at times. The need to succeed won’t be so paralyzing as we would be accepting of who we are and stop comparing ourselves to everyone getting to places faster than us. It is so overwhelming. Later that night after dinner Echo and I had retired to bed. We were stuffed from eating way too much again and we really shouldn’t have taken the challenge on the all-you-can-eat. We aren’t tough enough for that, even though we thought we could do it — epic fail. So, with two aching bellies we each went to our rooms and sulked in peace. I was lying on my side as the moon’s silver glow entered my window. I stared at the rays that lit up my room as I sighed and moved onto my back. I gazed up at my ceiling noticing all the marks and imperfections, imagining what could have made all of them and how they got there. I just wanted to go and get something to clean my ceiling with, even though it was barely noticeable. I was just annoying myself. I turned my head to look at my clock on my bedside table, it read 00:57. I have been rolling around in my sheets for the past two hours. I hated nights such as these. I sat up in my bed as I rubbed my face feeling like I wanted to scream, I sighed instead thinking Echo would be pissed if she had to wake up with a fright. I felt I had a major headache coming on as I rubbed my temples for a short while. I hate headaches. Perhaps it was the food we ate, or maybe I just haven’t been drinking enough water. I don’t know. When my feet touched the ground I stood up and I felt all the blood rushing through me. I became lightheaded and grabbed my head while trying to balance and gather myself before heading out into the dark apartment. I stumbled into the kitchen and tried opening my eyes fully. I still felt pretty woozy, leaning against the doorway as I could feel my headache had reached its full potential. I walked over to the sink and saw that the wind was making the branches dance and the leaves twirl. Seemed stormy outside as I looked out the window, I actually got chills from watching the wind blow. I reached for a glass next to the sink as I opened the tap and poured some water for me; I leaned left to the small cupboard next to the sink and grabbed hold of the painkillers. I opened it up and while throwing some out in my hand I saw something move past the window, my eyes shot to the glass as I frowned. Staring hard I searched the outside but nothing seemed to be moving there. I brushed it off as paranoia and placed the bottle of painkillers on the counter. I grabbed my glass and turned around leaning against the countertop, swallowing the two bitter tablets making a nasty face, sticking out my tongue. Painkillers suck, but I know if I leave this headache it will become worse and I will wake up with my head next to me on my bed…that is a weird thought. I pressed the cold glass of water against my head, trying to cool down my busy brain. I rolled it over my forehead hoping it relieve the pounding inside my scalp. When I opened my eyes, trying to focus my blurry vision of shadows danced on the tiles. When my eyes finally adjusted, I thought I saw a figure amongst all the branches. Frowning I turned my head and focused more intently on it. When it began moving, I froze, too scared to move I continued looking at a silhouette of someone standing outside the window. There is no way branches can make such a realistic figure!  I was paralyzed, barely breathing and then ducked to the ground hiding behind the counter. I was hoping whatever was out there couldn’t see me, but I didn’t account for the full glass in my hand to spill all over my legs and the floor. “s**t!” I mumbled to myself looking down at the mess I made. Bright side, it was only water. The shadows on the ground showed me that there was nothing to fear, I moved so my eyes stuck out above the marble so I could see if anything was there. I looked around frantically while my heart rate was increased, yet I didn’t see anything. I stood up slowly looking out but still, nothing caught my eye. I breathed with relief wondering if I made it all up. Could I have? “Ouch…” I pouted as I could feel my headache again and rested my head in my hands. All this excitement of imaginary images was not helping, I was being silly. I am on the second floor anyway, why would something be at our kitchen window. How could something be there exactly? I shook my head at my silliness and lifted my face. I stared straight at the glass, frowning again seeing a very blurry part on the window. I moved closer inspecting it and my heart began racing once more. It looked like someone had breathed against it, it was steamed up. I laid my fingers on it to make sure it was from outside, and when I slid my fingers over it, a branch knocked the window making a loud thud as I yelled and retracted my arm knocking over the painkillers and my glass I had placed on the floor. I was officially freaked the hell out. Someone was outside our kitchen, breathing on the window. What kind of a weirdo breathes on a window? What kind of a weirdo looks into someone’s kitchen window? “Are you-” I heard as I yelled once more only to see Echo standing in the doorway with her sleepy face, “…okay?” She finished her sentence and looked around. I stood with my hand on my chest from the fright she gave me and just took breaths. I was very close to crying, you could tell by my eyes tearing up. Echo switched on the lights when I didn’t reply to her, she came over to me inspecting what had happened because I was standing in a combination of water, broken glass and scattered painkillers. I shut my eyes against the abrupt bright light flooding the room and I laid my hand on my forehead to nurse the splitting headache. “Dude, are you okay?” Echo asked me again and I just shook my head. “Let’s get you to bed. I can see you were in our personal pharmacy again.” She placed one hand on my lower back, leading me out of the kitchen and into the living area. “I am sorry for the mess.” I murmured feeling bad for not explaining myself and for waking her up. “Don’t even worry,” she replied when we reached my room. “You just get into bed and I will bring you something cold to cool you off.” She pulled back the sheets as I got underneath them and lay down on my back, placing my head on the pillow gently. I felt sick. I am not sure how long Echo was gone for as I was focused on other things, but she came back and placed a really cold washcloth on my forehead. “There. I am hoping this helps, my mom used to do it and I see you with an ice pack sometimes so, voila!” She said as I wanted to chuckle but couldn’t find the strength to, so instead, I lifted my arm and gave her a thumbs up. I took the cloth and threw it over my entire face, cooling off my body temperature. I heard someone whisper something and figured it was Echo saying goodnight, a second later my door shut softly while I lay in my bed, praying I could fall asleep and forget this night ever happened. I don’t want to be sick.