If Only

1- Memories I remember childhood memories. Rich, vulnerable memories that can easily be lost through time. But memories can be hidden in objects. Photographs keep those days alive and refresh the laughter in our minds. Songs bring back tastes of baking and smells of flowers. But nothing ever brings her alive. She is only a memory. A speck of dust in a population of six billion. Yet she is powerful enough to almost kill me. You want to hear my story? It starts in 1988 spring. The year I was born with my soon to be best friend Haze. I can't remember my first year in this world, but photographs tell me I had a perfect childhood. The typical first birthday with kids who I don't remember now. The football outfits, mommy's boy t-shirts and muddy trainers. I share most of my photos with Haze. And as the year passes suddenly, slipping past our awareness like a sly snake, another person joins the photos. A little chubby cheeked baby. And that's where my earliest memory comes from. "My sister came today, " said Haze. running up to me, his eyes full of excitement. "Where did she come from? " I asked him, surprised at this sudden thought of Haze having a sister. "Mommy's belly!" he replied. "Well, that's what daddy said." "Wow!" I exclaimed. "So her belly ain't big now? " "I think she pressed her belly button and it exploded, leaving my sister, " "How big is she?" "She's a baby, " "A baby? Is that where babies come from? You mommy's belly? " Then, I heard my mom call me through the back door of Rita's cafe. "Josh? Joshy! Haze?" her steady voice said. "The cookies are ready!" We glanced at each other, and ran hoping to be the first to pick out the largest and chocolatiest cookie. Haze was always stronger and faster than me, hence why he reached the cafe fast and grabbed the best looking cookie. I was stuck with the small, skinny one and a triumphant smile from him. Suddenly, a question popped into my mind. "Mom?" I turned to face my mother. "Is Haze's mom dead?" A horrified expression replaced her smile. "What? Of course not! Why would you say that?" she asked. "Because Haze told me she exploded, " Haze nodded along with me. "She didn't explode! She gave birthday to a baby!" "What does giving birth mean?" asked Haze. "It means - never mind. Do you guys want to come and see little Hannah in the hospital? " "Yes!" we both shouted. ♣️♣️♣️♣️