Lost Souls

ZOE   If someone ever told me that I've lived so many crazy lives before I would laugh in their face as if they were f*****g crazy. But now with all the s**t that's happening, I would believe them without a damn thought. You'd think that I'd be used to this by now but s**t is just getting started, and it's just the tip of the iceberg. If I told people the craziest s**t I've been through, throughout each and every life I lived they'd probably think I need to go to a mental hospital. And yeah I believe every time you die after time goes by it could even be seconds you have a new life you get to start over without remembering everything that has happened in your previous life. But even if you did it would only be bits and pieces that feel like a dream. That's what I thought I guess I was wrong about not remembering a damn thing or it feeling like a dream if you remembered even a little piece of information. But for me in my case I remember every single life I lived, I'm just not the only one. It's me and my husband Nathan. I feel like I'm cursed or something because things are just pretty f****d up in this world if you asked me. So here's how everything got to where it is now.    I'm Zoe Amila Evans I'm like 5'6 and I have beautiful light brown skin, I also have big brown eyes that glisten in the sun, at least that's what people tell. I live in Los Angeles, California  I just turned 18, I lived a pretty normal life up until a week before my birthday things just started changing very quickly, especially when I thought that s**t was going great I just graduated from high school. I got my dream car, I was going to travel for a whole year before I decided to go to the best art college there is in this state. But let me explain to you how s**t started going bat s**t crazy. I was out with some friends we decided to have some fun because I was going to go to England two days after my big day. I couldn't really hang out with my friends, because I always spend time with my family for my birthday. And England was just the first stop, anyways back to what I was saying. The first stop we made was the mall because we need to get outfits for Chance The Rapper concert. But I was hungry and I need to eat so I got In N Out burger on my way to the mall, after I picked up my friends.We we singing and laughing and talking while I was driving and dancing in the sits of my car and just having a good time celebrating me and life because everything was just amazing, and I guess with all the fun that we were having we got to the mall without realizing it. Have you ever just started driving and the vibes were good and you know what you doing but you don't remember if how you got there but you know you didn't run a red light but still felt like you did but you still trying to figure out how you got somewhere hrs later? Well yeah nit was pretty much like that. Now when I got to the mall I had an extremely weird feeling and I couldn't explain what it was. I liked it but at the same time I was very confused about why I felt that way.         I knew that I couldn't say anything to them they'd probably think that I'm f*****g crazy or on some weird s**t that they can think of at that point in time. Now before I get mad deep into this all before this day I was having weird dream like I for months but last week that's when they became more intense and I just felt like they weren't just dreams anymore, but this feeling it just felt comforting. But I just brushed it off because it could be nothing... but then again it felt like it was something, something that I couldn't ignore. After a while of walking around, we took a break and got some ice cream from my favorite ice cream shop. And when I walked out of the shop there was this guy, he looked like he was 6 ft and 4 inches tall. Deep blue eyes, brown hair his skin looked so tanned and his body looked like it was sculpted by the gods. I couldn't help it but I felt like I was being drawn to him. And we stop dead in front of each other starring into each other's eyes and that same feeling I got that I got when I walk in this mall it was coming from him. I couldn't speak I just felt something that I've never felt with anyone. I couldn't explain what the hell this feeling was, but I loved the feeling. And finally, he said something that snapped me out of the trance I was in. He said hey are you okay and if I needed anything? His voice was deep and it made me think of the dirtiest things I could do to him. And I replied with no I'm fine, and he said good... we both got really quiet for a second. And at the same time, we said Hey do I know you from somewhere. We both laughed.      And I said I think I would most definitely remember you. He said I don't think I would ever forget a smile or a laugh like that. And I let out yet another big smile. He laughed and said Hey I'm Nathan but you can call me Nate, and yours is? Oh, I giggled my name is Zoe but you can call me Zo. Then I looked at my phone realizing what time it was, I said lets exchange numbers because I have to hurry up and get going. And that's exactly what we did. After that day I started having these dreams of me and him that felt so real. That I couldn't explain to people even if I wanted to because I didn't understand them myself. But we started texting and hanging out more, and the more we did the more dreams I had that felt like reality. These things already happened before. And I didn't want to say anything to him, because I didn't want to scare him off or anything I was really starting to like him. And it's only been like 3 weeks since we've known each other and I'm starting to feel more and more for him.          I heard my phone ringing after getting out of the shower and it was Nate Facetiming me, so I answered. He says oou someone misses me that much to answer the phone as soon as they get out of the shower. I couldn't help but laugh and tell him to shut up playfully. He says get ready, I look at him all funny like out of curiosity. And ask him where are we going, he says we are going out on our first date. I freeze up and stayed paused to make him think I don't want to go out with him, and I couldn't contain my laugh in any longer I bust out one big ole laugh and said got ya. He gives me a frustrated look and replies with oh I thought you were being serious, please never do that again. I said I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. he says you're lucky I really like you and your adorable face... Be ready in an hour I'm picking you up at 6.     When I say that's the night I'll never forget I meant it. And you'll understand why in just a second. I'm in his car and we are laughing, talking and singing to the songs that are playing in the car. While he's driving he holds my hand, I smile I look up at him and say you really aren't going to tell me where you're taking me. He laughs damn you're very impatient. I look down and back up at him and say hey what can a girl do if she just really wants to know where you're taking me on our first date. And he suddenly stops, I didn't know why so I asked why aren't we moving. And says that's because we're, I'm so confused because I don't know why we're at his apartment. So we get out of the car and he takes me to the very top of the building. And when I say it's the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me. It makes me feel very special, so dinner and everything is already prepared and made and there's a movie playing while we eat. Everything was perfectly Imperfect just like us. After we finished our food and the movie we went into his apartment and I love his apartment it's huge and so modern and fancy. We sat on the couch and talked for what it seemed like minutes to actually be hours.       As soon as he put his left hand on my thigh and the right hand cupping my face I knew what was about to happen, And I let it happened because I wanted it to, he kisses me. And I felt like my body was a f*****g fire but in a good way. He asked me if I wanted to continue and I nodded my head saying yes. He started taking off my clothes as I did him, he made his kisses trail from my neck down the lower he got my knees became weaker more and more. And the more he did he was showing me that I was his now and forever. I was more than okay with that. When he stopped I was thinking WHAT? WHY? I didn't understand why he would stop until he said are you sure. I responded by pulling him close to me for a kiss, with each and every movement he made my body feel like it was melting. Each and every thrust was different, the deeper the thrust the harder he did it. It was like he was trying to tell me something and I got the message loud and clear. It wasn't like any normal f**k. We were making love and he made sure I knew that his house was pretty much like a love den and we f****d everywhere in his house. Especially the shower, who knew shower s*x could be this amazing I, sure enough, didn't.       After we were done I started to feel very light headed and I didn't know why until I started having these flashbacks of our lives before. Like the very first time, we met the very first time we made love the very first time we found out we were pregnant with our daughter Mahlani and our very first time we found out we had a son named Dereck but the crazy part is that we look the same way we do now and have the same names that we do now. I knew right then and there that I had to tell Nate no matter what. These dreams which are dreams they actually happened, I just can't keep it to myself anymore. So I called Nate and told him to come out when he was done in the bathroom. I knew this going to be something that could ruin everything but this felt way too real not to say something.       He came out of the bathroom, at the same time we both said that there's something that I need to tell you. He said you go first so I did I explained to him what happened the day we met and the feeling that I had and how I had the same feeling when we met and how I had the dreams that I know for sure now that they aren't dreams they actually happened. How I just saw our past together from the very beginning when we just met and how we had a daughter and a son I told him their names and how I had this weird feeling when I got to the mall and had the same feeling when I met him. And as I was saying all of this to him he didn't look shocked. And that's what creeped me out, And his response to everything I told him was that he believed me. That's what shocked me the most, then he started to explain why. Almost 2 weeks before I met you I started having these dreams and I didn't know why I was having them but I knew something was going on and I didn't know what it was. Until the day that we met, I had that same weird feeling when I got there, and when we ran into each other.     As he was talking I knew that I had to find out why this was happening to us. And why we were having these dreams that aren't really dreams at all, and how is this even possible as I was thinking about this getting ready say something to him. It's like he was in my head and said I know what you're thinking and I think we should figure out why this is happening to us and how this all started. Even though I wouldn't change it for anything in the world I would still like to know what caused this and we are going to have to figure out how we can get to our memories from the beginning of time and try to space and time out the events that cause this to happen every time we died. And I agreed with him and this what I really want to figure out so this can all make sense to me... to us.