Feral Luna

My name is Zabella Dunbrock. I'm the only living child to the Alpha and Luna of the Silver Crescent Pack, the largest in Eastern Canada. We were located in Northern Ontario, surrounded by gorgeous forests and lakes. I loved it here. My parents have a strange and rather unheard of arrangement. My mother was the only child of Alpha Nathaniel Star and my grandmother, Luna Amelia. She was strong even as a child and he had wanted her to take over as Alpha, which is pretty much unheard of. My father, was the second born son of Alpha Hazen Dunbrock in Scotland. He was never meant to rule his pack there, and met my mother while they both were on holiday in London. When my grandfather realized they were mates, he asked him to return to Silver Crescent and rule beside my mother so she could stay in power. It was all a huge deal from what I was told. My mother can be rather cruel and calculating, while my dad is more sympathetic and insanely easier to talk to. I'd rather chew broken glass then have a heart to heart with my mother. Every full moon a large celebration is held and several neighboring packs join in, it's a way for my mother to flex her authority, show off her wealth, and also play matchmaker, her favorite. It was welcome to everyone, but like all of the celebrations for the last four years, I'll be missing it. You see, I'm 28 and unmated. I'm the only unmated female over 20 years old in all of the Canadian packs, and when the sun goes down, my Wolf goes feral looking for her mate. I used to be a well respected member of the pack. I was the top warrior, and trained harder than anyone else. Even at 175 cm I could still best my brother, the future Alpha, and I could run longer than any of the patrol leads without getting winded. My Wolf was just as highly respected. She stood a massive 160 cm at her shoulder, velvety black fur, with white stripe markings down her nose and cheeks. She looked like she had war paint, and she was a formidable warrior. That all changed four years ago, when I accidentally killed my brother the first night my wolf went feral. It wasn't my first shift, hell, wasn't my thousandth shift. I'd been shifting since I was 15, it didn't even hurt anymore as the bones cracked into place smoothly, and Xander had always been there. He was two years older than me. He was strong, massively tall and three of me wide. He had a carefree spirit and only cared about the pack and what was fair. He would have been an amazing Alpha. It was a shifty rainy day in the middle of July, and we were training in the yard. Weird cloud bursts would let it rain for a few minutes and then closed back up and got sunny again. He and I sparred all the time, it was never anything I thought was weird or out of place. It was the night of the full moon, and we were just finishing up before we had to wash up for the celebration, but were having a lot of fun and got caught up past sunset. It had never been a problem before. He was telling me he and his mate were trying to have pups, and that mom was planning his Alpha ceremony for the next month, it was all so normal. I don't remember much, but we were laying on the ground on the deck of the pack house catching our breath and counting the stars as the sky darkened, laughing and joking, and suddenly my wolf screamed in my head and I blacked out. When I woke up from the black oblivion I was in silver chains held by six warriors, and my brother was gurgling through blood while my parents screamed at his side. "Promise...me!" He spurted. I had torn his throat out, and there was blood everywhere, including covering me. He begged them to spare my life with his dying breath and that's the only reason I wasn't executed. My mother never forgave me, but my father understood I never meant to hurt Xander. I adored my brother more than anyone else, but I took away the packs heir. So, a compromise was made. During the day, I was allowed to be like any other pack member, well sort of, but at night, I would go to my "home." It was a stone fortress of a cottage with bars two inches thick on the tiny window on the top floor, and metal doors with automated locks. It had a small bulletproof and wolf proof window near the door with an intercom if I needed anything. The inside was simple, there was a loft to the left of the front door, I kept a small chair and all of my books there. The window at the top was too small for my wolf and barred in case my human wanted to leave. My bed was under the loft, a small kitchenette with a little sitting area in front was in the middle and a decent bathroom to the right. It had a fainter and a clawfoot tub my dad had brought from my room in the pack house, but other than that, it was very simple with no color or decorations on the wall. I didn't have a computer, or tv. I had a cd player and a stack of disks but not much else. I wasn't a "prisoner" per se, but, I was. I was dosed nightly with Wolfsbane and liquid silver, just enough to weaken my wolf, not kill me, because when she came out...the alpha himself couldn't command her. After four years I had started to build an immunity but at this point I didn't tell them I could taste it in my food. I was a shell of my former self. My lean muscles had deteriorated from lack of training, and I was fed just enough to live, not keep my strength, all in an attempt to weaken my crazy wolf. I was accustomed to my life, and after what I'd done I was lucky. I had a personal guard and attendant who had explicit instructions to kill me if I shifted in daylight, and after four years, we'd become friends. His name was Adam, and he and my brother had been friends. He was big like my brother, and had light brown wavy hair. He had a pointed jaw, and a goatee on the tip of it that was a dark blond. He had light brown eyes, and a pronounced forehead, and was covered in muscles. They all knew it wasn't my fault, an unmated wolf was crazy and unpredictable, but everyone pretty much stayed away from me except for Adam and my dad, Alpha Zabel. I walked into the pack house, about 200 yards from my cottage, for breakfast. The light snow from the night before crunched under my feet. Autumn was cold here. Mrs. Munchin was making bacon and the huge 12 burner stove when I walked in the back door from the garden, she was out lead Omega and she dutifully served the pack three meals a day. The kitchen was huge, with two long wooden tables for the pack to eat. A restaurant style kitchen was aligned to the back, and a door that led to the main house was beside it. She enjoyed her job, never raised her voice, and always hummed while she cooked, occasionally whispering orders to her other cooks or helpers. She took my hand in hers and looked at my fingertips. They were broken and had dried blood crusted to them, scabs from where they had split finally formed. "Rough night huh baby wolf?" She said sadly patting the back of my hand. "Make sure you go see Mr. Felding after breakfast." "Yes ma'am." I smiled to her meekly. He was the pack doctor. I knew they'd be healed up after breakfast, my healing ability was super fast, but she worried and I wasn't going to argue with her. She was too sweet to argue, and one of the few kind people left in my life. Even though I knew she fed me out of necessity, she didn't have to be nice, and she was. I sat down and began to eat quietly. Other pack members entered and ignored me as they thanked Mrs. Munchin and took a plate, heading to the far end of the other table. Adam sat beside me eating. He never let me sit alone. I felt bad for him always having to babysit me, I was grown after all and I'm sure he would have rather been sitting with everyone else. He nudged me and smiled, like he sensed my worry. I smiled back and finished my bacon. Just as I was about to stand up, my mom and dad walked in. I shrunk under my moms glare and looked at my shoes. She looked away at the others in the pack house and smiled. Her name was Ivy, and she was everything I wasn't. Beautiful, graceful, and a truly fearless Luna. She had short black hair that was always perfect. A pressed powder blue pants suit was perfectly fitted to her thin frame, a lacy blouse poking out from under it, and a simple but elegant matching diamond jewelry set shimmered from her wrist, neck, and ears. She reminded me of a more olive skinned Audrey Hepburn. Her mother had native blood a generation or so before, which gave her the most beautiful almond shaped eyes that were dark pools of brown mahogany. My dad however, gave me a small hug. "Good morning Zabella." He was a large man that held an intimidating stature. He had dark brown hair that he kept short and well styled and bright blue eyes. He always wore a dark colored suit, but had a calming and friendly heir about him. "Morning daddy." I said quietly, still looking at the floor. I noticed I was wearing my toe thin in the left boot. "Zabella, you are an alpha. Never look at the floor unless you're helping someone off of it." My eyes snapped up. "Yes sir." He looked at my fingers, and I tucked them into my pockets. "Have your hands looked at too, and then come to my office this afternoon." He looked at me tenderly, smiled and patted my head as he went to join my mother. They were so opposite each other. Adam walked behind me as I walked to the pack doctor. He was a small old man, with white hair and a frail body. He was nice because he had to be. We never spoke much. He smiled as I came in and sat on the table, almost like he was waiting for me, and wrapped my wounds. "Probably just a few more hours and the bandages can come off." "Thanks." I said sheepishly and went to my fathers office as slowly as I could. When I got to the door I could smell there were two other men in there with him. I heard slightly raised voices, and my father said, "That simply will not be possible, I don't care what your Alpha demands." Suddenly the door slammed open, almost crushing me and two huge men came storming out. I shrank against the wall, and Adam stood in front of me. I looked around him and saw two men storming down the stairs. One looked back and locked eyes with me, and his angry gaze made me uncomfortable. He had black hair and eyes, a rough black beard and mustache, like he hadn't shaved in a week, and was dressed in a leather jacket and black slacks. He made me terribly uneasy, and I thought I'd be sick. I quickly rushed into my father's office and Adam excused himself and shut the door. "Everything okay dad?" I asked as I sat down. "Fine sweet girl, don't worry yourself." He said flustered. He was never flustered, so I knew he was lying but it wasn't my place to press. I waited for him to remember why he called me there when suddenly he spoke again, "Zabella darling, I wanted to remind you the full moon is tonight." "I know dad. I'll be in my cottage early today. I promise." I said solemnly. Full moons caused me to shift early, and if I'm not in my cottage, I'd have to be executed. "I am sorry you'll miss the celebration." he began as he did every month. I cut him off, he felt terrible locking me up every night, "No dad, its ok. It's more important everyone's safe. It's best this way. At least I still get to be a part of the pack." He sighed and nodded that he was done. I smiled and as I left his office he said "I love you Zabella." "I know dad." I left quietly, Adam taking his place behind me. We walked out to the garden, once beautiful and full of flowers now barren as winter began to set in. I started making my way to the cottage. "You still have a few hours left." Adam said to me. I gave him a half smile and shrugged dejected. "It's ok. I can't do anything or go anywhere, I'm just going to go read or something. Besides, guests are starting to arrive." He nodded his head looking at the Escalade that just pulled in the driveway. Everyone knew my time was coming close. Every night I would shift and my wolf would hurt herself trying to get out. I'd wake up the next morning with broken fingers, burns from my door, and other wounds from trying to escape. A few hours into the day they'd be healed, and the cycle would start again. I wasn't allowed to shift and run, I was too dangerous, so I wasn't allowed in the forest so I wouldn't be tempted. I wasn't really allowed in the rest of the pack house either other than the kitchen, because I just made everyone uncomfortable, and my mother hated me. I was allowed in the library, kitchen, the garden, and my cottage. Eventually, my wolf would kill me out of misery for never finding her mate and also being secluded from the pack. I was slowing down. My senses were becoming duller. I was even healing slower than usual. It was almost my time, and honestly I was glad of it. I felt like the biggest burden ever, mostly on poor Adam. He volunteered for his position because his mate had been killed and he had no other responsibilities. How he survived her death I'll never know, but he took pity on me, and made sure I was taken care of. He wore a watch with the sunset alarms so I could be in my house with plenty of time, he made sure I ate, and kept me company during the day. We'd play board games and chess, and he liked me to read to him. He was my only friend, if you can call a body guard instructed to kill you a friend. He slept in a small room attached to my cottage, so I can't imagine he got much sleep with my wolf going psycho every night, but he never complained, and never tried to make me feel bad. I walked to the door of my cottage, a huge metal door, the inside lined with silver, which caused burns if I touched it. He opened it for me and stood outside as I entered. "You should go to the celebration tonight." I said smiling at him. "Not until you can go too." He smiled back. We both knew that was never going happen. He tried to keep my hopes up, he could see the depression eating me away day by day. I wasn't able to hide it anymore. I had bags under my eyes, and scars from what my wolf was doing to me every night. We pretended I didn't. "You might find your second chance?" I said. "The goddess isn't going to give me a second chance mate, and you none at all...she's not that cruel." He said kind of quietly. I nodded, "Thank you Adam. Goodnight." He smiled as I closed the door. He hit the large red button outside the house and the automatic door locks shifted heavily into place,while my heart thundered. They wouldn't open again until the sun rose the next morning. Maybe tonight would be my last. Full moons are always so much worse than normal shifts. Maybe my wolf would finally let this all end tonight.