THE AFTER PARTY

"How much longer until the food's ready? I'm getting bored sitting here by myself" Axel whines and I roll my eyes closing the pan with a lid again "Axel I am literally 5 steps away from you" I tut at him and he frowns "But if you sat here, I would be much happier" I look at him then decide to ignore his babyish whines and take two plates from the cupboard to pour us both a bowl of pasta  "Here you go" I place a plate in front of him as he picks up his phone and I serve my own food and sit next to him "Thank you" He says as I hand him a fork and I watch him take his first bite "Mhm" Seeing he that was satisfied made me just a little happier because today was not my day at all "It's good" He taps my back and returns his hand back to his fork "I tried a new recipe today" I explain to him as I see him still chowing down on his food "I can't really tell, all your pasta taste alright" He says with a mouthful and I punch his shoulder "I'm joking, joking! relax, I like all of it haha" I return my hands back to my side as he chokes on his food "Ow! You didn't even help!!" Axel shouts out when he clears his throat but I just ignore him and continue to stare at my food “You know I never even cooked for Jordan” I chuckle sadly as I make myself comfortable in my chair “I feel special then” He says lowly as he saw my mood had changed and I look down sadly “Hey-" Axel notices and places a hand of support on my shoulder "-you haven’t talked about him in a week, that’s progress” He says to reassure me. I look up at him and nod agreeing with him because even though I have been trying to not speak about him, doesn't mean I didn't think about him all the time Ever since Jordan had left 6 months ago, it had been tough without him. I didn’t realise how much I depended on him during my time in New York. Getting through it has been a weird process but I’m now in my second year of university here which is the least I could've done. I barely got into my second year again but luckily Axel and Alyssa were there to lift me up again after my fall and get me back to normal life I haven’t spoken to Jordan in what felt like over a year and my heart still yearned for him everyday. It got so bad to the point Alyssa had got frustrated and banned that name from this flat, claiming that if he really did love me, 'Why would he leave me behind?' And as time went on, I was slowly starting to believe that too.  sigh Week later, Axel insisted that I should be with him at all times after my nightmares started.  Oh yeah, the nightmares.  Well I’ve been getting them ever since the car crash happened, that day still haunted me and my nightmares would make me relive the whole day again especially the parts of Jordan's torture, it literally gave me no mercy.  So after they had worsened, the nightmares I mean, there seemed to be no cure, I've gone for several checkup but the doctors could not seem to distinguish what was causing it, so Axel took it upon himself to now sleeps in my room to help calm down when I'd start to scream in the middle of the night.  I know what you're thinking, AXEL?! I know, I know and I also know Alyssa was getting fed up with the lack of sleep she was getting when it was her job, even though she never really said anything.  Even though, Axel sleeps on the floor, I would always tend to roll off the bed onto him all the time at the worse times, so I've been thinking about asking him to transfer to my bed....I mean he is technically my brother at this point so that should be fine...right? “Hey, you need to stop starving yourself, here, I’ll feed you” Knowing that Jordan could be out there somewhere hurting or possibly dead scared me more than anything and once that thought entered my mind my appetite would always just disappear “I’m not that hungry” I sigh holding my head “Skye, Jordan’s gonna be pissed if he finds out you’re not eating, this is the third dinner this week you're not eating” That was his only way of getting to me “Skye, Jordan's going to be mad if you leave the house with no coat",  "Skye, Jordan's going to be pissed if you fail your end of year exams"  And last but not least"Skye, Jordan’s gonna be pissed if he knew you’re still working at the restaurant” was his words to me after Mr Matthews said he had to let me go and I knew he had something to do with it because when I tried to beg for it back Axel was already there waiting to take me home even though I never told him I was there  "If you want to work so bad, come work at the company. Me and Blade are gonna run it for a while” He told me as I opened his car door angrily because I just lost my job “I thought you left the family, why are you at the company?!” He rolls his eyes looking out the window as he begins to drive but I still notice him “So I'm guessing Jordan has told you” was his only response that day and we went straight to the company to get me started for the new 'job' That I didn't ask for "Skye if you don't eat you're not going to be strong for tomorrow's workload" Axel sighs presently who was trying to get me to eat but he disrupts my thoughts, however they quickly run back in, as I reminisce these past few months again Alyssa was over the moon once she found out that I would be working along her and I felt more comfortable having Alyssa being there, as Blade me feel the quite opposite “Aren’t you the girl that has like a massive crush on my baby bro?” Blade asked me when Axel reintroduced us “She’s dating him you d**k” Axel answers for me and I look at Axel surprised that he didn’t refer to me as his ex-girlfriend as Jordan broke up with me  OH Oh I forgot to mention that Jordan left me a voice note!! It could've been a week later or two after, but all I remember from that day was me getting excited that he had tried to call me but the events after that wasn't as joyous as my starting mood. I clicked the button happily to listen to the voicemail he had left and as time went on all I could pick out was him telling me that he didn’t love me anymore and that I needed to let him go for good.  I know!  FOR GOOD?! I KNOW I KNOW don't worry, I know I know he was lying, trying to get me away somehow but that doesn’t define the fact he broke up with me and when I showed Axel to listen, it was as if he knew that Jordan f****d up big time but he was more happy than shocked. As for Alyssa on the other hand? That was the day her hate for Jordan began “Oh isn’t she the assistant though?” Blade scrunches his brows looking at Axel and Axel tuts “Non passa niente per quella testa spessa, l'ha detto solo come copertura per nasconderla (doesn’t anything go through that thick head, he only said that as a front to hide her)” Axel snaps at him and I nod slwoly understanding what he said  “Ti ha appena capito? what the f**k, ti ha appena capito? (she just understood you? what the f**k, did she just understand you?)” Blade looks at me surprised as he chuckles at the irony “Tu mi capisci? (you understand me?)” He asks me and I bite my lip and look down but he took it as my answer “Sono quello grosso ma mi hai appena parlato in italiano quando lei può ancora capirti (I’m the thick one but you just spoke to me in Italian when she can still understand you)” Blade laughs out loud and I shake my head as he was being childish “I don’t understand everything, just some bits and I piece the meanings together” I explain to him and he nods rubbing his chin interested "So what if she understands, doesn't concern you anyways" Axel steps in front of my ready to fight his bother but I hold his arm to pull him back Axel had taken it upon himself to teach me Italian as he explained 'it was important'  for when Jordan was to come back. After he had convinced me of all that rubbish, I asked if Jordan knew about it and he claimed he did, so I started to learn bits and pieces and after a month or two of Axel teaching me, I was able to pick up some terms already “You’ll be with me all day in Jordan’s office, you don’t have to do much just be good and make me coffee” Axel informs to me on the first day but as my first month went on, it seemed to be the opposite. Instead, I was doing all the financing whilst Axel would just sleep on Jordan’s couch. Not that I cared, I didn’t mind at all, actually being in there made me feel closer to Jordan, even though his scent was starting to disappear from there making me lose my last bits of hope as well I haven’t been to Jordan’s mansion for 6 months, ever since that day, that was the last time we ever made love before he left me. I swallow as my thoughts were getting deeper and look at Axel typing on his phone as he had given up on trying to feed me again “Who’s that?” I ask him curiously trying to clear my head “Jordan. I’m telling him you’re not eating” My eyes widen and I sit up quickly “Wait seriously!!?” I reach over to him but he pulls back “Chill, it’s just my baby ma” I drop my shoulders disappointed and shake my head “You could just call her your girlfriend considering the fact you two aren’t actually having a kid” I explain to Axel and he shakes his head back at me “But I plan on giving her my beautiful children, so where do we go from here?” Axel replies and I squint my eyes at him so confused “You really are thick” I repeat Blade's words from that day and he shrugs going back to typing on his phone I too pick up my phone and click on Jordan’s name revealing the several messages sent by me, all reading the same message since 100 days ago “I love you.”  I made sure to send him one every single day when I regained my strength again, just incase he didn’t actually get rid of his phone, so he knew that I haven't given up and also...  I was just too scared to dial it.  I’ve been slacking for a few days though, because it was my exams week and the office was crazy busy because of the amount of people out on business trips. Alyssa too had gone to Kansas to sign a deal of Axel's because he was too lazy like always, so at this point don't be surprised “Hey, there’s something I need to tell you” Axel drops his phone and looks up at me “There’s a business trip for me and you” He tells me and I look at him surprised “Seriously? To where?” I ask getting excited that finally I was able to leave this area for a bit “Italy” He looks at me for my reaction which made me confused cause I didn't know how he wanted me to act "Hmmm" I nod thinking about it “What?” I ask confused at the way he was staring at me “Nothing" He shakes his head ripping his attention off me and I shrug "If you want to know if I am happy, I am. I’m happy we are going Italy, after all that’s where the famous Blacks are from, right?” His smile slowly appears and he nods at my statement “That's right” “So when?” I ask as he stands up from his chair and gets his jacket from the couch “Next week just after you’re done with exams, see how smart I am” I nod taking it in “How many days?” “Hm? I’m not sure, I’ll tell you all about it when I’m back from my smoke” He takes his cigarette packet out his pocket and I nod watching him “And when I’m back, that plate better be empty!” He warns me and I nod smiling evilly as he leaves  ‘Omg Italy, I’ve always wanted to go places in Europe ever since Jordan brought it up. I wasn’t exactly sure where Jordan was located but considering the fact Jordan was "on the run" I doubted he would go to where everyone would find him so my idea of seeing him went straight into the bin' I stand up from where I was seated and take my plate off the table. Using my foot to open the bin, I grab my cutlery and use it to empty the food inside “He said he wanted it empty but he didn’t specify how he wanted it empty” I say to myself smugly and place my plate into the sink "I'm so tired" I yawn as I take my phone from the table but I really wanted to hear about the trip so I decide to wait for Axel so I throw myself onto the couch  “Hey” Axel comes back in a few minutes later and shuts the door behind him “It’s pretty late, let’s get to sleep” He walks to my room and I quickly follow behind him “Wait you didn’t tell me about the trip” “Ah I'm- Can we not talk about it tomorrow?” He looks back at me as he opens the door and I shake my head as I follow him in "Please tell me" I whine and he sighs "Fine fine" He takes his shirt off showing off his 6 pack ab sculpted body but I wasn't phased at all, even though his body was insane I was pretty much used to seeing it now “So it’s a 2 day trip, all we’re gonna do is meet some new clients and be back quicker than a snap of my fingers” He snaps his fingers in my face making me jump “Axel” I shout his name and he chuckles rubbing his belly “It’s gonna be fun, cause we are gonna go clubbing too” He says excitedly but I swallow “I hate clubs, you know that” I say seriously killing his mood “No you hate Jordan’s club” He corrects me and I sigh laying back He really thought I hated clubbing because of Jordan's club but the real reason I hated it, was because of the one time Alyssa had convinced me that I needed to get out of the house, so after a long time of her pleading, just like the first weeks of me meeting her...I gave in *Flashback scene* The music was just blasting but I was just too overly drunk so when I fell into someones arms they instantly embraced me reminding me of how Jordan used to hold me "Jordan I love-" I push the man off me that I had grabbed and kissed thinking it was Jordan but when I realised it wasn't him, I almost threw up running the other way  “Alyssa” I pull her into the bathroom and try to sober myself up “I kissed someone” I look at her scared and she smiles “So?” She chuckles relived because she thought it was something bad but I was still panicking “I kissed another guy” I say as my eyes start to wake up again “Ermmm...have you forgotten you’re single, this is great, baby steps and you’ll eventually get over him” I swallow as I start to feel sick again “I can’t just get over him like that” She hugs me so that I could stop moving around “I said baby steps, I know you care about him, so there’s no rush, no rush at all” She pulls back and looks at me “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met” She whispers and I force a smile “Thanks for taking my bullshit for so long” I whisper as my voice cracks “Skye no, stop, I love you Sh” She hugs me tight again *Flashback end* I shudder thinking about that night and focus on Axel as I realise he had been talking to me the whole time “-But it’s alright, I’ve got his club and his business all sorted with the help of his trusted girlfriend” He finishes up whatever he was talking about “Ex girlfriend*” I correct him and he lays down on the ground and I shuffle to look at him “You know he didn’t mean it Skye” He sighs looking into my eyes but I ignore him and pat my bed “Could you come sleep here on my bed so I don’t have to fall on you again” He looks at me weirdly  “Ew I have a boyfriend” I say as I know he was thinking weirdly “AH HA! SO YOU KNOW!” He shouts at me and I roll my eyes “Are you gonna come or not?” He thinks for a while then gets up and throws himself on my bed and I lose my balance as it dips “Oh my, I haven’t slept on a real bed in months” He makes himself comfortable “Axel you sleep with your girlfriend all the time” “Yeah but that doesn’t count because I f**k her then come right here to sleep with you” I slap his chest at the TMI and he grunts “That sounded weird, you i***t!” He rubs his chest and I shake my head smiling because of his funny whines “Okay okay get some sleep” I see him swallow and sit up looking at me laying down “Move away from me weirdo” I push him further away from me as he was looking for way too long “Oh I thought you wanted to cuddle” He pouts finally looking away “You cuddle me when I wake up in the middle of the night all the time, so what are you talking about?” “You’re not even awake when I cuddle you” He breathes out “I think that’s the point of you being here everyday” I turn to him "Your cuddles are-" I try to think about it but I never really remembered what they felt like cause I would be shaking too much to think about anything else  “I dunno" I shrug and look up to him "When will the nightmares stop?” I ask him getting afraid because they really did scare me “Don't worry, I used to have them when I was younger” He swallows “But my mum would sleep with me so that when they’d come, she's be there to hold me” He looks down sadly and I put my hand on his “I had very bad sleep paralysis as well, f**k, those were scary as f**k, I’m so glad they went away, I think I am just more scared that it might start happening to you” He brings his hand up and pushes his dark hair back and I take this time to look at him again Axel was a very good looking boy and everyday I’d look at him and never really know why girls weren’t after him like Jordan. He has a nose piercing and a lip piercing and just a few tattoos here and there but not as drastic as Jordan's. His hair was black and long on the sides so he looked more or less like one of those skater boys. However, his dark brown eyes gave him a much darker toned look feeding into his looks even more “Stop feeling sorry for me and sleep” He snaps his fingers in front of me as he thought I was feeling bad for him and lays down making the bed move “I expect you to be awake when it happens” I say closing me eyes “Don’t worry I’m just here, I am going to turn the lights off” He gets up and walks towards to door "Come here" He says randomly facing away from me and I open my eyes to look at him weirdly "What?" He doesn't move so I roll my eyes and shuffle out the bed towards him. He locks the door as I see his jaw clenching and I try to pull away but he holds my wrist quickly and pulls it together towards my other hand "What are you doing?" I look at him confused as he starts to move us back to the bed "I know you've been trying to catch my attention" He whispers and my eyes widen "W-What do you mean?" "Do you know who you are messing with?" His voice was deep almost growling and I fall onto the bed as he drops me 'I didn't think he'd noticed' I think in my head looking up at him "So, are you gonna apologise?" He crawls on top of me and I smirk "Make me" In a spilt second he was stripping me, unclipping my bra and attacking my bare neck with his lips. ------------------- omg I'm back!!  how have you guys been??  ME? I am so upset cause England has gone into another lockdown unfortunately, but I still have to go to uni full time which is stress but who cares Joe Biden won!!! yessir love to see it  and our first female vice president ?? a true queen periodt I hope you're keeping safe in these times and thank you for all the emails and feedback on MR. JORDAN BLACK xox