The Paddy

By Michael Juha getmybox@hotmail.com -------------------------   When I was twelve, I used to visit a rice paddy a few meters away from our house. The paddy, measuring like 150 square meters, was situated at the foot of a hill which teemed with wild plants. I liked the place so much because on its edge, big trees provided cool shades and refreshing air, not to mention the wild fruits like guavas and papayas ready for grabs on certain seasons. Nearby, a small freshwater creek provided for an added touch of communing with nature if not an invitation for a swim. On the hill, I could see the bird’s-eye view of my entire village, a place of just around fifty families where everyone knows everybody, even the names of each neighbors’ pets.     The paddy was under the charge of Ben, a boy of my age. He was much bigger, with a body so firm and a skin as brown as the mud he assiduously tilled. His arms were strong, and in his eyes reflected the physical hardships he passed through all those tender years of his life.     Ben was the fourth child of six brothers and four sisters; the eldest being sixteen, the next, fifteen, then thirteen, and so on – a gap of about a year in succession. His family was big, noisy, and even messy. And even if there were many of them to share with whatever little there was with the family, I liked their set-up; unlike my family which was boring. I mean, probably because being the youngest kid, the next sibling closest to me was ten years older. So, at my age of twelve, both my sisters and an only brother had their own separate families to look after. I was like an only child, left alone in the house most of the time when my parents would work in the farm.     My friendship with Ben was born out of accident. Before that, I knew him only by name. But one Saturday noon while I was taking a dip at the creek, something happened. I thought the water was shallow. It was too late when I realized it was deep enough to drown me. The water sucked me down and things happened so quickly. I tried hard to wriggle my hands and feet to lift myself to the surface and shout for help. But nobody was around. As I engulfed more and more water, I resigned myself to death.     Suddenly, someone pulled my hair up and dragged me to the edge of the creek. It was Ben. He laid me on my back and pressed my belly hard. As I coughed the water out of me, he laughed in delight. I was flustered for a moment. And when things cleared up in my mind, I half-heartedly joined him in laughter.     “Are you okay?” he asked with a tepid smile as his eyes worriedly gazed through my face. It was like his mind was scanning me for some proof if I was really okay.     “Ah… yeah. I am,” was my brief answer as I avoided his eyes.     “So, you don’t know how to swim, huh?”      “N-no.  Maybe, I’ll learn later,” I answered sheepishly.  “Thank you for saving me.”     “No sweat! If you like, I’ll teach you how to swim.”     “You will? Yes, I like that!” I answered excitedly.     That was the beginning of my close friendship with Ben. And it was also the beginning of my fondness to visit his paddy. Ben had saved my life and later, I owed him another thing – learning how to swim.     I became close to his family too. It was with Ben and his brothers that I experienced real brother stuffs – companionship, friendship, amicable fights, funny moments, even crazy things like what real brothers do. For me, theirs was a great and happy family.  I mean, except for one thing – their father reared them with utmost discipline to the point of cruelty. He would not hesitate to punish them with reckless abandon even for simple childish mistakes.     Ben lost his mother after giving birth to his youngest sibling. And since then, his eldest sister, Selena took up the mantle that her mother left behind. Luckily, Selena was a very responsible and caring sister. She had a strong personality and a positive disposition. She was fragile yet firm in her stand. She was naive, yet unafraid to sacrifice and protect her family, like a real mother would. For this, her siblings love her.     Ben’s father worked in an inter-island cargo vessel. I’m not sure of the nature of his job but I remember seeing him in picture carrying two men on his shoulders. He was a big, strong man, and an expert in martial arts. Once a year, he would spend his one-month vacation with his family. When that comes, everyone was well-behaved, and everything should be in proper order. Or else…     I remember a time when Ben’s older brother failed to return home immediately from an errand. His father tied his legs after some lashings, hang him upside down by the branch of a tree. And as if it was not enough, a smoke was induced underneath the dangling offender to fumigate him as if he was some kind of a pest. “How many times did I tell you to return immediately after you bought the item, you idiot! You still didn’t learn, did you!” His father’s voice thundered in anger. His ordeal lasted for two hours and nobody among his brothers dared rescue him lest they would suffer the same fate. It was one brutal and horrendous punishment. Just the thought of seeing him in that position sends shivers down my spine.     But eventually, I became used to that sight. It was one thing which made me thankful of my parents. With my father, I never remember having received even a single lashing. With my mother, a few “blah-blah-blahs” and a promise not to repeat it would already suffice.     One day, I visited Ben again in his paddy. I brought him a surprise.     “A slingshot!” he exclaimed as he held it in his hand, admiring how skillful its prongs were made. “Didi you make this?”     “No.”     “Did you buy this?     “No. My father made it.”     “Wow! Do you really want to give this to me?”     I nodded. “Of course!”     “Thanks so much! This will help me drive away rampaging animals in my paddy!” He paused. “Wait… Did you say your father made this?”     “Yeah! Why?”     “Won’t he be angry to know that you give it to me?”     “No. I can always ask my father to make another one if I want,” I replied.     “Really? Your father won’t turn you down if you ask him to do something?”     “No. If I ask him to make me something, he will do it.”     He kept still. I noticed sadness in his face. “How I wish I could randomly ask my father the same things…” he said almost in murmur.     “Of course, you can. All fathers are like that, they can’t say no...”     He nodded. “Uhm,” was his short reply.     “Do you love your father?” I asked him breaking the silence.     “Yes, I do. He’s the only father I have. Whether I like it or not, that’s the truth. It’s sad. It may even hurt. But they say that truth hurts sometimes,” he answered giving me a sad look.     I paused for a moment. He was right. In this life, there’s only one father. “But how do you deal with your father’s anger?” I asked again.     “Love defeats hatred. You can’t defeat fire with fire, nor hatred with hatred. Nobody wins.”     “But his… punishment is so brutal.”     He released a deep sigh. “We are a big family and father is just doing it to prevent us from making mistakes.”     “Don’t you blame your father?”     “No. We understand him. If I blame him, then I also have to blame my mother, my siblings, and maybe everyone. If I blame everyone for my misfortune, life will be miserable.”     “Your heart is good…”     “I just don’t think that blaming someone helps. He’s my father after all.”     “You’re right.”     “Besides, I do believe that there is no such thing as a perfect family. The joy of having a family is when everyone shares everything, including problems – no matter how big, and overcome them together. If a family can do that, it means there is love. And when there is love, they stay strong. And if they stay strong, nothing can make it crumble. It’s what a family should be.”     It was my turn to keep silent. At his age, I couldn’t believe that he could talk with sense like a grown-up person. And he was right again when he said that there is no perfect family. In my case, even if I was blessed with loving parents, I felt that something was still lacking. At home, I felt so alone and lonely. “I admire you. You are so strong,” was my reply.     The following day when I visited his paddy, I noticed something with the slingshot I gave him. He converted its leather ammunition holder into a nylon rope. “What happened?” I asked.     “Oh yeah…” he answered. “This part, instead of using pebbles for ammunition, I will use this!” He opened his sling bag and showed me the new ammunitions.     “Arrows!” I exclaimed.     There was a huge grin on his face. “Don’t you think it’s awesome? We can hunt fish with this arrow. We can also hunt birds, even wild boars!” He exclaimed.     He pulled out one arrow from his bag and set it on the slingshot. He then proceeded to demonstrate how he brought down a coconut from its tree with only a single shot fired. “Bull’s eye!”     He was really good. I was amazed.     “These arrows are so sharp that one arrow can c***k a stone or penetrate a coconut shell. If I used only a stone as ammunition, I could not bring down that coconut,” he boasted. “So, this is way, way better...”     I nodded in agreement.     Ben and I went to the same school. We were inseparable. Even if I was a small kid at my age, there was Ben who would protect me from bullies. Ben was one of the tough guys in school and everybody respected his stature. Being his best friend, I earned a little of that respect too. In return, I would help him out in class assignments. I can say that there was symbiosis between us. We shared so many things from foodstuffs, playthings, to whatever was there to share. And our favorite hang-out after school was the paddy.     “What do you want to be when you grow up?” He would ask.     “I want to become a priest.”     “Why?”     “Because when I die, I want to go to heaven.”     “Ah… a saint!” Then he would laugh as if there was something unusual with my answer.     “How about you?”     “Me? I want to be a seafarer like my father. I like the seas, the ship, and I want to travel around the world!” He would optimistically shout his answer as if he was so sure about the future. “When that time comes, I’ll give you a free ride on my ship!”     One day, Ben was absent in class. When I visited him after school, I found him hanging upside down under that infamous tree of execution. My heart throbbed so fast.  I knew something was amiss.     “I woke up late for school and couldn’t rise up because I felt sick. My father got furious he thought I was making up a story. He forced me to go to the paddy to remove the weeds. I couldn’t work for long under the scorching sun and I took a rest. He caught me…” Ben narrated in an agonizing voice. His skin was badly bruised as a result of hard caning but he never cried. He had totally accepted his ordeal as if it was the punishment that he rightfully deserved.     I could feel he was very sick. His vigorous expressions were gone and on his pale face reflected the pain and exhaustion. How I wished I could help him. But all I could do was to watch him suffer.     An hour later, he was released. I helped him struggle into the house, laid him on the bare wooden floor as I sat beside him. We talked about what had happened in school, the activities, the lessons, the teachers, and other things.     “Tomorrow when you’ll be fine, I’d like to have a swimming match with you. Maybe this time, it will be my turn to win.” I challenged to give him a boost.     “Deal! And I’ll prove you’ll never – ever win,” he teased me. “You can’t defeat a seafarer like me!” he exhaustedly extended his hand to lock his index finger with mine in our unique fraternal handshake. He released a faint smile. I could see the pain on his face.     “Okay. Let’s see it tomorrow!”     So, I went home with the thought that Ben would have the whole night’s rest and we would be together in school the following day, just like we used to. It was 5:30 in the afternoon.     But just a few minutes after I arrived home, Ben’s brother came, “Junior, Ben is in the paddy!” he said.     “What? Again? He’s sick and it’s getting dark! What is he doing there?” I asked in total bewilderment.     “Father sent him there,” he answered.     I hurried to the paddy and there I saw Ben in the middle pushing the manual weeder. But he was not alone. At the foot of the hill, there were Selena and her father. The two seemed to be arguing fiercely. I could figure out that Selena didn’t approve of Ben working in the paddy.     “I am the father of this family. I provided you with whatever you need! Whatever I say, all of you must obey without questions!” his father yelled.     “Yes, you are the father and yes, you provided for the family. But you are killing us! Look at Ben!” pointing his finger towards Ben, “He can barely move and you still force him to work? At this time? What kind of father will let his sick son work and at this time of the day? When will you stop to punishing him?” Selena yelled back.     “Until he learns to work harder! Until he learns to obey and respect me!”     “Of course, he obeys you! No one in the family disobeys you! But he is sick! You can’t do it to him like this!”     “He obeys me? You consider obeying when he answers me back?”     “He didn’t answer you back! He was trying to reason out, to stress his point!”     “He raised his voice towards me!”     “Because you wouldn’t listen to him! He has his own mind, for God’s sake! He can talk! He can feel!” Selena then turned back from her father. She was fuming. “We have to go home Ben. You need to rest!”     “So, you want to rebel now?” Her father screamed as he instantaneously followed her.     “Yes, because this is brutality! This is tyranny! And you are killing your child!” Selena answered back as she grabbed Ben by the arm and pulled him towards the way home.”     But before Ben could move, their father grabbed Selena’s hair from the back. She could not free herself from her father’s clutch. Suddenly, a powerful jab hit Selena in the head. She fell down.     Their father pulled up Selena’s hair again, and forced her to stand. Then another powerful jab landed on her face. For the second time, she fell into the mud and became unconscious.     I was petrified at how suddenly things unfolded in front of me. The next thing I saw was their father stooping down on Selena and punched her repeatedly in the face even if she was no longer moving.     It was in this instance when I saw Ben aiming his slingshot at his father. It was so fast!     “Noooooo!” I shouted on top of my voice.     But it was too late. Things happened so quickly that the next thing I saw was nearly the whole length of the arrow penetrating into his father’s forehead.     I was stunned. It was so freaky I couldn’t even utter a word as I watched terrifyingly his father with the arrow still impaled in his forehead struggled to grab Ben’s neck. It was like I saw it all in a slow motion. And just as his father finally stretched his arm to reach Ben, he collapsed into the mud beside Selena.     I rushed to Ben and held his shoulders. I was trembling. “Why did you do that!” I screamed on top of my lungs.     But Ben couldn’t answer me. He was too exhausted and in so much shock to even look at me.     Their father was pronounced dead about an hour after he arrived at the hospital. Selena on the other hand recovered her consciousness although her face was full of cuts and bruises, some needing stiches.     -----     The following day, I decided to go directly to Ben’s house after my classes. But when I arrived, another bombshell stunned me – Ben didn’t wake up anymore!     “Since this morning?” I asked his brother.     “We discovered just now,” He answered. “We thought he was just sleeping and very tired so we didn’t disturb him. We didn’t even wake him up last night for father’s first night of wake. We know how sick and shocked he was of what had happened. But now we found out he’s not breathing anymore!”     It seemed like a thunderbolt had hit me. Everything had suddenly blacked out. The next thing I remember was in front of Ben. I was standing there looking at him. He was carefully laid on the bed beside the coffin of his father. It was like he was just sleeping, although in his face reflected the t*****e and the merciless ordeal he endured before death had caught up on him.     “I thought we will go swimming today and I will defeat you!” I wailed on top of my lungs like a helpless child as I hugged and shook his cold body. “I thought you would be a seafarer and you will give me a free ride on your ship!”     But Ben never heard me anymore. And there was no consolation. It was like my whole world had collapsed and I died a thousand deaths. I lost a brother, a best friend, and a hero.     Ben’s life was so paradoxical. He wanted his family to be strong, but it was ruined by his mere indiscretion. He wanted love and to defeat hatred, but he was consumed by it.     And again, he was right. If you fight hatred with hatred, no one wins...     Nobody really questioned the reason behind Jake’s death. Even in death, our neighbors continued to fear Ben’s father. All we were made to believe was that he died of sickness. Of course, deep in everyone’s minds, it was more than that. But no one was brave enough to intrude into the affairs of Jake’s family. Our neighbors were simply too accepting, or perhaps too terrified to find the truth. Or perhaps, it’s because Ben didn’t want to put the blame on anyone, lest his life would be miserable…   Whatever the reason was, I had lost a brother, a best friend, and a hero.     -----     Now, twenty years later, I never made it to be a priest as Ben had known I dreamed to be. Just like his dream to be a seafarer, it all vanished with him.     When I visited the paddy again, there was no more trace of the old place where Ben and I used to play or share our childishness. The place which used to teem with green surge of rice and lush vegetation of wild fruits and groves in its hillsides had now become a part of a construction site of a housing subdivision, a testament to the changing faces of time. I searched for the creek where Ben had saved me and where our friendship had started. But it too had lost its life. Like Ben, they all had vanished in sight.     I know I will never come to see the paddy again. But as long as I live, Ben and his memories will continue to live on…     END.