Fix Me, I'm Broken

Prologue* *Flashback* Mommy and I were alone while Daddy and my brothers went to the store to go get something to eat for Mommy's birthday. Mommy is turning 39 years old today. Right now I'm playing with my puppy downstairs. Mommy is upstairs, getting dressed. Suddenly I hear things being thrown upstairs. I run upstairs and see Mommy sitting on her bed, holding a silver thing in her right had. "Mommy, what's that?" I ask. "This," Mommy points to the thing, "is what I was going to use to kill you but I can't do it. It's all your fault but I can't kill you. Because of you your father pays no attention to me. Always being Daddy's little princess. I wanted to kill you for some time now but I can't do it. You're just a child. So before I kill myself I want to tell you that," Mommy points the silver object to her head, "I'm not your mother." Mommy squeezes the thing and with a loud bang, she falls to the floor. I run to my mommy, shaking her, "Mommy?!" Daddy must've heard me because I then heard someone running up the stairs. "What have you done?" he yells. Daddy pushes me away. ~~~~~~~ I find out later, when I'm older, that the person I called 'Mommy' had shot herself and left my father to raise my brothers and I alone. My father blamed me for his mistress's death. I was just a kid with no power over my 'Mommy's' actions but that didn't matter to my father. He needed someone to blame and I was there to blame. I also found out that my 'Mommy' left a note for me, but after all this time my father has kept that note from everyone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *12 years later It's been twelve years since Ruby, my father's lover, killed herself. My name is Nikki Night. I'm seventeen now and that night I saw something that no five year old should ever see. After that incident, my father wouldn't even look at me. My older brother, P.J, would take care of us since our father would drown himself in alcohol. Our father would go to work in the morning and come home drunk. He would hit me every time he'd see me. P.J knew nothing about my beatings. My litte brother, Kenny, would sometimes see our father hitting me but he was only four years old at the time so he was too young to understand what was going on. I didn't fight against my father until my sixteenth birthday when he was so drunk that he didn't care if I was his daughter. On my sixteenth birthday, I was r***d by my father. That day I actually had doubts that we were related. What kind of father would do that to their daughter, no matter how much he hates her? Now, like I said, it's been twelve years and I'm now a senior in high school. At school, I keep to myself. I don't like attention on me. Besides, if I ever get a friend, my father would punish me. At school, I'm the quiet goth chick. Every one thinks I'm mute. P.J graduated from high school three years ago at the age of eighteen. Kenny is now fifteen and a freshman. Kenny isn't embarrassed to talk to me in school but I tell him not to talk to me because then people would talk about him, too, and I don't want that. No one bothers me. Sure, they talk about me but I don't get bullied. I'm fine with that really. This is my story and I'm going to share it with you.