Mixed Feelings

"You are right, I have to move on with my life. But I can't I really can't..... I tried so hard to move on but... He destroyed me beyond repair " I said, hiccuping like a kid. "I loved him...I loved him like there tomorrow... You know what hurts...betrayal, thoughtlessness, uncaring attitudes towards the one who you said that you love them and did all those promises to be with.. I gave him my life and I never take back a gift, for in this life honesty and integrity mean so much. The word I gave him..was my bond not because I feel chained.. but because I honor him and love him more than everything that I am. So..when he acted like it was nothing that I gave I am hurt in a way that cuts to the core of who I am." Tears were streaming down my eyes, I couldn't stop them as I know very well that this is going to happen...I know that this going to happen in the future. This is all my doing and for that this is the punishment. I deserve this. My heartache had rung me out until I was dry inside, no more tears would come. My insides still felt as raw as if a winter wind was blowing right through my skin. The last conversation haunted me, taunted me, replaying like an echo. My appetite had dwindled to nothing. I wiped my tears with my hand and said,  "Two can play this game Enzo".