Finding Me

"I like your hair." A girl played with my wavy jet black hair. "Thank you." I looked down as I played with my fingers "I'm Becky." She said perkily. "What's yours?" "S-s-stefanie." I stuttered. "That's a pretty name. How old are you?" "Fourteen." "Me too." I'm guessing we have different classes since I've seen her around but never had a class together. "Stefanie!" I heard my name, and I snapped my head around to see it was my mother. "I gotta go." I tightened the grip on the strap of my knapsack and ran over to where she stood. "Come on let's go." She gripped my shoulder firmly. My mother was not the best of mothers, but I had a place to rest my head at night. She was utterly strict, and since my father died she got even worse. We stood at the bus stop and waited for the upcoming bus. The cool spring breeze hit my pale skin, it was so close to winter. We waited in line for us to get on the bus. Home was not far, and we got there in a matter of minutes. "Come on, go change up and start cleaning. I'll be home at eight so make sure dinner is ready by then." She said sternly before slamming the door shut. I rushed up to change my clothes. I had to make sure this house was cleaner than a whistle and a hot dinner on the table before she got back, or I'd have to suffer a merciless beating. My mother was quite religious and was well known as that type of woman in the community, I dared not go to the authorities since she knew everyone there. They have no idea who she is behind closed doors. Sometimes she'll come home in a bad mood and beat me till I was weak. If I did something and it wasn't good enough I'll be punished with a beating and no dinner, which I had cooked. I had a best friend who comforted me through it all, she was not mom's favourite since she stood up for me. One day she came to me and told me she was moving. That literally broke me down, I really miss her here with me. I came back down to dust the antiques, then sweeping the rooms and scrubbing the floors. After that was complete I washed up the dirty dishes and started on dinner. I glanced up at the clock, 7:25 PM. I prayed that the meal would be finished before she comes, so I could sneak a bit into my room since I don't get enough to eat. It's 7:36 PM, I turned off the stove before quickly running up the stairs to get my secret bowl out of my book back, rushing back down to put some food in it and returned it back. I hurriedly cleaned up the kitchen, as soon as I finished wiping the counters the door swung open, and she stepped in. "Evening mother." I nervously fidget with my fingers, not sure what's her current mood like. "Come eat." I grabbed a plate, holding it for her to put food in. "Eat quickly. You have to study, then clean the dishes and after you have to wash up for bed." I walked over to the table and I sat down to eat. I gulped down my food in a hurry since bedtime is at ten cause I do have homework and have to study for a test. I kept my grades up regardless of it all. I finished off my dinner and ran upstairs to start my homework. I had enough time to complete my English and studied for my math test before mother called me to clean up after dinner. Seems like mother was in a good mood tonight. Thank goodness. When the kitchen was cleaned I went back up to continue my homework, then started to study for my social studies test. Completing my work in a time frame, I took a warm shower. I let the warm water cascade over my body, soothing me. My body was enhanced for a fourteen-year-old, puberty hit me at the early age of twelve. I was tall and slim. My busts were popping and my curves were visible through anything I wore. My brunette hair was wavy and long, and my eyes were brown, though my confidence didn't grow with me. I got to be in bed before she comes to check, I switched off my light and laid on my bed, waiting for my mother to check on me. I heard the door creak and I closed my eyes, faking sleep. After a few minutes of watching me, she finally left, softly closing the door. I laid on my back as I looked up at the ceiling blankly. I miss my dad, my mother said I look and act like him. The truth is I do look like my dad, but my actions are far from him. He was outspoken and always stood up for himself, as well as me. He wasn't afraid to say what was on his mind no matter who or what it was, he was afraid of nothing. If something was happening that he didn't like, there'd be no way he'd sit there and let it happen. He always told me education is the key to unlock doors, but always put God first, cause without salvation I'll be lost. I took my education serious to make my dad proud. The salvation part I'm not really sure about. My mother says she's a Christian and God's always on her side. What have I done, for God to punish me like this? Every time I choose to take to learning of God, my mother just does something to change my mind. Makes me wonder, why would God do that to someone. I wish dad was here to explain to me, so I'd understand and tell the difference between God's love and abuse. I drifted to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~