The Summer Of My Life

United States, here I come!

— Don't forget to give Grandma a really tight hug. I miss you.

Aline speaks with a shy smile on her face. I sat next to her and held her hand.

— When you're ready, come visit us. Grandma misses you as much as she misses me and I would love to spend another day at the lake with my annoying little sister in the galoshes!

I tickle her belly and the little one falls onto the bed giggling as she squirms. I hug her tightly and hear her laugh muffled by my body.

I get off her small body and see her face red from laughing and her messy hair. With a huge smile on her face, Aline sits down on the bed.

—I will be there soon. You won't get rid of me that easy!

I kiss her cheek and hear the sound of an insistent horn.

— Come on, help me put the bags in the car before Priscila wakes up the whole neighborhood.

Aline laughs picking up her suitcase. We leave the house and Priscila waves to us. The Frenchwoman was in her Porsche wearing only a pair of kitten pajamas.

"Come on mon amour, I'm so sleepy I might crash this car!"

— Speak lower crazy, you'll wake up the whole condominium!

I say getting into the car and she rolls her eyes.

— Let it be clear that I'm only helping you around two o'clock in the morning so you don't die at the hands of a crazy taxi driver!

I hug the Frenchwoman by the side of her body and kiss her cheek. The truth is, I would miss her and everyone else.

One of the perks of being one of the agency's top models is that I sometimes get certain perks, like extended vacation. Something I'm doing right now is going to stay with grandma for two months.

I feel guilty for not being able to spend more time with her, but unfortunately my work has been very hectic lately and I always have something on my agenda. When my vacation is over, it will only be two weeks before the lingerie show I fought so hard to attend. I still keep the hope that grandma will be fine so that on the day I can tell her all the events.

Something I always did after a big event in my career, I would always tell Grandma who listened attentively and with pride.

Thoughts like that make my eyes water, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Priscila who kisses my forehead in an attempt to calm me down.

I look up trying to control the tears, I can't stay in this low mood, even closer to grandma. She deserves so much more than that, I'm going to make it the best summer ever, the summer of my life.

The landscape of buildings and walls with graffiti passed quickly while Priscila drove dodging cars at high speed. The feeling of nostalgia invades my body when I pass by the ice cream parlor where I was proposed by Liam, it makes me feel a slight shiver when I remember our meeting weeks ago.

For him it was not enough to win, but to sing loudly the victory after humiliating the opponent. He took everything from me; my dignity, my freedom, my outgoing and sensual side, my confidence...

To this day I feel somewhat trapped, like I'm pathetic compared to other women. I feel like a ridiculous person, whose everything he does goes terribly wrong, becoming the subject of laughter and ridicule.

The worst part of being a broken person is always having a magnet for parasites, men who suck more and more of your spirit, your true self. And then, you find yourself in a loop, a vicious cycle where you always have toxic and abusive love relationships, fake friendships where the only goal is to be used and then discarded like a bag of garbage.

And then it affects your mind, the way you see the world and yourself. It shakes your faith in people and your self-confidence, there are always insecurities and doubts that crush your mind.

"Am I pretty enough?” “Someday someone will really love me?” “I'm not good enough for this job. How did I get here?”

And well... There comes a time when all that weight breaks your spirit, your faith in life and hope, leaving only the darkness inside you and taking away your freedom forcing you to hide from everyone and everything.

Sometimes the voice comes in my mind telling me to surrender, that it's easier to give up everything and live life running away from people. But then I remember every time I tried, every time I suffered with a “no” and had to smile feigning false maturity.

I would not let them win this battle, I would never let that happen. I will not give up on my dream and myself.

— Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better.

Priscila sang her favorite song when she stopped at a red light. Her long red fingernails tapped the steering wheel and her eyes sparkled in the city light.

— Remember to let her into your heart, Then you can start to make it better.

I sing as in tune as I can and her lips form a smile. Priscila continues the lyrics in a lively way, her impeccable intonation was enviable. After all, the Frenchwoman attended singing lessons from her childhood until her teens. This recently landed her a role in a movie where she was given the role of a young French singer. Although the participation was brief, it was enough to make her more known than ever before, something that helped open more doors in her career.

Since then, the brunette has been experiencing things that she never thought of before in her career. It made me proud, knowing that the start of it has been promising, albeit laborious.

We arrived at the airport in time for a decent farewell. I hug my friend tightly and listen to her grumble causing me to laugh.

I kiss her cheek and see a tear come out of her black eyes, something that surprises me as my friend was not someone who cried easily.

— Oh, don't look at me like that! I have feelings too, you know?

I laugh as I see her burst into tears and pull me into a tight hug.

— I will miss you, Brenda. Days at the agency will be a drag without your weird comments and bad jokes.

— My jokes are great and my comments are excellent!

I speak feigning hurt and she laughs drying her tears. Seeing her cry was.... Surprising, something

I never thought would happen on a wasted vacation. Although it's not the holidays themselves and what they actually represented, something more morbid.

Since I met her, Priscila became my confidant, someone I trusted completely. She is one of the few people who know about my bad relationships and the only one who knows how they ended. Priscila was one of the few people I told about my grandmother's condition and it broke her heart.

I give my friend one last hug and kiss her forehead. I walk into the airport and fear invades my body along with anxiety.

United States, here I come.