I Fell in Love With my Best Friend

Jackson POV 6

Alexei had made me so frustrated that I finally snapped and called him out on everything. Shortly after that I received a text from him telling us to stay safe and I knew that it didn't matter if she saw me as a replacement for Alexei or not. I had to stay as close to her as possible in order to keep her safe.

It took about a week before she would even look at me again. It was another few days after that before she would speak to me. Even then, I had to start all of the conversations. Which is why when I went to text Wolfe that Saturday morning and I saw a text from her, I grew very concerned.

Kitten: Hey. Can we talk?

I once told you I would always make time for you. What do you need, Kitten?

Kitten: I...need to see you.

I hesitated. Why would she need to see me? Has she decided that she wants ME and not Alex? It didn't matter. I couldn't get my hopes up. I was still choosing her even if she did just want me to replace him. Of course, Kitten. Where do you want me to meet you at?

Kitten: I don't know, Jackson. Please. Can you just come get me?

Of course, Lilah. Where are you?

Home.

I'll be there in 5, okay? Just be patient.

I grabbed my keys and took off. She had never asked me to come over or to get her. I was worried something was wrong. They can't have found her yet. Alexei would have made sure of it. But why would she be asking me to come get her? Lilah, what the hell is going on?

I pulled up in front of her house and raced up to the front door. As soon as she answered the door, I panted out, "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What's going on?"

She looked at me confused. "Jackson? I'm fine. Why would you think I wasn't?"

I sighed in relief and pulled her into my arms. "You texted me after being so distant and you've never asked me to come over or to pick you up or anything. I thought maybe you were hurt." I relaxed when she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. "I was so worried, Lilah."

She buried her face in my chest. "I'm fine, Jackson. I'm safe. Why don't you come inside?"

I followed her inside and say next to get on the couch before saying, "Lilah, why did you call me over here?"

She blushed hard. "I needed to see you."

"You've said that before."

She glanced over at me. "It's true this time." She looked away and brushed her hair behind her ear. "Plus I wanted to talk."

I nodded and waited for her to go on. When she didn't, I prompted, "Lilah? What did you want to talk about?"

She shook her head and whispered, "Nevermind. It was really stupid. You can go home."

I sighed. "Kitten, please. What's on your mind?"

She looked over at me and hesitantly touched my hand. Well. At least we're making progress again. I gently took her hand in mine and rubbed the back of it with my thumb. She whispered, "What are you doing?"

"Lilah, I'm trying to show you that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Please tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours."

She turned to face me and said, "I've been thinking a lot these last couple weeks." I waited patiently for her to resume her thought. "Jackson, you were right. About Alexei and everything."

I shook my head. "Kitten, it doesn't matter. Honestly. I don't care one way or the other."

She scooched herself a little bit closer and said, "Jackson, let me say this. Please." I nodded. "I was seeing Alex when I looked at you, but when you left I got to learn so much more about you than I had previously. You're right. You and Alexei are completely different people. I should have seen it sooner, but you looked so much like him that I just wanted you to be him. Now I know that your personality and morals are so much different than his, I've come to realize that what I was feeling wasn't because of how much you remind me of him at all."

I interrupted her by saying, "Lilah, I want you to be sure of what you're saying and everything it could mean before you finish that thought, please."

She pulled my hand up to her heart much like I had done earlier in our relationship and said, "Jackson, my feelings are for you, not who you look like. Please. Let me try again."

I grinned and tugged her close, kissing the tip of her nose. "Kitten, I honestly would have given you another chance even if you did see Alexei in me. I'm here because of you, Kitten. Let me show you?"

She nodded and I leaned my forehead against hers. She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. I leaned in slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull away, and kissed her softly. She gasped softly and gently used my hair to tug me closer to her. I gently broke the kiss off and grinned at her.

She looked back at me and I said, "Li, we need to take it slow. I don't want to feel like we're rushing and I need to be certain that when we do anything, you're doing it because you want to and are ready for it."

She moved herself so that she was on my lap facing me and breathed, "Jackson, I want this." She kissed me again. "I'm ready. Please?"

I groaned and was going to protest when she leaned in and nipped my bottom lip before kissing me tenderly. My heart was pounding. This was everything I had wanted. However, it didn't feel right. Something was wrong.

Shoving my worries out of my mind, I kissed her back. She slid her fingers back into my hair and gasped as I traced my finger up her spine. I knotted my other hand into her hair and pulled her closer, crushing my lips against hers. She gasped, sending tingles up my spine and I pulled away slightly.

I breathed, "Kitten, we're adults, but I still don't have a desire to get caught making out."

She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Then why don't we go up to my room?"

I hesitated. "You're acting a little bit different, Li."

She sighed and slid back over to her own spot on the couch. "I'm sorry, Jacks. I just, I missed you the entire time you were gone and then what you said when you got back hit home. I want to prove to you that I don't see Alexei when I look at you."

I gently said, "Li, having s*x is not the way to prove that."

She turned back to me. "I don't want to have s*x with you, Jackson. I want you to know how I feel. I want you to know what I went through. I want you to see me, all of me, and tell me that you still feel the same. Jacks, I want to love you."

I took a deep breath and said, "Lilah, I don't think there's anything you could do or show me that would stop me from continuing to fall for you. If you want me to know something, please just tell me."

She stood up and held out her hand. "I need you to come upstairs. I can't just tell you. I have to show you."

I took her hand and followed her up the stairs. Her room was a pretty mint color with

royal purple accents. She guided me over to bed and had me sit down. It was memory foam and I could see Blood of Ash poking out under the blanket. The room was pretty empty otherwise. there was a full length mirror and storage for her clothes but the room was predominately dominated by a desk and several bookcases.

I said, "Li, whatever it is, I'll still be here."

I gently kissed her hand and then watched as she turned around and slowly pulled her shirt off. I was turned on of course. I mean, what straight guy wouldn't be turned on by a gorgeous girl taking her top off while they were alone in her bedroom? Seeing the skin beneath that shirt however, told another story. Her entire back and arms were covered in scars. You could tell that some of them were inflicted on purpose, but they were older and healed over. The worst one was actually covered by her hair. She turned her head slightly as I brushed her hair away to reveal a nasty, barely healed, still pink scar going from her right shoulder blade, across her neck, and down her chest.

I whispered, "Lilah, what happened to you?"

She took a deep breath and then said, "A year before Alexei and I started our weird relationship, I was with another guy. He decided that I want good enough for him when I refused to have s*x because I wasn't ready. He then decided that since I wouldn't sleep with him, he was going to wreck my body so no one else would sleep with me. Alex was the one who found me and took me to the hospital."

I gently kissed her back right below the nasty scar and asked, "What about this one?"

She breathed, "That was from the accident that killed Alex."

I kissed her neck and wrapped my arms around her waist as I said, "Did you do these ones on your arms?" She nodded and swallowed hard. "When did you do this, Kitten?"

She turned her head so that she could look at me as she told me about her depression in the aftermath of her ex and how Alexei had got her clean from self harm but how after the accident she had started up again. She explained how she had only stopped a month or so before they left and only because she didn't want to worry her brother any more than possible. I rested my chin on her shoulder and said, "Lilah, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever had the pleasure to lay eyes on. I have a confession to make. I already knew about these ones. That they existed. I suspected they were done by you. I've known since we met."

She turned slightly in my arms and said in disbelief, "You still pursued me even after seeing them?"

I smiled at her. "Just because someone is damaged or scarred, does not make them any less beautiful or any less worthy of being loved."

I reached up and caressed her face, bringing her down to my lap as I sat back on the bed. We were inches away from each other as I gently brushed a kiss across her lips. I wanted her to know how beautiful and worthy she was. I wanted her to know how special she was, however I didn't want my pursuance of that to come across as looking for s*x. I knew then and there that I had to let her make the next move.