I Fell in Love With my Best Friend

Lilah POV 5

I showed him me, all of me. Well, more accurately, all of my scars. I needed him to understand on a deeper level why I was so attached to Alexei. It had taken me the better part of the last two weeks to decide that Jackson was right and I had been using him as a replacement for Alexei. It took me the last few days to decide that I was going to tell him about the scars. I hadn't planned on showing him until he had made the comment of having s*x not proving anything.

He had been right of course. The man was more perceptive that I had thought. My original intention had been to sleep with him, but of course it wouldn't prove anything as he had said. I hadn't planned on him having known prior to me showing him the scars were there lest of all him continuing to pursue me. I hate to admit it, but my scars had seriously damn a number to my self confidence. I had never put myself out there like I was doing and I most definitely had never had s*x before, however there was something about Jackson that just made me want to throw caution to the wind and do it all with him.

He saw all of my scars and still thought I was beautiful. He pulled me down onto his lap and brushed the briefest of kisses across my lips. He traced every single one of my scars, kissing the worst of them, but he never once made me feel like he was just wanting s*x. Okay. Obviously, he was turned on. I could most definitely feel that from where I was sitting.

I must have sat there for a good twenty minutes, letting him explore my scars, when I finally couldn't take the sparks anymore. I leaned forward and kissed him again, gently rubbing against him and enjoying all of the sensations he brought about. Even when Alex and I had made out like this, I had never felt this level of attraction on a physical level. Jackson brought his hands up to cup my face as he kissed me thoroughly. I had no idea how much time had passed before he gently guided me farther back onto my bed. He was above me, kissing me tenderly, when I slipped my hand beneath the hem of his shirt. I moaned softly as he trailed one hand down my arm, but he stopped as soon my fingers grazed a raised area across his abs.

He gently pulled my hand away and breathed against my neck, "Kitten, please. Today is all about you and how you should be worshipped."

He was staring into my eyes so gingerly and lovingly. I had been so lost in his eyes that I hadn't even heard the door open or Lilly come home. I didn't hear her until she was standing in the doorway of bedroom of which she had just flung open the door. She stared at us mouth agape and Jackson cleared his throat. She stammered, "Li-lilah? W-what's going on here?"

I blushed. Jackson quickly sat up and handed me my discarded shirt. I was redressing myself when he said, "I think that's my cue to leave, Kitten."

I quickly caught his hand as he stood up and said, "Jackson, wait."

He looked down at me and smiled tenderly before kissing me one last time and saying, "I'll text you when I get back to my house, okay? We'll talk more then."

As soon as he had left, Lilly shrieked, "Lilah! What the hell? What is going on?"

I shrugged and smiled, my lips slightly swollen. "I took a chance. I showed him my scars. He didn't even blink. He just proceeded to hold me and trace every single scar, telling me each time I flinched that I was still beautiful. Lil, he knew about the ones on my arms. From the first time I met him. He knew they were there and he still pursued me."

She squealed, "Oh my goodness! Lilah, I'm so happy for you! He even gave you a pet name!"

Her smile faded almost instantly and I said, "What is it?"

"It's Emily. She's fallen sick again. Also, you have a letter from Alexei's mom."

She passed me a letter and I sighed. I was finally moving on in life, but she did say that she would keep in touch. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see what she had to say, right?"

Lilly smiled slightly. "Do you want me to stay while you read it?" I shook my head. "Okay. well I'm going to go on downstairs and try to keep Jason calm."

I followed her gaze to see Jackson was out in the driveway being semi interrogated by Jason. I winced and nodded as Lilly left. I type open the envelope to find that it wasn't Marie's handwriting at all. It was Alexei's. It read:

Dearest Li,

By the time you read this, I will already be gone. There are so many things I haven't been able to tell you. Things I haven't been able to show you. Things about my life before I met you. The thing is, I haven't wanted to keep any of these things from you. I've truly loved you all of this time, but if I told you the truth about nearly half of this, it would be putting all of your lives at danger. As it is, you're already in danger, just because I love you. I'm growing weaker by the second so this letter is going to be short. I had hoped to be able to explain all of this before I left, but time is short and I'll be gone by the time you wake up.  If you're ever in danger, call this number. It's my cousin in Russia. He'll protect you. He'll always protect you. Just remember, Li. I love you. Be safe. And please move on.

Alex

I had been standing in front of the window when I collapsed onto my bedroom floor with a loud sob. I heard three separate sets of footsteps running up the stairs towards my room. I knew Lilly was there. I heard the familiar up lilt of her voice. There were two male voices as well. I was crying my eyes out and had snot everywhere and I knew Lilly was holding me, but I was still screaming.

"Jase," she exclaimed. "you're not helping!"

Jason. That explains one of the voices. He said, "Lil, what happened?"

She said, "I don't know! She was fine when I left!"

Another set of shoes came into my line of sight and I thought that through the tears I could recognize them. He picked up the letter and then I heard his voice say, "It's Alexei."

Jason snapped, "You stay out of this! You have no business being here!"

He calmly responded, "If you would put aside your anger at me long enough to pay attention to your sister you would have noticed that just as I started talking, she calmed down slightly. If you let me, I'm sure I could help more."

Jason started to protest, but Lilly cut in and said, "Jackson, get over here. Jason will suck it up."

Jackson. That's who the third person was. Why was he still there? Hadn't it been hours? He crouched down in front of me and using one single finger, he tilted my head up so my face could be clearly seen. He leaned his forehead against mine and breathed in deeply.

He leaned over slightly and whispered in my ear, "Kitten. It's me. I'm here. I need you to calm down. Please."

He gently kissed my cheek and pulled me into him. "Breathe, Kitten. In. And out. Just breathe. Listen to the sound of my voice." He waited a few minutes as I breathed in his scent. "You know what I thought about the entire time I was in the States? You, Kitten. Holding you. Kissing you. Loving you. That's what this is really. My feelings for you, that is. I told you we should take this slow, and that's exactly what we will do. I will help you get through this, Lilah. Alexei clearly cared for you, but I don't think he knew how to love you in a healthy way. You've become entirely reliant on him, haven't you?"

I nodded. He continued saying, "That's alright, love. I'm sure his death was quite a blow, but listen to me. You need to move on. I don't say this for my sake. I say this for you. This isn't healthy, Li. Come back from that emotional ledge and let me teach you to stand on your own two feet."

Jason hissed, "What the hell are you talking about? She's fine! You don't even know her!"

I hiccupped and Jackson kissed the top of my head before responding, "I know your sister better than you I daresay. It's time you calm down."

Lilly intervened one more time, "Jason how about we go get her something to eat and drink. When we come back, he can leave, okay? They obviously need some time to talk."

They left and he said, "Kitten, I know this has to do with that letter. What's really going on?"

I hiccupped, "I don't know. I just read the letter and it all came crashing down again."

He took my face in his hands and whispered against my lips, "Lilah, what is it going to take to get you to forget about him and the pain he has caused?"

I was intoxicated by his aroma as I whispered, "What do you mean?"

"I'm right here, Kitten. Right here. I would do absolutely anything for you. I need you to tell me what it would take in your opinion to get you to move on and be free from these nightmares and episodes." I shrugged and he pressed his forehead against mine yet again. "I'll do it. Whatever it is. I swear. I'll free you from this pain. Just please tell me, Kitten."

I admit, my next actions were pure impulse, but I gently threaded my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled him into a mind numbing kiss. He groaned in pleasure, but he pulled away from me. He gasped out, "Lilah, I don't understand what's going on."

I sighed and whispered, "This. Whatever this is between us. Whatever this attraction is. That is what is going to free me. Please, Jacks. Please."

He stood up and gently guided me up and to the bed saying, "Lilah, I will do whatever you want, but only if it's what you truly want. You have show me what you want."

I pulled off my shirt (again) as I sat on the bed and watched as he slowly pushed me back on the bed, hovering over top of me the way we were when we were interrupted prior. Everything he did was ever so gentle and oh so careful. I could tell he was terrified that I would change my mind, so I gently guided his hand up to cup my breast as I pulled him back into a kiss. He groaned into my mouth as I deepened the kiss and reached down to his belt. He gasped and pulled away briefly.

He whispered, "Lilah, I need to tell you something before this goes any further." I nodded and he cupped my face with his hand. "I am completely I'm love with you. There are some things I have to tell you about yet, but I would never do anything to hurt you. I need you to be sure this is what you want, Kitten. I'm in no rush. I can wait."

I felt a tightness in my chest, but it was a good kind. The kind you get when you are incredibly happy. The kind of tightness that covers with a shortness of breath. I couldn't say anything so I just kissed him again. He reached up and broke off the kiss long enough to pull his shirt off with one hand. He moaned into my mouth as I undid his belt and pants and slowly slid my hand along his erection. He slid his hands under my skirt and pulled away in surprise. Grinning, he slid his pants off and pulled me up for a kiss.

He whispered, "If we're going to do this, you're going to have full control. I want you to do what you want. use me how you want."

I slowly reached down between my legs and pulled off my soaked panties before pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him. I whispered, "You're going to have to help me. I've never done this before."

He nodded and slowly guided himself to my entrance. With one gentle motion, he eased himself into me. The pain was more than I expected and I whimpered. He rolled is over so he was on top and kissed me hard before whispering, "It'll hurt less this way, Kitten. We can stop at any time."

I breathed, "No. I want this, Jacks." I pressed my hand against the side of his face. "You make me feel in ways I haven't before."

He leaned down and kissed me hard as he slid himself inside me the rest of the way. I gasped and he paused before I started to squirm under him. I had imagined what s*x would feel like. I had of course thought about it before. I had just never expected it to feel this amazing. He moaned and pulled me closer, sliding in and out. I cried out his name at one point and he rewarded me with a particularly passionate kiss and a breathed, "Lilah, I love you."

I felt him thrusting faster and I knew his climax was coming. He started to pull out, but I wrapped my legs around him and moaned into his mouth, "Please, Jackson."

he groaned and thrusted into me one final time before realizing what I had just asked him to do.